Sticky Stupids

Despite (or maybe because) of the financial turmoil and general aimlessness and desperation that have characterized these post-collegiate months, some days, I just have to fall down in hysterics.

A woman in a speeding minivan nearly mowed me down in a parking lot today. As I watched her drive away, sans apology, I noticed a peculiar sticker on the back of her car.

“Thank GOD Your Mother Was Pro-Life.”

The irony was palpable.

Of course, there was also something mind-bogglingly moronic about the statement being expressed. I wanted to run after the woman’s car and yell, “MY MOTHER IS PRO-CHOICE AND SHE HAD TWO KIDS INCLUDING ME!” I don’t know what would that have achieved, but the look on her face may have been worth it.

This is the sort of shallow rhetoric that most of us pro-choicers have to put with on a regular basis. It assumes that every single woman who has ever carried a child to term is automatically going to want to join their camp. It attempts to speak for all mothers indicriminately, hence implying that a womb and a brain are mutually exclusive. It’s politics disguised as piety.

Well, bugger that, I say. What the hell does “pro-life” mean to a person who drives around parking lots at well over 50 mph anyway?

The good thing about Durham, of course, is that there are probably a lot of people giving her the finger as she drives by. Durham is awesome like that.

As for me, I stood in the parking lot and laughed, and laughed.

Now I want to go out for some drinkies and drown out the sorrow of being poor and over-taxed, all the while watching money flow into wingut organizations, at least one of which that awful woman is likely to be part of.

4 thoughts on “Sticky Stupids

  1. Perhaps she should get hold of another car sticker I once saw and thought was quite amusing. It said: ‘Jesus loves you! Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.’

  2. I can’t remember if it was Bill Hicks or David Cross who said something like (and I’m paraphrasing): “Pro-lifers should block the entrances to cemeteries: ‘we’re pro-life and we don’t believe that guy’s really dead We’re for life! Life for everyone!'”

    OK, so it was a lot funnier in the original…

  3. I’m not a fan of bumper sticker opininating in general. If it’s worth saying, don’t say it on your car’s ass.

    Which is not to say that I favor abortion, because I don’t at all, but the debate really cannot be reduced to some silly, innaccurate platitude and it really doesn’t do your side of the issue any favors.

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