I am…er…transfixed.
Wait, did I say “playing Prince of Persia”?
I meant reading Jameson on Jameson: Conversations on Cultural Marxism. What did you think I meant? What, you people like me participate in mass entertainment culture? A mass entertainment culture with Orientalist elements? And write about it? Using our own names? While struggling to maintain the veneer of genuine intellectual engagement with the, uh… the… uh…
What do the kids intellectually engage with nowadays? Genuinely, I mean.
Anyway, I’m just seeing if you’re paying attention.
This game is so sweet – I can taste it in the back of my throat. And, you know, a lot still needs to be said about the exaggerated portrayals of women in the video game ‘verse – but it’s good to remember that fellas like my Prince here are pretty exaggerated as well, and that is sort of endearing to me at the moment. I’ll admit it, I’m not above ogling game characters. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s a work of art. It be pweety.
Perhaps there is a lesson in the fact that Boyfriend doesn’t immediately drop and do a hundred push-ups upon watching me spend my entire day with the Prince. Perhaps it is a grim one.
Yeah. So. Be back. Er. Whenever.
Natalia A. 
natalia – “pwetty” is a bad justification for enjoying a morally dubious game. i must wonder what’s so special about gaming overall, that people are so attracted to it.
Cranky, why did you think that I am “justifying” anything? Art and entertainment can be complicated. We can have nuanced responses to them.
You don’t see me being outraged over some of the elements of the new “Command & Conquer: Red Alert” do you? (If you have no idea as to wtf I’m talking about, Google is your friend).
Other people in my position do, but we don’t all think the same, you know.
I happen to think that the gaming world lends itself to exaggeration – and that it can be both a good and bad thing.
And you know what, gaming is great. Try it sometime. It might improve your personality.
well, i don’t see anything wrong with gaming… i figure that everyone needs a fantasy life…
course… i’m a geek.. and I suck at games… whether nintendo, xBox and you can forget about the RPG stuff… i don’t want to dedicate that much time to staring at a screen when it isn’t to accomplish something especially when i don’t watch tv at all…
though i’d be curious about the psyche behind choosing 2D online created character, and the intrinsics of human dissatisfaction with reality, in perception of whatever blah blah … well it sounded like it might go somewhere, but really, it was just me trying to see if i could yank your chain on that last bit, but well… it’s sunday… it’s a slow brain day… being sunday…
hope you and prince persia 2D dark and handsome have a festive time of it!
@Cranky Liberal — ” … a morally dubious game.”
Why would “Prince of Persia” be morally dubious? I know nothing about gaming and especially nothing about “Prince of Persia,” but if this particular game were morally dubious, Natalia would probably indicate as much.
If fantasy and exaggeration themselves are morally dubious, then even board games like “Monopoly” are suspect.
Or, CL, are you actually showing a sense of humor and using “morally dubious” satirically?
Oh, James, I am TOTALLY dissatisfied with reality at this point in my life. I’m not even afraid to admit it anymore. Reality, I hate you. I wish I could beat you up at recess. For serious.
Of course, I enjoyed gaming before this recent spat I’ve been having with reality. I think it can provide a fun and instructive challenge. One of the great things about fantasy worlds is that they force you to think outside the box.
Poeschl, I seriously doubt CL was being humorous. I think you’re being far too generous.
I just started reading your blog from a link from something idk. But yeah, I’m liking what I’m reading so far.
Is this the new one with cellshading graphics that looks like, 2d, but isn’t?
I’m yet to play.
Thanks! I’m not sure about the graphics, am not an expert. 🙂
natalia… you know, if you want to really have fun… you could make it your business to mess with everyone else’s reality…:D
Though I’m in a nice little Canadian City where denial rules, and false pretense is a way of life… so when i put my fingers up and make a little box – looking through it – there is not much difference than reality TV – well except that in life there is no script, and you don’t get paid to be beautiful.
Still though… since I’m horrendous at any and all video games, no matter what, I find messing with other people’s reality, is just like playing an RPG in theory 🙂
well… except I can’t make some people disappear… now wouldn’t that be a cool power to have?
I think I already do that! It’s called “refusing to remain calm and collected when some guy decides to harass me on the street in Jordan.” Of course, I am not alone. 🙂
um… that sort of sounds like you reacting to someone else messing with your reality… besides that isn’t what I meant…
k, i’ll give you a James example:
sitting in a pub, eating dinner, relaxing, listening to a few other people (fool enough to sit at the bar like me) talk about oh this event on reality TV, or the economy, or global warming, and then – of course i am a bit of a wiki (so it’s unfair from the start) – say , “you all know that they’re actors paid to do that, and have casting calls right?” just so i can see them all blink and watch their worlds shrivel up and die…
Or…
watching the big shots use their credit cards and make a random comment to a pal sitting at the bar, and say, “have you noticed that everyone who doesn’t actually have any money uses their credit cards to pay for a beer they can’t afford, while driving a car owned by a finance company to go home to a house owned by the bank?”
i meant stuff like that 😀 but then… i’m a $***-disturber… i get a kick out of watching the average person’s eye’s glaze over and blink because they don’t get it…
and my dear Natalia, yes I do understand why you would get upset about being harrassed while walking the streets of Jordon, but… all things being equal… it is their country, and they’ve been acting like that for thousands of years…
it isn’t like you should be surprise by it at all…
I have this theory. I can travel where ever I want. I can even completely disagree with the culture, the lifestyles, and the attitudes based upon whatever it is that it may be based upon. But if I’m going to stay? Then I best just realize that is the way it is, and learn to live with not liking it.
