Shorter danaseilhan: “Sexual assault and harrassment are bad things. Unless they happen to a mouthy stripper.”

This LJ user recently showed up on a Pandagon thread of doom with a few things to say about Renegade Evolution’s bad day at work (for the sake of context: Ren Ev is a stripper who cut a performance short when the drunk rednecks who hired her became dangerously aggressive – not to mention the insults they were hurling – by the way, this happened last year… And people seem to be obsessed with the issue nonetheless):

…And the fact still remains that it’s easier to rape you if you’ve already appealed to a guy’s libido and you have fewer clothes between you and him. Above and beyond the oppression inherent in participating in an industry that says to men, Here I am all wrapped up for you as a commodity because YOU ARE ENTITLED TO IT.

And I don’t care what she feels. I could feel that the earth is flat and you guys would laugh at me. Deservedly so. One’s personal feelings do not change political facts.

I wasn’t going to bother commenting on this particularly egregious case of rectal-cranial inversion, until I heard that this lovely lady was still defending her position elsewhere. And something inside me died.

Behold:

I know what that’s about and it is a really tough thing to clarify. On the one hand, men are moral agents and responsible for their behavior unless they are insane or senile. On the other hand, it is one thing to be assaulted in the daily course of an ordinary life–and here I mean even a life that a guy would count as ordinary, which may or may not include the occasional bar hop or frat party; it’s another to take on a line of work in which sexuality is inherent, go running around to the homes of total strangers in a very misogynistic culture and expect that nothing will ever happen. It’s still their fault… but doing something like that is like playing Russian Roulette with a sentient gun. [emphasis mine]

So. Dana believes that there is such a thing as an “ordinary life” and appoints herself as arbitrator of what an “ordinary life” is all about. She allows a woman some leeway if she occasionally finds herself in a bar or at a frat party (but only occasionally!) – but a line of work in which “sexuality is inherent”? Tough titties, Gwyneth Paltrow (she’s done nude scenes!). Tough titties, Gisele Bundchen (she poses!!! In lingerie!!!). Tough titties, belly-dancing instructors of the world (this one is pretty self-explanatory, no?).

Dana’s unfortunate condition (the afore-mentioned rectal-cranial inversion) does not allow her to see how sexuality and the workplace and, for that matter, life, intersect.

The examples I just listed may be on the periphery – but let’s take a closer look at women, and men for that matter, conduct themselves in the world. The truth is, if you get down to it – even wearing a full niqab does not de-sexualize a woman. Similarly, the Tuareg men who veil their faces are considered mysterious and hot by many women outside their own culture. Sexuality, you see, is part of being human. The fact that sexuality has been abused, twisted, and used against people does not negate its existence in everyday life. It’s something that we all share. The tradition of beating up on strippers, prostitutes, and other people who make money off their bodies is nothing new – because we cling on for dear life to the idea that sexuality can be compartmentalized and exhibited solely by “those people.” That, next to them, we are not sexualized, that we (and by “we” I refer to all people who have never done sex-work) are better, cleaner, purer. Which is bullshit, but it’s bullshit that allows people like our friend Dana to sleep at night.

Of course, she doesn’t stop there: visiting the homes of total strangers is also totally NOT OK. You know who she sounds like right now? – Like the “uncovered meat” cleric who proposed that women who do not veil themselves are complicit in rape and assault. In the cleric’s case, his issue was hijab. In Dana’s case, it’s shameless hussies who go wherever they please. I’m sure that Dana would have similar things to say about, for example, a college student who went into a male friend’s dorm room to have a couple of beers and shoot the shit and wound up being groped… right? Except, oh, wait, she actually said something interesting in her previous paragraph:

I don’t know. It still sounds blaming, and I never would have said it had it been a friend of mine, or at least someone who has never pulled the shit RenEv has pulled. But it’s what I think anyway, and it’s why I wouldn’t take on sex work if I were starving. There are enough panhandlers in the University area during daylight hours in crowded public places that I think I’d just swallow my pride and join them.

