BLOG ENDORSEMENT OF THE WEEK: Natalia Antonova, a blog that deals with feminism, Eastern European and Middle-Eastern politics, and occasionally, stuff. Her What About The Menz? post was pointed and nasty- which of course I love….

Creeps are trolls. Trolls aren’t welcome.

P.S. Before you go, take that “vanity” thing and try to examine in through the lens of prejudice. Who knows what you might find? And I’m saying this as someone who know several couples who found genuine companionship like this.

But, as I said up above, men who approach women from a mercantile perspective and then are shocked to be outwitted at their own game, and furthermore go on to talk about how THEIR concerns are more important that the concerns of human-trafficking victims, are sexist, racist scum.

You are making an assumption that these men approach women from a mercantile perspective. That is a big leap in logic. Do you know that? In every case? How can you know what is in a man’s heart? How do you know some man, thinking with his dick, did not fall madly in love, or at least in lust, with a young woman who showed him affection? How do you know his vanity did not make him believe this beautiful creature returned his affections?

And yes, I am a Ukrainian (and, I will add, not a naturalized Canadian). When you log in from the US or elsewhere, are somehow “less” Ukrainian?

My point is that the urban experience of Kyiv is far different from the experience of someone in Chernihiv, or Sumy, or Poltava. These are regions I visit regularly. To see the destruction, the emptiness, in all respects, from physical to spiritual, and what people will do to each other is something I thought would change as we moved away from our past. It hasn’t. That was my point. It is no different in Russia, at least not away form the big cities.

In Soviet times, these same types of women married men from cities to escape. Now, they have new targets. It is something I don’t think Westerners truly understand.

Poeschl, first, English is not as uncommon in Ukraine as you suspect, but most English is not completely fluent.

I reject the notion that all men are buying a wife. Many are looking for love, often after a lifetime of disappointment or loneliness. Now, perhaps a fool marrying someone 30 years younger deserves his fate. Perhaps someone who cannot handle a woman in his own country because he is looking for a docile mate (in which case, he will be disappointed with most Ukrainian brides) deserves that fate. But these are not always the cases in these marriages. Many of these individuals do not deserve this. That was my point. To suggest that every man with a FSU bride is buying a wife is not accurate.

Similarly, I reject the notion the original poster made that every FSU is trying to scam a man. Many of these marriages do not last because of cultural differences, or unsuitable temperments, or because strangers often learn they cannot live together.

I just find the attack on him rather one sided.

What I am saying is that Natalia’s experiences are limited by her environment, and her privileges mean she is not seeing the life of the ordinary Ukrainian.

I mean this in the best possible way: you know nothing about my environment, who I interact with, who my friends and relatives are, where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. End of discussion.

She doesn’t need to answer. I already know what the answer is.

You’re right, I don’t need to answer. Because I don’t need validation from you.

Concern-trolls who log in from Canada and derail a conversation about men who go to purchase relationships in poor countries by screaming “BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW ORDINARY UKRAINIANS LIVE!!!” are really, really not the sort of people whose agreement, on any issue, I would seek. You may say, “not all of those men are bad.” And I would agree. Not all. I don’t issue blanket statements, unlike you. But, as I said up above, men who approach women from a mercantile perspective and then are shocked to be outwitted at their own game, and furthermore go on to talk about how THEIR concerns are more important that the concerns of human-trafficking victims, are sexist, racist scum.

Now, stop flattering yourself with this whole “you must care about what I think of you and your entire life experience (which I, in my infinite wisdom, have figured out).” And cry about these poor wee wittle men to someone who cares.

First, I note your statement that, “There was no ad hominem attack,” and I assume that you mean that you did not intend for your statements to be understood as an ad hominem attack. If so, I’ll take your word for it.

But I’ve noted that Natalia’s online critics, if they’re women, frequently charge Natalia with being “privileged” in some form or another, as though whatever advantages Natalia enjoys in life somehow disable her from seeing the reality of other people’s lives.

I would guess that, in Ukraine, Natalia does pass for privileged since she’s a naturalized U.S. citizen and an honors graduate of an elite American university. I would also assume that, in Ukraine, anyone who is fluent in English and has access to the Internet is in fact privileged, so both you and Natalia can be called “privileged” Ukrainians in that regard.

But just as your privileges, whatever they might be, don’t disable you from seeing the realities of life for the Ukrainians whom you call “ordinary,” neither do Natalia’s privileges disable her from seeing and trying to understand the lives of Ukrainians who live outside her own ‘zone of privilege,’ whatever that might be.

I don’t know how familiar Natalia is with life in rural Ukraine. I do know, from following Natalia’s blog, that she makes every effort she can to understand the lives of disadvantaged Ukrainians and to see life from their point of view.

I should add that, since I’ve never met Natalia and have never been to Ukraine, I have no idea how Natalia’s “environment” or “experiences” could disable her from understanding other Ukrainians. That’s why I never claim that Natalia doesn’t know what she’s talking about, when she reports about conditions in Ukraine.

But I note that you yourself seem confident enough in your knowledge of what Natalia’s “environment” and “experiences” have actually been, to the point that you feel you can safely dismiss Natalia’s comments as being based on ignorance. Unless you know Natalia personally, I don’t see how you can be certain that you know Natalia’s “experiences” well enough to dismiss her comments.

As to Natalia’s seeing things in black and white: It’s odd that you would say that, since, on this blog, Natalia usually takes a very nuanced view of other people’s lives and occupations, especially the lives and occupations of people less fortunate than herself.

And to return to the scammed American husband, although you didn’t mention him personally in your response: Even though not every Russian scammer is listed online, any American who has the financial resources to “buy” a bride online can be expected to have the intellectual resources to perform the same due diligence that he would perform before buying a house, car, shares of stock, etc., especially considering that multiple anti-scam sites are available online. And again, that’s not to acquit the Russian woman and service who scammed him. But in America, the Latin phrase “Caveat emptor” (i.e., “Let the buyer beware!”) expresses the Anglo-American legal principle that, in any transaction, the buyer assumes most of the risk, as long as it is not undue risk. This American suffered no undue risk, since he had ample opportunity to research this investment and prevent his being scammed. He simply didn’t make use of his opportunity and resources to prevent his being cheated. So as I said in my initial comment on this thread, he actually got what he paid for.

I know there are anti scam sites. But that doesn’t mean that every woman who is a “scammer” is listed. Most scammers have no intention of marrying a Western man. They are looking for cash, or gifts, or good times.