Dave Cullen & Wally Lamb on Columbine

I read Dave Cullen’s Columbine while in Edinburgh this year (yes, that’s what I do on vacation, hang around pubs with a book about some horribly depressing subject, after all the museums close), and came away both impressed with the thorough analysis of the massacre and deeply moved by Cullen’s sensitivity to the subject matter.

It was natural, then, that I would snatch up Wally Lamb’s The Hour I First Believed after spotting it in a bookstore a few weeks later. In this fictional account that sashays back and forth through time, a couple’s lives are irredeemably changed by the Columbine massacre. And then a bunch of other horrible crap happens.

One is a nonfiction account that tries to lay the facts as bare as possible, while the other is a novel that deals with a great deal of issues, both artistic and psychological, but both writers grapple, profoundly and unsettlingly, with the seeming meaningless of the actions of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Cullen looks at the way that psychopaths/sociopaths operate, while Lamb looks at the mythological undercurrents in our struggles with understanding evil.

Lamb has been accused of offering a sugary little pill for the problems we face in our modern lives – from the Columbine massacre to the Iraq war – but I view his novel differently. Yes, the narrator dictates quite a bit to the reader, but that’s kind of the point in this case, isn’t it? Gods, such as Poseidon or the Christian God, do quite a bit of dictating to us, but it’s what we do with their words that is really the difficult part. Lamb seems to be asking his reader – “hey you. What are you going to DO?” And I like that.

I’m tired of the idea that good writing has to be very open-ended in its conclusions. I think the Bible is gorgeously written in places, for example, and it’s not as if the authors were trying to be ambiguous. I think that in a way, Lamb’s forthright prose is much more challenging that all lot of the stuff that’s written to be as disengaged from the reader as possible. Being walloped over the head with Wally Lamb’s hope did not conjure up simple emotions in me. I think that most writers do obvious really poorly, but Lamb is not one of those writers. He’s fun when he’s obvious. And funny. Every once in a while, I want a writer to hold my hand, if they do it gallantly and beautifully.

Is “The Hour I First Believed” a reassuring book? I didn’t think so. I think that in many ways, it’s actually as reassuring as Dave Cullen’s stark, painful work of nonfiction. Lamb has purity of purpose, just like Cullen does when he tackles the enduring myths around the massacre, but it’s not as if he flinches away from the little and big horrors of life, or tells us that we will be able to flinch away ourselves when our time comes. Lamb wants to give his reader hope, but he warns us that hope itself comes at a price that may be a little too much to bear. Even then, it may not even work out for you in the end, as we witness when we examine the fates of some of the more peripheral (but no less interesting) characters.

Even Lamb’s mentions of such seemingly extraneous personages as Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla are part of a great American tapestry that the novel ambitiously weaves. The Civil War corresponds to the Iraq War. Mark Twain losing his daughter finds an echo in… Well, I don’t want to talk about the plot much. Let’s just say that while some people found the book’s vast scope to be wearying, I found it very rich. It’s like a novel inspired by Walt Whitman’s “I contain multitudes…” What could be more American than that?

I think anyone who’s doing any kind of thinking about the Columbine massacre ought to read “Columbine” and “The Hour I First Believed” back-to-back. At the very least, you’ll get a kick out of different, but equally engaging approaches to very similar and troubling questions. And ultimately, what’s chilling and – oddly enough- deeply satisfying about both of these works is the sense of inevitability they inspire.

Quote of the Day – from Kai

“What I’m feeling, at this particular time, at this point in my life, is the familiar recognition that there’s no real home for me in this earthly sphere, only criss-crossed paths across the surface of this spinning planet. It’s often said that life is a journey; all of us are in transition, marching side-by-side from unknown into unknown. I do understand that folks sometimes experience a different feeling of home, of bodily belonging, of sitting still and satiated atop ancestral roots pushed deep into the earth. I’ve had moments, now and then, here and there, where the hunger and the restlessness and the winding road melt from my being and all that’s left is wholeness. Maybe that’s what we’re all after…”

Kai, while guest-blogging at Feministe.

You and me both, love. You and me both.

Monday Music: the summer wine under the pear trees edition

It’s been a good few days.

Padam Padam – Edith Piaf
Dangerous Type – Letters to Cleo
Sleep Together – Garbage
Heaven Coming Down – The Tea Party
The Racing Rats – Editors
Alcohol – Barenaked Ladies
Strangers in the Night – Frank Sinatra
Vopros – Kino
With a Wonder and a Wild Desire – Flogging Molly
For the Boys – the Cardigans

“You’re a vain and shameless man, but hell, I love your voice.”