Oh, Oh, I get it! You won’t be blamed for getting raped or assaulted if you’re a friend of Dana’s! Or, if you do and say things that she approves us. Right-o (I believe in the Pandagon thread, Dana was particularly aggrieved by the fact that following her bad day at work, Renegade Evolution did not a) Sob on Dana’s shoulder, or on the shoulders of people like Dana, b) Renounce her previous way of life, rend her clothes, cover her hair with ashes, and, in general, act like a Biblical Jezebel for whom some wise patriarch – or the nearest stand-in – has illuminated the error of her ways).

While you’re at it, please observe Dana’s astonishingly clueless remarks regarding starvation, and panhandling. Panhandlers get assaulted. A LOT. Your pride wouldn’t be the only thing at stake if you were living on the street.

Also, she sounds like she’s never starved for a day in your life.

I know, I know, neither have I, thank the good Lord. But I’ve known people… People who will tell you that after a few days on the street, a strip-club is their idea of heaven. Hell, these same people prefer stripping to, say, working in a MacDonald’s. Or, indeed, taking night classes and trying to climb some office ladder. And hey, acknowledging their existence is not tantamount to denying the existence of people who have been literally forced into the trade. It’s not a zero-sum game. Making it such is a tactic beloved by fundamentalists and zealots.

And on top of that to then insult people who say that that kind of job is degrading to women in general–well, it IS. Like I think I said in the comment, it gives the message of, “Hey, I’ve turned myself into a commodity JUST FOR YOU because you’re entitled to it!”, and how is that a positive, empowering message? You know this; I’m preaching to the choir. For her to take on a job she doesn’t need to take that just bolsters the message that women are things to buy, then to be insulting to those of us who agitate against just that sort of exploitation of women, and then to expect sympathy (which she had, even from me, but how brazen…) when it predictably blows up in her face? Jesus.

The only reason why the world continues to treat sex-workers as subhuman has to do with the fact that people such as Dana have continuously monopolized the discourse. But hey, don’t blame her! She’s not part of the problem! She’s telling it like it is! Rectal-cranial inversion is a serious disease! Don’t make fun of it!

She wants women to focus on “empowering” choices – as long as she has pre-approved them, that is. And, as long as those woman don’t get uppity and “brazen.”

Oh, and I do hate to dignify certain sexist assumptions to the tune of “but what will you future husband think, young lady!” – But, this needs to be mentioned: Renegade Evolution is happily married. I’ve interviewed her husband.

Of course, Dana Seilhan also refers to herself as a feminist. This is her right. I know plenty of conservative Christian and Muslim women who also describe themselves as feminist – even if most of the ideas are not ones that I, as a different sort of feminist, is not inclined to agree with.

However, I do think that certain modes of feminist thought ought to be challenged. Dana’s mode in particular is troubling. So I will refer to her as a fundamentalist first, and feminist second. That is what she ultimately represents to me.

53 thoughts on “Shorter danaseilhan: “Sexual assault and harrassment are bad things. Unless they happen to a mouthy stripper.”

  1. This is an excellent deconstruction, Natasha. I hope that Dana’s particular blind spot in this area is one she eventually gets over, although there are plenty of people who feel the same way. God forbid sexual assault or violence happen to us or to somebody we love, but I hope that if it does we blame the criminal, not the victim.

    As a side note, my oldest daughter has been homeless for a couple years now, and has been assaulted more than once. She’s thought about stripping as a way out, and even though I might not want that for her, I also don’t want her living on the streets. It’s one of the greyest of grey areas, perhaps.

  2. jesus fucking christ. i’m sorry; this is someone calling herself a -radical feminist?- a feminist? a human? this is someone ginmar is enlisting in her War Against Sexism? what. the fuck.

  3. I’m going to be real honest here,

    it’s no wonder that A Ukrainian is defending a stripper on this one.

    Sorry. the truth hurts.

