“Do Marines like cake?” “Does God have a butt?” Conversations with a five-year-old

“Mommy, you’re a hippo.” “I’m a what?! Why?!” “You’re a mommy hippo. Because I want to be a baby hippo.” “Oh.” “I’m a baby hippo, but I’m also Denzel.” “So like a baby hippo whose name is Denzel?” “No, sometimes I’m a baby hippo, other times I’m Denzel.” “OK.” “Mommy, you’re also a baby strawberry.”Continue reading ““Do Marines like cake?” “Does God have a butt?” Conversations with a five-year-old”

Sixteen people to not hang out with in 2016

Happy New Year! I’ve been accused of being “too negative” around the blogosphere lately. “Cheer up, Natalia,” a bunch of you are saying. “Stop using indelicate words and hating on people quite as much.” I’m sure most of you have a point. But since none of you will read me if I’m going to goContinue reading “Sixteen people to not hang out with in 2016”

I just read gay Strelkov porn so you wouldn’t have to

Note: After I wrote this post, I made the decision to insert a bunch of gifs with hot men in them. It’s not for you – it’s for me. To preserve my soul. When Heather McRobie alerted me to the fact that erotic gay fan fiction featuring Igor Strelkov (Girkin), former (?) separatist leader in easternContinue reading “I just read gay Strelkov porn so you wouldn’t have to”

Oh my God, Becky – look at Pornhub’s statistics on Russia and anal sex videos

Someone who reads this blog has suggested that I write an overwrought essay about the latest Pornhub study, which has found that anal sex porn is “more popular in Russia than any other country.” Naturally, I am very offended by the suggestion that my writing is overwrought, and I am stomping my foot as IContinue reading “Oh my God, Becky – look at Pornhub’s statistics on Russia and anal sex videos”

More EuroMaidan stupidity: concerned helicopter mom doesn’t like my tone

Ever since writing that post about stupid things people have been saying about the EuroMaidan protests in Ukraine, I felt like moving on from discussing stupidity – at least for a while. It’s not good for your blood pressure, for one thing. But then the post started getting passed around – and some friends haveContinue reading “More EuroMaidan stupidity: concerned helicopter mom doesn’t like my tone”