You know what? I don’t need pants. I’m in Ukraine.

I have a long, warm coat to keep me comfortable for when I am outside. When I get inside, and take off that coat, half the time, I am no longer wearing pants. That’s right. I have begun pairing long tank-tops and tights. I wonder what took me so long, to be honest.

This is something I would never get away with in the States, which makes the experience all the more meaningful. It’s like, “so what if the ice hasn’t been cleaned off the street in a month? So what if I was having a cigarette outside the theater today, and someone set a pile of trash on fire in broad daylight? So what if the Mayor doesn’t even give a crap about the stray dogs overrunning the city? AT LEAST I DON’T NEED TO WEAR PANTS.”

It looks good with a pair of boots, but most importantly, nobody cares. And if they do care, they do so in an appreciative way. I can enjoy a pants-free existence at the movies, I can enjoy a pants-free existence while buying cold medication. I went and lit candles in church today, pants-free beneath my trusty coat.

Suck on that, Western Civilization.

18 thoughts on “You know what? I don’t need pants. I’m in Ukraine.

  1. And imagine, no indignant USian women (such as those who inhabit Feministe) going on about how ALLLLLFULLLLLL tights are, and how they should be BANNINATED, etc

    Ah, I always did like (not!) the clothes police on US blogs.

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Oh, I don’t just own it. I flaunt it.

    I mean, seriously, I don’t mind the clothes police or anything, because I tend to bow down to them anyway when I’m elsewhere – but it does often strike me as crappy that in the States, we just don’t have as much choice when it comes to what we wear.

  3. You clearly lived too far south in the U.S. Get yourself to the upper midwest or the pacific northwest and you’ll totally be fine pantsless in a long coat.

  4. Oh trust me, women in NYC have been rocking the tights-as-pants thing for a while. I even spotted the trend in Denver when I was home over the holidays, and fashion forward is one thing Denver is not!

  5. Wait, are we talking tights as in leggings, or tights as in *spit* pantyhose (I hate that word) here?

    I’m just trying to get a handle on the level of pantslessness you’re on about.

  6. Get it, chilled out? ha ha. I’ve never had anyone say anything when I do it, but maybe it’s because I’ve perfected the glare of death. It’s copyrighted, or I’d show you 😉

  7. lol, Kiev’s not THAT cold. We’re having our worst winter in 25 years, or so I am told, but overall, the winters here are mild when compared to, say, Moscow.

    They’re leggings, but not made of that shiny material. So thick, but not very opaque. Well, the ones I wear, anyway. So it’s medium-grade pantslessness. Not quite Lady GaGa style, but I can live with that.

  8. People in the States have always been more upsettable by the sight of a Ladeez Underwearz. Something to do with the puritanism. Still, when you say, “at a function” I presume you’re not talking about a white tie dinner or something… right?

  9. That sure wouldn’t fly in Amman, although there are some pretty darn short dresses being worn with leggings right now. Glad your legs are enjoying the freedom. 🙂

  10. Here in Chicago I can go out in a long coat and god knows what underneath. Sometimes not pants (and I’m secretly terrified my apt. will burn down while I’m gone and I’ll be stuck, pantsless…) Tights-as-pants or no-pants is a sep. issue. And it’s catching on here in the States. I personally find it disturbing to see a 16 yr. old getting on the bus in a shirt and underwear and boots, but I am sure I disturbed people the way I dressed at that age too. I don’t want to rain on your Ukrainian parade though. I’ve never been to Ukraine, but assuming it’s not so different from Russia, the dress code is noticeably more lax there in my experience. Work it.

  11. You say ‘pants’ and I think of underwear….knickers. So for obvious reasons this blog made me laugh for quite some time. 😛

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