  4. Dude, what the hell was that about?

    Wait, were, you like, trying to make me feel bad? For defending a stripper and being Ukrainian at the same time?

    Because… What? Ukrainians can’t defend strippers?

    Oh wait, I get it – you’re a graduate of the All Ukrainians Are Subhuman Sluts school – the All Strippers Are Subhuman Sluts department was probably right down the hall – am I right or am I right?

    Have you ever met a Ukrainian stripper? Did your head explode from sheer outrage?

    If you haven’t – let’s hope that you do.

  5. as per Dana whosis: i looked at some of her stuff. basically she’s Jean Teasdale, with a soupcon of Church Lady. how she got from there to “radical feminist, ginmar style” is probably worth deeper analysis, but not by me. tired and cranky.

  6. …god, and i missed the “I’d rather starve!” crap. she’s big with the hypotheticals, isn’t she? also how she -would- feel if she’d been assaulted. she can fuck right the fuck off.

    and if ginmar hasn’t smacked her down for any of this (what “if,”) she forfeits whatever vestigial “damn you sexist enablers anyway for not smiting the terrible company you keep, just because they’re nice to -you-!” shit from now through eternity.

  7. …god, and i missed the “I’d rather starve!” crap. she’s big with the hypotheticals, isn’t she? also how she -would- feel if she’d been assaulted. she can fuck right the fuck off.

    and if ginmar hasn’t smacked her down for any of this (what “if,”) she forfeits whatever vestigial “damn you sexist enablers anyway for not smiting the terrible company you keep, just because they’re nice to -you-!” shit from now through eternity.

  8. and yeah, I get it: she said it because she’s pissed at RE as a person. understood. god knows I’ve not always restrained myself from cheap shots at ginmar that i wouldn’t have employed otherwise, just because i can’t stand her ass.

    that’s not the issue. the issue is, why it even occurred to her, a “feminist,” that this makes any sense in the fucking first place. i actually blame her less for the shitty personalized “well, I don’t like you, so I’m GLAD something shitty happened to you, you deserve bad things” than for trying to rationalize it with whatever tortuous “feminist” logic about catering to men she’s trying, which is so, so blatantly your classic VERY patriarchal “swoon, fallen women! a fate worse than death!” it’s not even funny.

    well that and of course, whatever it is she thinks RE has said to have merited such punishment, obviously, our mileage varies just a -tad.-

    but that she sits by placidly and admires ginmar uncritically, well…yeah, several tons of salt, there.

    lots of Casper Milquetoasts who get off vicariously on the kind of rage ginmar indulges in; plus, it’s all wrapped up and rationalized with some supposed Cause, you know, so it’s okay.

  9. Sorry. the truth hurts.

    Yeah, we know the truth that you’re a bigoted shitface sucks a whole lot in the scheme of things, but, in the end, that’s yours to deal with, meep.

  10. >>which she had, even from me, but how brazen…

    omg, she actually said -brazen.- you can’t parody this shit. brazen HUSSY? brazen SHAMELESS hussy.

    and she didn’t fucking agitate for your sympathy, you loser; she wrote about what happened to her, period, full stop. unlike some people, she doesn’t use such things as an excuse for randomly taking out her tsuris on any stranger who passes by, and then retcon like crazy until everyone buys that said hapless scapegoat -deserved- it for some reason.

    no, some of you stopped by and were all like, “wow, even you don’t deserve something -that- terrible. p.s. i don’t want to say ‘i told you so,’ but well, i told you so; are you ready to come begging for our forgiveness now? we might deign to tolerate you if you act more broken and pathetic, like we know you must be.”

    and she said “thank you” to the more sincere comments, and “piss off” to the suckier ones, and that was that.

    and now, to use a familiar phrase: you want a COOKIE, do you, for feeling the slightest twinge of what’s just fucking -basic- HUMAN 101, let alone feminist 101 in the damn first place? Get stuffed.

