Comments on: “Do you like being unhappy?” “Do you like the fact that rain is wet?”

By: Natalia Antonova

Natalia Antonova — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:49:50 +0000

Chekhov.

By: Politicalguineapig

Politicalguineapig — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:40:23 +0000

Who was it who asked for champagne on his deathbed? I think it was Tolstoy, but I’m not sure. Anyway, I’ve always liked that idea: I may be dying but I want that last glass of bubbly!

By: scary azeri

scary azeri — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:12:18 +0000

My husband claims we are all ” Suffering Soviets”, i.e. we love to suffer, we love to be in pain and we love some emotional drama.

I think, even though grossly exaggerated, there might be some trace of truth in it, don’t you?

By: Omar K.

Omar K. — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 15:16:15 +0000

I adore your writing as of late, Nat. I always adore it, but especially so now. You’re going to be fine. I think you make a lot of people happy with this stuff. You certainly make me happy.

On a general note: the people who are asking you if you like being unhappy are weird. Maybe I’m missing some context but nobody has the right to twist anyone else’s arm to make them smile wider.

srsuleski,

I’m just a guy on a blog and I don’t know you at all, but wanted to say: start out small. Start out loving yourself. Love is such an interesting thing. You think most people in relationships have it? A lot don’t, actually. But the real thing will find you, if you really want it to. You just need to cut yourself some slack.

By: Lal

Lal — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 10:03:23 +0000

What do you do when you isolate and recognize the feeling of familiarity? Look for a consenting rainbow to have sex with?

LOL

This is why I love you, Nat. You have the power to make me laugh.

It’s a rumbling refrigerator, a ticking clock, a dust bunny, an ancient radiator coming briefly alive with a sound like a wet flipper, a soreness in the thighs, the pounding of fugly heels on well-worn boots on the sidewalk as the indifferent stars come out.

I love you also because you can make me cry. In one damn sitting.

By: srsuleski

srsuleski — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:44:10 +0000

Wallowing in self pity has its own sense of comfort and satisfaction. Whenever I find myself liking someone, and whenever that someone inevitably rejects me, subtly or overtly, I like to take a step back and remind myself that I will ALWAYS be along and NO ONE will EVER love me. It’s a fit of agony and angst that is getting to feel like a well worn blanket. If I lock myself in my bedroom with my cats in defiance of all those who say I need to put myself out there and kiss a lot of frogs, I can find solace in some steady, even, comfortable unhappiness. It beats the hell out of having to deal with disappointed hopes, time and again. In other words, “Hello loneliness, my constant friend.”

By: Dana

Dana — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:56:00 +0000

Wow, this is timely. I had an epiphany the other day (you know, when things you know intellectually suddenly click emotionally?) that I need to stop fighting the hateful thoughts I have – it’s like engaging with the worst of internet trolls, it only makes it worse. I need to accept that I am going to think things like that, and just ignore them and work around them. Damn if it doesn’t work a fuckload better than fighting it.

As for liking unhappiness… ha, gotta love cluelessness. I would say one develops an attachment to it. It’s a lot easier to feel deep aching pain you’re used to than allow yourself to be vulnerable and possibly fall back into it all the more bitter. Or fuck, facing the fact that someone genuinely caring for you, never hurting you, is more upsetting and harder to deal with than being treated like shit and all you can do it go with it and hope it gets better.

I hope you’re feeling OK.