btw,

“I also have no desire to jump into discussion threads that mostly consist of everyone nodding and proclaiming “we are all individuals,” Life-of-Brian style.”

-snerk- -looks around nervously-

“I’m not…”

Real acknowledgment is the first important step, I believe. Often, I think people cross over into this really weird and gross territory where they make it all about themselves anyway – “Oh, look at me! So privileged! So clueless!” That kind of freaks me out, almost as much as people who are blind to all that stuff to begin with.

but at the same time, it’s like…yeah, basic recognition of, money isn’t going to necessarily solve that all by itself–s0metimes the body just does what it does–but it certainly is better than -not- having it when it comes to better life expectancy, isn’t it? And yet I can’t remember the last time she wrote about health insurance as a general issue. Admittedly I haven’t actually read her in a long time, it’s possible that she did. But, y’know. And the commentariat…boy. I still remember the time some sucking wound of an asshole (to her credit Twisty did flame her eventually) yelled at the former grannyvibe (who had cancer and -no- financial backup, ended up having to sell her house and bankrupt herself for treatment) for suggesting that it might be worthwhile to talk about why yet another cancer patient who had no funds was in that position (can’t afford treatment) in the first place rather than how feministically TERRIBLE it was that friends were fundraising for her with a cheesecake calendar they were posing for themselves. And that she wasn’t being a “good role model for suffering,” I wish I were making that up.

But on a personal level–

yeah, I don’t know, suppose I could talk about the dream I had once during a more uncertain time, classic anxiety dream with various menacing persecutors not unrelated to internalized and externalized homophobia (dream symbology, won’t go into it), and I got into a cab to get the hell out of there and it turned out that I only had Monopoly money to pay the driver, who told me to get out (back to your classic urban nightmarescape).

I mean, I have a friend who grew up with material wealth (and a poverty of support in most other ways) and then got it taken away from him rather suddenly when he was 21; and the intersection of his queerness as well as personal family shit (which also contributed to the loss of material wealth) as well as then becoming an immigrant/emigrant…it’s been interesting to observe, I guess, if y’know, not exactly clinical on account of this is my best friend and all. Still, yeah, there’s some residual entitlement there, I would say, in various ways (male and white and able bodied and so on, too, sure, all of which no doubt still stands him in good stead; as do things like higher education and contacts and so on). And a lot of pain, too; and the loss of insulation, I mean basic -security-, is, well, really fucking scary.

I’ve known a few who do go around preaching smugly about their superior -radical sexuality-

I seem to remember a person who showed up on Feministe to flaunt her radicalism in Jill’s face (Jill being the “original fake pretty feminist,” according to an asshole we all know and love).

And I think you actually make an excellent point in regards to material wealth and the intersection of human rights in general.

It’s not exactly a great comparison, because unlike material wealth, marriage rights are not in fact a scarce commodity, or needn’t be, if people weren’t assholes (yeah, I know, tax codes mumblesomething, I don’t claim to get how that part works, I’m talking about legal and social recognition as “legitimate”);

but like, I know heterosexually partnered people who refuse to get married on account of it’s not fair.

And as far as it goes, that’s fine. If that’s what you think is the right thing to do. But, of itself, it doesn’t exactly solve the problem for the same sex couples who -do- want to get married. And, while a lot of people who do this don’t expect cookies for it–again, totally fine, nice people, no problems–I’ve known a few who do go around preaching smugly about their superior -radical sexuality- –the not getting married would only be one facet in this case; I’ll stop before I start ranting about the (oh, socioeconomically privileged in spades, need it be said) guy who -is- already married to some -other- woman, which he can’t break up because he needs to support his kid or something; but he and his current girlfriend are like totally -against marriage- and -breeding- in -all- contexts, see…

and it’s like: Really, fuck off. I’d much rather be around straight people who go ahead and take advantage of the privileges marriage offers them, and why not? but actively work to make sure the same rights are available to their gay friends.

Again, it’s kind of apples to oranges, I realize, but…

Per “selfishness,” besides all the intersections already observed (sure, there’s still shit that comes with being a woman and/or queer, even if the wealth is insulating to various degrees, depending on how else you’re situated):

It’s not immediately obvious that simply giving away one’s lands rids one of the privileged attitude, as Orwell once wrote about Tolstoy in an essay connecting him to King Lear; also see, I don’t know, something like Maoist Internationalist Movement or some shit like that. Which isn’t necessarily to say, “don’t,” if that’s the right thing to do, (I try to be conscious, and there’s farther to go in various ways, obviously, but I make no claim to be a “revolutionary,” and I freely cop to my own belly-to-earth selfishness)

…but again, paraquoting Orwell, if you want to live for others, then live -for- others, not as a roundabout way of getting a less obvious form of reward for yourself. Also see attempts at “getting rid of” privilege in supposedly less mutable contexts: Kyle Payne, for an extreme example, but also any number of other male feminists, white anti-racists, etc. etc. etc. Which, again, isn’t to say, just give up and be a solipsistic entitlement monster, obviously. Just, you know: you share or do whatever else because it’s the right thing to do, not because you secretly expect the rest of the world to recognize your heroic sacrifices in pursuit of your own spiritual path or whatever it is.

This, however, is really a tangent, because it’s hardly Twisty’s problem. I mean, there’s hairshirt wearing; and then there’s just not even being remotely conscious that one -has- -any- sort of privilege in the damn first place. And it’s not like other people haven’t pointed it out to her over the years, I know. Last I recall she responded with (paraphrasing, but not by much) a whine that she was being told by the feminist police that she can’t be a proper feminist (!!!) on account of she comes from the “wrong” class. Seriously, that’s all she took from it. It’s all she’ll ever take from it.

Daisy’s post on this is really good, and pretty damn clear for anyone who -wants- to understand it:

http://daisysdeadair.blogspot.com/2008/12/feminists-on-high-horses-pt-1.html

What I was trying to say in regards to Twisty is – I don’t have a problem with her money. Because I bet that a lot of people would jump all over that and go “YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS OF HER CASH!”, you know? Twisty has had it hard in other ways, so I’m glad that she has an inheritance to fall back on. A lot of other people don’t, of course, but that’s a whole other conversation.

I just don’t think Twisty sees that people can be “selfish” in all sorts of ways – and it’s a part of being human, and that women, furthermore, get called out for their “selfishness” a whole lot more than men do. I mean, she has this whole feminist narrative going on at her very well-read site, but it feels like an echo chamber, most of the time.

So in that sense, of course, money has to be examined like everything else. I just don’t know where to go with that, really, because I’m generally not one of those people who would urge others to “examine their choices,” or whatever. I have my own to worry about.

In the end, what would I say to Twisty? “Give it all away, hon”? That would be hypocritical as fuck.

So that’s why I said what I said. I think. I have a hangover, so take it all with a grain of salt.