Shorter Cath Elliott & Co.:

“You can be a deviant, dearie. Just not where I can see it.”

On a less snarky note: do I believe that people can be triggered by BDSM posts? Absolutely, I do. But this alone does not mean that BDSM can only be talked about in disparaging terms on the various feminist sites out there. Plenty of stuff on feminist sites brings up some rather horrific images for me, and not all of it comes with a warning either. Doesn’t mean I get to tell the authors to STFU.

And you know what, perhaps women want to talk about their BDSM experiences in a feminist context because, guess what, the assumption that one cannot enjoy BDSM or else that one could not possibly call oneself a feminist while practicing BDSM is something they wish to challenge?

Personally, I’m tired of the “SHUT UP about X being empowerfulizing” argument that gets thrown around, both in relation to sex and other matters, just as I am tired of the bloody hierarchies and such. The “SHUT UP” thing rarely addresses the actual substance of any given argument or related experience. It’s the death of nuance. I can’t live without nuance.

It’s like saying, “you know, I really rather love The Death of Ivan Ilyich. It’s really too bad that the author was so horribly sexist, but this passage, for example, on page…”

And hearing in response something like, “SHUT UP! You just loooove that sexist bastard Leo Tolstoy, don’t you? How TYPICAL! He hated women. HATED WOMEN. And you love him because you’re a male-identified sparklepony sellout idiot! Hah!”

– “But… no. That’s not what I said at all. I think it’s truly unfortunate how misogyny permeated the work of great writers such as Tolstoy. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t look at this book and take something out of it, like, for example…”

– “SHUT UP! He called death a ‘She’! That’s all I need to know! You love misogyny!”

– “Actually, it was ‘It’ in the original Russian. Anyway, as I was saying…

– “Misogyny! You love it!”

– “But you’re being unreasonable…”

– “WHAT? You said women are unreasonable?”

– “Um, OK. Screw this.”

– “Get back here! I’ll bite your legs off!”

etc.

5 thoughts on “Shorter Cath Elliott & Co.:

  1. Ohhhh I know that feeling, one blog I read said they were happy cos Vonegut and Updike were dead cos they were sexist you know! Yea, I do know that and it’d be quite nice to talk to em about it,but to quote Depeche Mode: People are people.

  2. Great post. Isn’t it part of BEING a feminist to be empowered / self-conscious enough to say / do what you like? Porno, lipstick, BDSM, cooking? There’s a big difference between being a door-mat for life, and choosing to have your sex with chocolate and caramel and sprinkles on top of the plain vanilla…

  3. Feminism is an ideology, they can say what they want, whoever wins & etc.

    “Yea, I do know that and it’d be quite nice to talk to em about it,but to quote Depeche Mode: People are people.”

    I use to hang with that crowd, Basildon, Westcliff-on-Sea

    http://www.discogs.com/viewimages?release=250203

    The ‘x’ in Alison Moyet’s name was because I misread the telegram from the publisher.

    The lack of an umlaut in mine, maybe there was a shortage that week.

  4. On a less snarky note: do I believe that people can be triggered by BDSM posts? Absolutely, I do. But this alone does not mean that BDSM can only be talked about in disparaging terms on the various feminist sites out there.

    (not to bring up a really old topic or anything)

    First point: surely talking about BDSM is equally triggering whether it’s in disparaging terms or in glowing terms.

    Second point: it’s probably completely possible to be triggered by a glass of milk, if one happened to be present on the table at the time when bad stuff happened. Does this mean we stop talking about glasses of milk?

    I’m sure anything can be triggering, but surely that applies whatever your opinion of that particular thing. So I find it a bit rich for someone who writes quite a bit about porn, BDSM, and so on, in disparaging terms, to suddenly be triggered when someone writes about all that in not so disparaging terms (not even glowing, I mean, there’s saying you like something and then there’s claiming it cures cancer and everyone should do it – two quite different things).

    Also, to be honest, I think they were bullying the crap out of Laura, which is the only reason I said anything at all as I tend to stay out of these things.

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