  11. which all begs the question – to whom does a woman’s sexuality belong?

    does it belong to Class Patriarch, to buy and sell and use and abuse?

    does it belong to Class Woman, to be monitored and measured and “used responsibly”, or doled out according to some kind of complicated intercourse algorithm, and held accountable to All Women Everywhere?

    or does it belong to the individual woman, to share or keep, or fling around like Janie Intercourse-seed, or hoard or commodify or celebrate as she chooses?

  12. to me, the answer to that one is obvious enough that i don’t feel any more need to debate it anymore.

    what i care about is the crap that people pull in the name of “your sexuality is not yours.” it’d be great if they understand that that’s what they’re doing, but bottom line is that they stop shaming and scapegoating other people. their ideology is not enough of an excuse for them to do that.

  13. Woo, racism and sexism!

    Karma? That kind of attitude, I might expect some of the bad variety to come knocking at the door.

  14. Natalia,
    Awesome post. Just – really well done.

    I love how people who have never actually been in someone else’s situation love to proclaim on what they themselves would have done, were they actually there. I have no way of knowing what I would do if I were starving or homeless, but I imagine I would do whatever I needed to do to ensure my kid’s survival and my own survival.

  15. I’m going to be real honest here,

    it’s no wonder that A Ukrainian is defending a stripper on this one.

    Sorry. the truth hurts.

    Yup…..Karma for the win and the Asshat Bigot World Championship ring.

    Takes a lot of talent to compress all that bullshit into that one tiny little pill.

    And as for Dana and her little meltdown: +5 for you, Natalia, on what you said. I was going to say the same thing, but you beat me to it and said it so much better. 🙂

    First visit to this blog, but won’t be the last.

    Anthony

  16. I usually don’t get so snarky with people. People have gotten snarky like that with me, and it always hurt.

    And it makes me feel bad, to write about someone this way.

    But I wanted to see if Dana would clarify her positin (hence a trip to Ginmar’s LJ) – and I saw, and holy cow, she refuses to believe that *anything*she said was in any way wrong or demeaning.

    I like Renegade. But I also don’t think that you *have* to like her to see how that sort of thing – both the behaviour of the infamous rednecks (for the record, I’ve lived in the South for 12 years – and believe there are good ol’ boys, and there are rednecks – the former were my friends and neighbours, the latter were the sort who’d tell me to “go back to Russia”), and comments ultimately justifying said behaviour – are DESPICABLE to the core.

  17. yeah, at best she’s kind of all, “I’m sorry if you misinterpreted my words.” and is now fumbling for various ways of how to say the same damn horrid shit in somehow less “offensive” ways. it’s the basic sentiment that’s the problem, lady, not the semantics.

  18. I’m amazed how many men who use the services of sex workers of various kinds look down their nose at the same sex workers (this happens with women vis a vis other women, but to a much lesser extent). I’d like to blame simple misogyny, but I feel like something else is going on here. At any rate, if you get hired to shake your ass for a group of people, that’s all you’re required to provide, sex is a separate issue. Arguing that such a woman is asking to get assaulted is somewhat like saying a friendly sales woman was asking to be assaulted because she was personable while talking up the car she was trying to sell; sure the transaction didn’t include sex but dammit, the guy was getting horny just thinking about it!

    I hate to quibble but I, while agreeing with the point of this post, have to take issue with the “rednecks vs. good ol’ boys” dichotomy you’re discussing. It honestly comes off a bit like when, well, rednecks I know say things like “Not all Jews are kykes; when I say kyke I just mean a bad one.” I’m sure you don’t mean it that way but it’s kind of what I hear. I come from a “redneck” background and it’s one really raw spot I have regarding friends of mine who are really bright, progressive, great people but have this classist blind spot where they feel free to mock and insult working-class and poor white people in a way they wouldn’t dream of doing to others.

    Anyway, spot on with the rest and thanks for quoting me on CiF.

