I saw a friend today, oh boy

I haven’t seen Sasha in 12 years.

She’s a very pretty dyed blonde now, and she has breasts, as do I, but otherwise, little has changed.

The wind is whipping up snow, and I don’t think I will ever forget how she sat in that little wooden chair in a cafe on a street named after the Red Army (which is long gone, just like the time we had together), and blew on her hot chocolate like she used to do when we were children, and made a crack about Khaled’s name.

It’s interesting – that we grew up to be so alike, to like the same things (sex, independence, theological pursuits, horseback-riding, ciggies after a crappy day at work etc.), to live apart from our families, and cut our hair in similar fashion. It feel as though, in some way, there lives my twin on the outskirts of this Great and Terrible City.

And so it is

Just like you said it would be.

Now drop the rest of the fucking charges, and apologize to everyone whose lives you’ve interrupted. Apologize to the people who trusted you. Apologize to that kid who got beat up off campus.

There’s a howling wind here tonight, and I’m wondering if it’ll blow in a Mary Poppins, or just land a house on my head.

Merry Christmas to the Western World.

Things You Don’t Know About Me

Inspired by zuzu.

Four of these are true, one of these is false.

Which one is false?

1. When I was a kid, I wrote fan-mail to Brad Renfro.

2. I once slept with a complete stranger (he was handsome, so that’s allowed) on a trip to Brussels. He was staying at my hotel, but we actually met in the ice cream parlour across the street.

3. My family and I were once nearly murdered on the German border, by a bunch of drunk Polish traders.

4. During my kooky teenage years, I once jumped off the veranda in platform shoes, and ended up with a swollen ankle. I still, to this day, have no idea why I did what I did.

5. I used to be extremely into Ukrainian religious artwork. I used to draw pictures on Christmas themes, using symbols borrowed from Ukraine’s pagan tradition. When I was little, some of my work went on display in one of Ukraine’s most famous monasteries: the Kievo-Pecherskaya Lavra.

What does the death of Turkmenbashi mean for Ukraine?

Some thoughts from leaders, friends, and random passer-bys: 

“Aaaaaaah. No gas no gas no gas no gas no gas no gas.”

“Time to cozy up to Putin.”

“Time to protect our interests, like the U.S. does. As soon as we decide on what those interests are – all the while calling for early elections and watching brawls in the capital’s government building on the evening news.”

“Time to make smarmy speeches about human rights abuses in Turkmenistan, all the while conveniently forgetting that human rights have taken a backseat to gas as early as January 2006.”

“Time to raise prices on all the Afghanistan-made, Turkmen-transported heroin.”

“Who the fuck is Turkmenbashi?”