A regular old feminist is usually pretty weary of the standard clichés: “all feminists hate men,” “all feminists think sex is rape,” “all feminists wear clown shoes and smell like cow dung,” and so on…
Every once in a while you really do stumble on to folks who believe that, and I quote, “all heterosexual women are rape victims.”
Hokay. Right. So.
I showed the afore-mentioned comments to a friend of mine who was raped a couple of years ago. She’s a writer who is currently compiling research on what she believes to be “dangerous rhetoric” in regards to rape. She asked me to help her out. I dropped her a link (among many other links).
Here’s what she had to say:
“Sorry…. no. Don’t tell me that my current relationship is anything like the terror I suffered when I was raped. Don’t presume to speak for me and my experience. Actually, shut the ^^^^ up.
As humans, we are different. We all have different experiences and needs. You aren’t cool with heterosexual intercourse? Fine by me. Aren’t cool with any penetration whatsoever? Fine by me. Presuming to tell me who I am? Go to hell.”
My friend wished to remain anonymous, but she did allow me to quote her on this blog, and I thank her for that.
As a woman, I do not like being treated like a wee wittle child who just doesn’t know what’s good for her. By anyone. Even *gasp* other women.
Stuff like this is incredibly patronizing and unfortunate. I wish I didn’t feel the need to acknowledge it. However, I still think it’s important to challenge it.
Anyway, Plain(s)feminist has a different, and much more cerebral response. Check it.