  19. -anticipates- “a car is not a person! you’re objectifying her like she was a car! zomg! you’re saying womens’ bodies are like cars!”

    okay then, even more of an analogy, perhaps: any sort of stage performer. A stand-up comedian who tells dirty jokes, maybe even with a sexist tinge. Hey, she’s in a bar full of drunken rowdy guys, saying those things; what’d she expect? Or, you know. party clown. Goes to strangers’ houses; wears provocative, attention-getting costumes, acts outlandishly; surely anything goes? Singing telegram (does anyone still actually do this?)

    Or, alternately: a “straight” masseuse, who is being paid to use her hands on strangers’ near naked bodies, to make them feel good. Just not to bring them to orgasm. And? Hey, the guy’s -naked- except for a towel, what’d she expect?

    Oh, what’s that you say? That wasn’t on the menu? She’s a member of a legitimate profession, has rights and protections, could sue for assault? HOW THE FUCK ABOUT THAT.

    –but, no, see, the government in its infinite wisdoms has decided that certain transactions are not legal; which is related to, although not synonymous, with society having decided in its infinite wisdoms that appealing to mens’ baser instincts UNLEASHES THE BEAST (hey, it was the same argument all those fucking white supremacist/MRA trolls were making wrt the Duke case, early on: what’d she expect?) and it’s really up to women to control that. p.s. sex is dirty. Leaves one “morally tainted,” to use a phrase I read…somewhere. (hi, Dana! how’s it going?)

    none of which has anything at all to do with the attitude that “you can’t rape a whore,” and thus, to the extremely high level of assault in the business. Of course.

  20. Youre just a wannabe stripper with a degree. Don’t know if your friends the duke lacrosse boys did rape anyone, but if they had it should have been you instead of that black girl. I wasn’t there or know the facts but if it happened the way she said it did, you deserved it more.

    Black women have been thru a a lot. What thehell did Ukrainians ever do for anyone except kill Jews?

  21. Karma:

    Go fuck yourself with a tire iron, you hateful piece of shit.

    How’s that? Oh, what have Ukarainians been through?

    Try Stalin, asswipe.

    And I am a stripper, with a degree, from Duke. And no one deserves to be raped, fuckhead.

  22. Hi Nat & Nat’s Friends.

    I always read this blog, I don’t usually comment but after seeing someone say that Nat deserves to be raped because of Duke lacrosse, I had to come out of the shadows for just a minute.

    A long time ago I started writing Nat about lacrosse and my own thoughts on it.

    I was raped by a white man (no, I’m not white). Duke lacrosse disturbingly reminded me of the way my own case was handled minus the obvious media attention. I’m not going to go into details here, but Nat was made aware of them.

    I had to walk away from that case with everything I had ever believed in regarding the justice system completely broken. I didn’t think the justice system was perfect to begin with but I never realized just how bad it was until I experienced it.

    These things are not what I normally talk about, and part of the reason has to do with them being used and abused by other people: bigots, racists and even people who think they are trying to help. I did trust Nat with this information because ultimately she is a friend; even if we don’t agree on evertyhing 100%.

    Nat’s a journalist and loves a good story, but she never brought up my name or my experience with anyone and she knows I am grateful for that. She has taken hate from everyone on the issue and it’s time to let it be.

    Anyone who thinks she “deserves” anything for any reason can go to hell.

    Or get fucked with a tire iron, as the person above me put it.

    That’s all I’m going to say.

  23. LAL!!!!!! I miss you. 😦

    Please e-mail me sometime. *kiss kiss*

    Karma, pretty much the only reason I’m leaving your comment up here has to do with the fact that the last time I discussed your particular brand of bigotry, some folks said, “people couldn’t possibly say such things!” Well, you’re proving them wrong. Good on you.

    Now go pleasure yourself with a tire iron. Seriously.

    Oh, and I deserve it “more”? So the stripper in that case pretty much deserved it too, only less so? Ren Ev here has a degree – does that mess with your universe somehow? Has your head exploded from the cognitive dissonance yet?

    Good Lord, you are a pathetic waste of oxygen.

