“Do you like being unhappy?” “Do you like the fact that rain is wet?”

No one single instant of it was unendurable. Here was a second right here: he endured it. What was undealable-with was the thought of all the instants all lined up and stretching ahead, glittering… – David Foster Wallace.
Someone asked me recently if I “like” being unhappy. It’s a strange and, at the same time, normal [...]

Monday Music: the vague stab at Europop/the shadow of the past edition

Because Safiya has been on my case about this (she’s been on my case about lots of things, which is nice of her), this Monday Music edition will feature some electronic and not so electronic Euro-poppery. With special thanks to Helen.
Starry Eyed (Jakwob remix) – Ellie Goulding
Triangle Walks (Rex the Dog remix) – Fever Ray
Only [...]

Depression: at the Black Gate with Anton Chekhov and Leroy Jenkins

I admire Chekhov, and not just for his writing, and not just because he was startlingly hot either. To paraphrase Ivan Bunin, Chekhov was not a little bitch. Even when he knew he was dying from TB, he didn’t whine hysterically from the pages of Russian literary journals. He didn’t ask his readers for hugs. [...]

From a feminine feminist: dear Ashley, it’s not my magical mesh panties that make me happy

There’s lots to cringe at over at the Sense & Sexuality blog, but this particular essay jumped out at me. Of course, it’s not like I haven’t heard the same thing over and over again: “you’re trying to have it all and hence you’re unhappy,” “gender equality kills romance,” “porn is SATAN – and your [...]

On the metro. 9 p.m.

My big shoulder-bag, one of the stars of this essay, doesn’t lend itself to traveling with an iPod if I don’t have a coat with pockets on. On the metro, coming back from spray-painted, moonlit Obolon’, I ended up having to stuff it in the waistband of my jeans as I stood by the door, [...]

Fast girls

There’s a certain time of day, when the unkempt stadium across from my building is divided equally by light and shadow. Today, I came out at just such a time. After my usual warm-up, I found myself winded fairly quickly, the wind whipping me with my own hair (“cut your hair, Nat,” my track coach [...]

Synesthesia: I has it

Leave it to me to be inspired by  a Cracked article about how certain mental conditions could potentially get a guy laid (hey Cracked, when are you going to start helping ladies to get laid? Just sayin).
Nabokov had it. Tori Amos has it. Yours truly has it, though she’s not nearly as awesome as [...]

Stuck inside of Kiev with the Charlotte blues again

I have a confession to make. I hate, HATE, the way autumn rushes into Ukraine, like a guest who shows up to early – and already filthy drunk. The blue of the sky gets deeper, the wind has a damp undertow. Autumn here smells like mushrooms and earth and every single bad thing I’ve ever [...]

What gives me hope (as per Ashley’s question)

Ashley has a great post about hope on Feministe right now. I started to type out my response in the comments, but it got long and complicated, so I’m bringing it here. “What gives you hope?” is a great question. I don’t think we ask it often enough. When we fill out surveys and memes, [...]

Funkyzeit mit Fedya

This is Fedya, my parents’ cat.
Everything he thinks of me and, quite possibly, the world at large, is summed up by this picture.
Yesterday, in the middle of the night, I was attacked by a huge moth. I called for reinforcements. My brother and I swatted at the Mothra monster with a baseball bat for [...]