To expand on something Umar Lee said

I have been, a number of times, propositioned by “conservative” Muslim men. The ones who, like Umar says: “date non-Muslim women strictly for sexual purposes, then go home to marry a good girl from the village” (read his whole post, it’s very interesting, as usual). In fact, a guy tried to grab me in the Amman airport (I am stating this fact with no disrespect meant for the good people of Jordan, whose tremendous hospitality I hope to enjoy again and again) – and it was obvious from his actions that he thought I was readily available, seeing as I looked Western and my hair was uncovered.

It’s a problem, guys. It’s a problem for Muslim marriages, as Umar says, and it’s a problem for women who don’t appreciate being treated like animals, Muslim and non-Muslim alike.

I don’t know what the solution is, but this shit is frightening.

16 thoughts on “To expand on something Umar Lee said

  1. Natalia @

    Its a well known fact that Arab men are highly sexual beings maybe its due to the harsh weather i dont know, but realise this i have been there quite a long time [15 years of childhood] do know they love prey and chase women all day if they had nothing else to do.

    Where i come from[Somalia] we dont have these kind of problems why? because Somali women are known to be fiercely independent, and the somalian tradition is rooted in the separation of both men and women.

    What i mean is that Somali men dont waste their time in running after women at least in the older generations, they are more happy to run away from the house and go to coffee shops to discuss Politics with their friends which leaves the women to do what ever they want.

    In Arab societies the mind is idle and their youth have nothing to do besides chasing women.

  2. I dunno. I’ve never been to Somalia, so I’m going to have to trust you on this. On the other hand, my boyfriend is Arab – and no one in his (large) family preys on women. What happened in Amman, however, was real.

    I don’t like generalizations – although I do generalize about my own home country, Ukraine, pretty frequently. 😉

  3. I think it’s disturbing that “conservative” or “devout” muslim men think it’s ok to proposition non-muslim women for sex.

    Perhaps if they were willing to step-up and be men, they would easily be able to find a good muslim wife and engage in “halal” marital relations.


  4. I think it’s the Muslim way of saying you should wear a niqaab and disappear into someones home and never come out again.
    I know not all Muslims behave this way neither do all Arabs but I hear and witness it so often that it’s not simply a stereotype.
    In my country restaurants cafe’s and bars have started refusing Muslim males entry because they would bother the woman inside.
    Public swimming pools starting to segregate the sexes because of Muslim boys (mostly Turkish/Arab) bothering the female swimmers.
    My sister coming back from a vacation to Egypt also experienced almost constant harassment to the point that she swore never to go back again.
    She was like i’ve seen the Pyramids i’ve seen the early Egyptians now i never have to go back again thank God.

  5. Almost every woman I know comes back from Egypt with at least one weird story – and this is a bleeding shame, because Egypt is a tremendous place, culturally, historically, and beyond. The harassment situation in Egypt is much worse than in Jordan, because while Jordanians may make comments, they don’t touch (which is why what happened at the airport shocked me). But I have heard many reports of women, all kinds of women, being grabbed and/or pinched in Egypt. Two of my friends have had guys expose themselves to them in the street.

    This is very, very sad – because Egypt is a place that everyone should visit, that I want to visit. I can’t wait to see it.

  6. I saw we track down my beloved heroine, Lorena Bobbitt and let her take care of the pervs!

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  8. In my country restaurants cafe’s and bars have started refusing Muslim males entry because they would bother the woman inside.

    Durendal — out of curiosity, which country is that? In my country (the USA) excluding people of a specified religion would probably be illegal.

  9. I think it’s pretty much illegal in most of Europe (Durendal is Western European, I believe), but owners often make their own rules. All they have to say is that “hey this person was causing trouble.”

    Not that I think this sort of thing is right. Excluding Muslims simply on the basis of being Muslim.

    You know, this happens in Muslim countries too. I’ve heard of hijabis being denied entrance to bars, for example, in relatively liberal places like Jordan.

  10. i think this kind of behaviour, whether it takes place in a “muslim” country, or japan, or the usa, or bora bora, is usually a factor of the low regard that men (who indulge in this sort of behaviour) must have for women. the mere fact of being over-sexed does not lead to random acts of molestation towards women.

    it might also be a factor of acceptance, in a particular society or community, of such behaviour — and justified by blaming “loose” or “available” or “seductive” women. when society as a whole explicitly condemns it, it is less likely to happen. family values also contribute to the view men have of women.

    in less *open* communities women not conforming to stereotypical norms of dress/attitude/bahaviour may be seen as “fair game.” and this is not exclusively a muslim country issue. in india, for example, there are numerous examples of such behaviour. this may be exacerbated by the exposure of men in traditional communities to the entertainment industries of more, shall we say, liberal societies. in the absence of a culture of inter-gender socialising, men improvise in their attempts to find sexual partners, with often disastrous results.

  11. I don’t it’s exclusive to Islam at all – specifically Islam as The Religion.

    But, people do use Islam to justify this sort of thing. Most of the time they’re coming from the whole notion of Islam as Culture – but then they’ll often point to some obscure hadith and say… Well, whatever, really.

    It really is disheartening to see a man who treats women like shit, and then tries to make an excuse for it such as “well, I’m a MUSLIM, and in ISLAM, you see…” And then other people, will make (insulting) excuses for it as well: “But he’s a MUSLIM, you should have seen that one coming.”

    It’s a disgrace to all spirituality, frankly. And I say this as someone who considers herself to be fairly religious in her own right.

  12. Those generalizations don’t work. I really dislike the Kuwait is a very Muslim country, and the men don’t harrass women like they do in Egypt or Morocco. It’s not an Arab thing either, being that Kuwait is very Arab.

    The situation is not exclusive to Islam. For example there are lots of white men or hispanic men that chase Black women only to sleep with them. Some of them are bible thumping, card carrying neo-cons. A lof of people have curiosity, based upon racial assumptions but they don’t take us seriously as potential partners. They’d never bring them home to momma. In fact, ask a few girls in the “hood” and you may get the usual account of some middle aged white dude cruising the ethnic neighborhoods trying to pick up some brown girls (black or spanish speaking) by offering money. Me and a few other black women began calling this the Thomas Jefferson phenomena.

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