But you obviously think that there is a workaround if we get our asses in gear.

I think we can achieve at least modest success, yes. And even if we don’t – I think the act of trying is what’s really important. I believe that good people always triumph over the evil bastards, even if their triumph is not readily apparent.

If you’ve made a positive difference in one person’s life – you’ve already done something major, as far as I’m concerned (which is why I still have respect for Germaine Greer).

But you obviously think that there is a workaround if we get our asses in gear. Maybe you’re an idealistic cynic? And either way, yeah, I’m really tired of people getting shat on for an idea, and idea that’s fluid, not rigid, and is not a monolithic structure that can never be questioned. Sure there is a structure in place to make women feel shitty about themselves so as to help subjugate them. Let’s defeat that as opposed to defeating individual women.

examining, I suppose, with an eye toward eliminating.

See, that always makes me flinch, because having gone through a pretty radical feminist conversion myself, I nevertheless choose to look a certain way. I like clothes and beauty products – and their different implications, anything from cold-hard cash issues to art. It’s an eternally fascinating market – with bad sides, and good sides. What I WOULD like to see is people gaining more freedom to negotiate said market – opting out is crucial.

I think the only real snag down the road is the idea of beauty – and changing beauty standards. What’s beautiful always draws the eye – and it inspires both affection and hate (and politics… Or is it the other way around? Hmmmm). Can we eliminate the beautiful? The Soviets certainly tried. And the most horrible thing about the Soviets is how their idealism turned monstrous.

At this point in my life, I’ve also discovered that I strongly identify with both the work-ethic and beauty-ethic of women in my family (who came of age, ironically, in the Soviet era). It’s a cultural issue for me, as much as a feminist issue.

Other women, for example, have the same sort of link to hijab, or even niqab for that matter. Niqab makes me uncomfortable – but I realize that my interpretation of it isn’t the only one there is. Living in the UAE has given me way more perspective on all of these issues of appearance. Once again, the ability to opt out is crucial.

Hope the above makes a bit of sense.

And it’s really funny I have been on and off the pill over the years for different reason and I have never come across a doctor pressuring me or ridiculing me for wanting to stay off.

You know, I have. After birth control pills caused my body to react negatively – first with mood swings, then with yeast infections, and finally with spurts of blood that appeared almost daily for a month. The first doctor tried to up my dosage. Didn’t work “Stick with it, don’t be silly.” Went to a different doctor.

New doctor: “do Depo.” Me: “Can I get a diaphragm instead?” She: “it’s what’s best.” My mother was on the phone from Ukraine, begging me to go off when she found out, but the doctor said “your mother doesn’t understand.”

Depo was mood swings, and bleeding for about two months. I want to stop, am told “your body is adjusting.” Mother’s screaming that something is wrong (I was home for Christmas and bleeding all over the place). I go back. “Don’t listen to your mother.” Two more months of bleeding, crying, and cramps – I was rolling around on the floor screaming.

It still took a professor of mine, a feminist who puts us all to shame as far as I’m concerned, to tell me that I needed to stop, and think for myself.

I don’t think this is some huge indictment of the American feminist movement. As someone who considers herself as much a part of American life as anyone born in the country – I don’t like generalizations of any sort.

As I said in my post, shit happens. Even when we do things because they are for the best.

“However, she has learned to wear a bra (despite the fact that she doesn’t feel they are healthy) to avoid comments or looks from both men and women.”

So it’s the “momolithic American feminists” that are forcing your wife to wear a bra? Hmmm.. . whatever happened to the bra-burner reputation?

I can count the times I have sported bras on the fingers of one hands and yet I have never ever got any kind of look from anyone who identifies as feminist.

“Lastly, she has been repeatedly harassed and been subjected to sarcastic comments from her female doctors when she indicates she isn’t interested in taking birth control.”
Oh so because some ob/gyns have been jerks to her, American feminists have a monolithic “conform or else” point if view. How do you know that those doctors are feminists anyways?
And it’s really funny I have been on and off the pill over the years for different reason and I have never come across a doctor pressuring me or ridiculing me for wanting to stay off. Your wife runs into a couple of arrogant doctors and OMG those feminists are evil.

Ands as for her belief that “taking birth control pills is either natural or healthy”, well, I have to say that if you say that to a doctor they can’t help but be somewhat annoyed, you know, because It’s not a matter of her belief, it’s a matter of scientific facts and evidence. It’s not natural? Well, neither are glasses, shoes or clothes for that matter.

and yeah, I think my own favorite feminist is Molly Ivins. Women are neat people, the only coherent statement on fashion the movement ever came up with was that maybe June Cleaver would’ve been happier if she hadn’t insisted on vacuuming in high heels, you got to dance with the one that brung you, and I am the Cosmos, TOO, by God.

no pretension, no bullshit, no cutesy affectations and seekrit handshakes. She was a true small-d democrat. of which feminism is a necessary, but not sufficient, part. RIP, Molly, once again.