    I dunno. People have their opinions and theories on Duke Lacrosse, and I’m always listening, or trying to, anyway. I’m not claiming I’m perfect or have nothing to learn. But this crap? In the immortal words of the Cameron Crazies: Go to hell, Karma. Go to hell.

  24. Oh, and Dave, I’m sorry about the whole redneck thing. I know that this word has been lobbed as an insult against people. I also know people who call themselves rednecks and are damn proud – and no, they’re not the ones who said “go back to Russia,” etc. There’s lots to think about here.

  25. Awesome post Natalia. It was your original post on Ren’s “bad day at work” that introduced me to her blog which is now on my reading list. Also, thank you for the phrase “rectal-cranial inversion” which I plan on shamelessly borrowing as the occasion demands.

    As for the topic, someone above said it best, sexuality either belongs to the individual or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t, then how much does it matter whether it belings to the patriarchy or the matriarchy? Either way something is taken from us.

  26. Hey, “karma,” you waste of space, this Jew does not wish to belong to any club that would have you as a member. Take that tire iron and shove it up your urethra, better yet. There, did that satisfy your troll jones for the day? Seriously, aren’t you glad there are people who’ll fulfill these needs for you for free, so you don’t have to dial the 900 “Please Beat My Ass” number and bankroll one of those dirty dirty sex workers? God bless the motherfucking Internets. Gah.

  27. Gosh Natalia, I thought I’d been hard on you… 🙂 Sorry if I was. The critic in me.

    This is off point, but did I hear you on BBC last week?

  28. Hey, Karma.

    Just so you know, there is a position opening up in the rat pest that has infested my kitchen cabinets as of late, since my super brought in an exterminator. Perhaps you would like to apply. You have all the qualifications, and I believe you actually have more diseases (like rank stupidity, racism, and troglodytia) than the last fillers of the “Pests of my Kitchen” position. Let’s discuss your infestation of my kitchen some time!

  29. Ahhh….get your bigotry right, Karma.

    I thought that you believed that the Duke lacrosse team members were totally innocent and that the girl just made it up to hate on all White people??

    Otherwise…get lost. In the bottom of a sewage tank. It would actually be an improvement for you.

    And Ren IS a stripper with a degree….maybe you were trying to diss Natalia?? Whatever.

    Anthony

  30. First, well written post, and thank you for speaking what ought to be self-evident but apparently rarely is, among those who claim to oppose systematized sexual exploitation through vitriolic exhortations directed chiefly at women in the sex trade (whether they got there through choice, force, or some gray place between, standard caveat, blah blah blah).

    Second, I am reminded of why I haven’t participated in much online dialogue on sex trade issues for any reason for months now, and why I may never again, because I could cut and paste portions of this sad story, and the reactions to same, into a page from nearly any day of nearly any other calendar year, past or future, and it would fit perfectly there, because it’s always been like this, and it’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?

    I’m recalibrating for now, figuring out how best to put to good political and/or literary use my specific experiences (personal and of the “material witness” variety) without making myself suicidal in the process. I’ll come back here when I need to be reminded of why it matters, and most of the time, I’ll leave without further comment, because most of what I have to do (hearing in my head now the “what I must engage” stanzas from the Adrienne Rich poem, North American Time) must be done in solitude, no matter how deeply grateful I may be that there are others out (t)here who get it.

    As for the asinine boyz who were messing with Ren, may they be collectively stalked by the apparition of Aileen Wuornos, if not by one or another of her surviving counterparts.

  31. I’m just baffled by Dana’s viewpoint.

    I am not fond of the sex industry in any way, shape or form. I wish it didn’t exist and think the world would be a happier place without it.

    However, I still think that all sex workers have the right to live their lives both professionally and personally without molestation and attack and if these events occur, to prosecute the perpetrator to the fullest extent of the law.

    My brain has not exploded. It is possible to have both these opinions.