Speaking of voices I love, and love in general, I think we need a little John Lennon around this site:

You know, I think the man would have liked Ukraine. Him and Yoko both. The socially casual aspects of it in particular. And maybe the pears. My grandfather helped plan the pear tree outside our building, you know. It’s nice that it still grows there. Even the punky little kids who climb it and steal the pears before they even ripen are kinda nice.

Scene from last night: Yura & Tanya’s wedding

This just came out both really posed and really disoriented and sweaty, on account of the heat and the drinks, but we were so happy! And I think this picture captures that.

The groom takes a break outside among whistles of "Yura, you JUST got married, and already..." Too bad I forgot to get a picture with Tanya, who looked gorgeous
The groom takes a break outside among whistles of "Yura, you JUST got married, and already..." Too bad I forgot to get a picture with Tanya, who looked gorgeous

It was a great wedding, with just enough dancing to tear open all your old blisters, and because I ended up getting a ride with Seriy, an old friend of both Yura and me, I didn’t even have to brave the city by myself at 2 a.m.

I was glad to note that few people blubbered. I kind of wanted to. I’m one of those people who always cries at weddings; I cried at my godfather’s, cried at my friends’ wedding in Virgina, and I only just held back the tears for this one, because Tanya’s friends, whom I was seated with, would have thought that was weird (and probably decided I was drunk or something).

I drank vodka with the boys because I had too much champagne in the last few days, and you know, it’s nice to be able to drink it in mixed company without anyone cracking any “alcoholic” jokes (because it’s as if everyone who drinks vodka drinks it to get drunk, which can’t be farther from the truth). It’s also nice to have pickles on hand, because vodka is a drink you take with food (many people don’t realize that). I’m pretty sure that a good time was had by most, there were fire-works and no weirdness, and a couple of men even break-danced in their suits.

I really hope that Yura & Tanya will live together for many decades, with harmony and love and lots of funny pictures (Yura & Tanya are king and queen of funny pictures, as evidenced by Yura’s hard drive). It’s rare that you come across genuinely happy couples, even at our age, and these two have it made. Совет да любовь.

And the one thing that was great about this occasion, aside from the fact that this commitment was being celebrated in front of everybody, was how it was not cloying or artificial. There was no BS about it being “the happiest day” of anyone’s life. The entire thing wasn’t in any way Disneyfied. The toasts were sincere – both practical and good-natured. There was lots of suggestive humour without anyone being sleazy. A relative from Brussels delivered a soliloquy in French. The bouquet fell apart whilst in the process of being thrown, and every unmarried girl, including me, ended up with a white rose.

Also, on a more materialistic weasel-type note – Tanya had a beige dress accented by pearls. That was, in one word, sweet. I must take note. For future, ah, reference.

I am going to a wedding where I don’t even know anyone

Don’t you hate that? I will repeat – don’t you haaaaaaaate that?

I wish I could bring a date – but my designated date is asleep on a couch back in Amman, and everyone in Kiev appears to be “asleep,” “busy” or “washing [their] hair.”

It’s nice to go to weddings in the summer, even if people do poke you in the ribs on those occasions and ask you when it’s going to be “your turn” (not going to happen today, hopefully, hurrah for relative anonymity). And unlike social gatherings in Amman, where I feel, more than anything, like a fly on the wall, there’s bound to be some conversation after a particular round of champagne.

And I am happy for Yura & Tanya. Yura and I used to be… what is that embarrassing word? Oh yeah, an “item,” but then again, Tanya knows and couldn’t give a damn, and it isn’t as though this is one of those upper-to-middle class Anglo-Saxon affairs on the East Coast, where you have to anxiously write Dear Prudence asking for permission to see off two people you know well and care for into marriage, just because you once snogged the groom.

But, social anxiety is social anxiety, no matter how well you package it (I am personally going in a splashy, flowery dress I once gave to my mother, now that I can fit into it again). I don’t like going to gathering where I don’t know anyone, especially if I don’t know if my Americanness is going to be held against me, or else if the groom’s grandma suddenly remembers that I am that “bourgeois tart.”

Maybe I’ll duck out early and sit on the beach with a bottle. The weather certainly calls for it, and it’s not as if you don’t think certain thinky thoughts when your exes start getting hitched. Nothing too depressing or melodramatic, really, none of that “woe iz me, where are my 17 years?” business, but what you do end up thinking about is how you are no longer a child anymore, how there are deadlines to be met and achievements to be achieved, because life is freakin’ finite, and there are only so many hours in the day.

Yes. My friends’ weddings make me think about work. I am a horrible, un-romantic sort of person.

Well, as Konstanin Paustovksy’s professor said once… “Not a single day without a written line.” Not a single day.