The name of the person I am addressing has been removed from this post, per request. I sincerely regret the fact that my language contributed to the idea that plagiarism was involved (I wouldn’t be equipped to comment on plagiarism in any way shape or form, as a matter of fact). HOWEVER, appropriation is NOT some “fall-back position” I utilized for the sake of character assassination. This is NOT some dumbass tit-for-tat.
In light of that comment, I am feeling like quite the dumbass at the moment.
X, you are a gifted individual, and I would like to consider you an ally. Hence it is especially frustrating for me to observe you using someone else’s ideas without so much as a simple acknowledgment.
You know what I’m talking about, what others are talking about too. This is stealing, and stealing sucks (No, I am not making the accusation of plagiarism, and I want to make that very clear. I am talking about appropriation.).
Please change, X. For the love of God
People like Bfp have been sounding the alarm as to the crimes perpetrated against immigrants and WoC’s and immigrant WoC’s for years now. As an immigrant and naturalized citizen, I find that these issue hit close to home for me as well. We should all be in this together, but appropriating another person’s thoughts and hard work with nary a nod in their direction is going to achieve just the opposite.
Speaking of immigrants, I noticed Twisty has given a review of your book, and took the trouble to quote this particular tidbit:
Once a Nice Guy has slid into racist fetishizing, he is usually unsalvageable. The best thing you can do is wait until he brings home potential mail-order brides from Russia and slip them pamphlets explaining how to get a green card outside of marrying a Nice Guy.
You know, a lot of Slavic women come to the States and make mince-meat out of the men who “order” them as if they’re at a buffet. I’ve met several women like that. I’ve also met several women who met potential husbands through online dating portals, got to know them (as opposed to just sending them their bra size), got married, and lived happily ever after – with kids, and barbecues, and watergun-fights on sunny beaches.
Finally, having also encountered a guy hunting a runaway mail-order bride (think they’ll make THAT one into a cutesy Julia Roberts movie?) with a gun, I have to say that seeing this entire phenomenon being used as a throwaway punchline in mainstream feminist circles makes me feel like punching a hole in the wall, or a hole in the fabric of space-time, or something equally drastic.
I haven’t read your book, X, having been abroad and unable to settle down in one place long enough to actually begin ordering books again, so for all I know, you’ve actually included a thoughtful word or two about foreign mail-order brides outside of how they might impact an American woman’s dating pool (and yes, I’ve noticed you advise women to give out unspecified pamphlets… can you blame me for thinking you were being flippant there?).
If you haven’t – well, I know you’re not Santa Claus, you can’t span the globe in one night and deliver penetrating insight on every feminist issue in existence – though then I’d have to wonder as to why mention the phenomenon at all, if not for the sake of instructing the American feminist on how to condescend to (as opposed to actually engage) the unwashed and unenlightened huddled masses.
Once more, with feeling:
Please change. You can, and should, do better.