  32. What happened with Ukraine? Tons of stuff, it is always part of Russia, they was in CCCR, then they had famine, purges of 1937, then next was June 1941 invasion, just really terrible of course. Next is Soviet liberation, but Banda’s Fascists was around for a logn time, NKVD finished them of course. Then Stalin died and finally we get Brezhnex- who was from the Ukrainian Party of the CPSU, like that. What happen next?
    Crazy Yeltsin made the New Union Treaty and in 1991 Ukraine become indendent. Then Americans came, they just insult with their money, buy all womens, slave traffikcers move in, Ukraine is looted of its female popluation, it’s the worst crimes since Nazis, total HUMILIATION.
    Next, we get thieves and liars of the Orange Revolution working with CIA, this is Julia Timoshenka and Victor Yushenka, they are RADA and out to steal everything (like Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan), and they refuse to pay GAZPROM so Russia can not give oil and gas for free. Next… Russians in the east getting treat same like dogs and insult (like Muhajirs in Pakistan), then one man, this is Victor Yanokovich stands up for the poor persons and peasants of the regions and tells like this, “Hey, America, take ure dollars and go home, we don’t want NATO, we are borthers and sisters of Russia.”
    Then people in Odessa had a revolution, this was 1 year back, they burned NATO ships cos RADA sold Ukraine to America, Ukrainian people don’t want also. Even Tartars of Crimea joined this revolution. Then the new game is to put big missiles in Ukraine, this is to intimidate Russia, no one knows why they want to do this also, America is never easy to understand. Then President Putin told that he will assist for Ukraine and stop NATO steal Ukraine, this is excellent cos i love Russia, support for Russia, interest in Russia and was in Russia also of course, like that.
    APG, is support for EDINIYAA RASSIYYA!
    VIVA RODINA!
    HURRAAH RASSIYYA- DARUZHBA TOVARITCH PAKISTANI!

  33. Скажите, пожалуйста, дорогой друг, я извиняюсь, я вероотступником девочка из Пакистана. утра я один, я ничего, у меня нет друзей, все оставить меня, оскорблять меня, но я ничего не сделали неправильно. Пожалуйста, я прошу вас очень скромно, я хочу вернуться к г-ну Али Eteraz блоге сайта, вы можете задать ему вопрос, могу ли я вернуться.
    Я посылаю это обратиться за помощью щедрых и добрых русских людей.
    Мне очень жаль беспокоить вас, пожалуйста, простите, и, пожалуйста, прости меня также.
    goodbybe.

  34. I’ll e-mail Eteraz, APG. I should tell you though, that I saw the instance wherein you were banned from his blog, and I think he wasn’t just looking out for himself there, he was looking out for you as well.

  35. I’ve spoken to Ali, and he will not reverse his decision. He has deleted the offensive comments made about you on his blog. But, it also really doesn’t seem as though participation there was a good thing for you. It looked as though it was hurting you. This is why that decision was made, and this is why it remains in place.

  36. no, cos i am not supposed to be on me own, just in me room, it’s boring, the loneliness is crushing me, i trying to reach out, to engage, to interact, no just shut down, but they just not give me the chance.
    i getting sick cos i am isolated, just alone, i can not even leave to go no place, it’s not safe here for me, i just alone in this empty villa, i am here in rehab after me family kicked me out in Nov 07.
    What’s good for me then? Just total isolation, no friends, no comunication, no ideas, just trapped in this villa with nothing to do, all we got is me aunt and uncle who is working all day and 2 servants who ignore me, i got nothing, and i getting more and more depressed and i try to find a way out, they just slam the door shut.
    i going to find me own way out then.

  37. I don’t doubt that you are in a lonely place right now. But not every form of interaction is a good solution to loneliness. If you’re not careful, you can end up hurting yourself even further.

    I’d advise you to look for web-forums for people with severe family problems. Maybe a child abuse survivors forum could really help. It could be a start.

    I found this collection of links, for example. It might be helpful, it might not be helpful. I do hope you get better.

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