Or move… That to me is better then reacting every single time someone does what they would do whether or not you were there… it would just be someone else, and it would continue whether or not you were there.
you see, this isn’t about wrong or right. it’s about what is and what isn’t. I don’t like the superficial materialistic shallow way that folks here function within, but… it is the nature of this culture, as the “civilized world” and look what has happened? global economic meltdown.
When I was in Dubai, and had to grab a bag I dropped and my girlfriend went to flag a taxi, and all these cars screeched to a holt to “offer” her a ride, neither her, nor I were surprised. That is the arabic nation. That is what they’re like… yet at the same token, looking around the streets, at the overwhelming absence of women on the streets, instead of getting indignant, we accept it as their culture…
there is something to be said to the idiom “when in Rome do as the Romans do” and survive, as opposed to the converse mentality of “when in Rome do as the Jewish did” and end up dead, or frustrated.
I have this theory… people who want to change the world should make sure they’re doing it in the country in which they were born, rather than running away and blowing their indignation on someone else’s land.
Just my viewpoint…
oh… i’m not trying to insult your sensitivities, it’s just a viewpoint i have…
I just find that we as a species have a lot of viewpoints on what everyone else should do and all the injustices in the world… yet i wonder how much better the world would be if we took that same energy and applied it to ourselves, our own habits, our own baggage and so forth…
there is that silly saying that is, “be the change you want to see in the world” which i hear from a lot of folks who spend all their time helping “the less fortunate here” yet, they’re walking baggage cases…
i find that interesting.
I found Dubai to be much better about that sort of thing, honestly. Say what you want about a place – most people realize that harassing women isn’t cool. Of course, people do actually get in trouble for that sort of thing there. In Jordan, the law against it has yet to be seriously enforced.
And I disagree with you about how “oh, it’s just an Arab nation, they all do that.” Plenty of people in Jordan, women especially, are horrified by what goes on here.
Yelling and screaming and kicking cars is actually “doing as the Romans do.” This is the only way to proactively deal with harassment in Jordan – you have to get angry. If you try to ignore it, guess what? They think it’s a green light to go further. If I turn around and yell at a man, in Arabic, he leaves me alone. Because he gets confused and doesn’t understand that this sack of meat that’s standing in front of him is capable of pushing back.
So with all due respect – no, I don’t think it’s as simple a choice as accepting it and pretending like it isn’t happening, or moving.
James, you seem like a nice guy so I don’t want to make out like I’m picking on you or anything, but I am seriously disturbed by this “why are you surprised? Stop complaining, or leave” thing that is happening on this blog.
I saw Marina doing it earlier, and other people as well (Cranky Liberal you too, you stupid ass) and I don’t like it.
First of all, why assume that she is “surprised” by what is happening? She’s not ignorant. Knowing Nat, I knew she expected this. But what you don’t know, never know, is how you are going to be able to deal. You think that just because you’ve had worse things happen to you in life, you can take a little harassment or something else. But that isn’t always true. And guess what? Harassment breaks you over time. It takes months. I should know. Assuming that this is some naive little girl who had no idea what she’s getting into is just insulting.
Here is the other thing: Jordanian society has standards. All societies have standards. Even in Egypt, when things are even worse, this nasty behavior is illegal. It’s a question of laws getting enforced. There is social and political strife in the Middle East however, and because of it women’s issues are getting thrown under the bus. Nat is one of the women who, along with the local women, is willing to speak out. What’s happening to her is not unique, it doesn’t only happen to foreigners, and it’s an important issue. Do not trivialize it. I’ll repeat myself for those not paying attention: DO NOT TRIVIALIZE IT. This goes for you, for Marina, for CL, and every other person on this blog. Of course it’s Nat’s house and Nat’s rules, but I think this sort of trivialization just smacks of abuse and if you participate here, why not have a little respect for the blog owner? She has far, far too much patience for this stuff as is.
Finally, telling someone to “just move” is bullshit. Marina especially, if you’re reading – that was some dumbass shit, you should have apologized when you had the chance. But James, you’re not acting any better in this.
Nat has professional and personal commitments in this part of the world. You think she hasn’t thought about leaving? You think this shit is actually easy on her?
(Nat, please stop me if I’m going to far, feel free to edit or delete or anything else, but right now, I have to tell it like it is for the people present, I am this angry)
There’s a financial crisis going on in the world. People are losing their jobs and homes. Nat is lucky to have a job and a roof over her head. She doesn’t not have a support network either, outside of Jordan.
So it’s mighty presumptuous to casually tell her to “just leave.” I expect better from the alleged adults reading this blog. What, you don’t have bills to pay? Or people you love who you want to be with?
It must be pretty easy, to fling your so-called advice at a woman when she is trying to make tough choices about her situation. If you think you’re being helpful, you are not. And she’s too nice to get angry at you all like she should be. So I’m getting angry for her instead.
James, sorry that you are the catalyst here, but if you pay attention to this blog, you will see that this is not a one-time thing, this shit is constant, and instead of giving Nat support, you are tearing her down even further.
At least try to be thoughtful about it.
I’m sorry Nat, once again, please edit or delete if you want.
personally, I’m just waiting patiently for this to come out for Mac, so that I may NEVER LEAVE THE APT AGAIN:
http://thesims3.ea.com/view/pages/videos.jsp
…why do I have a snaggletoothed neurotic pink square as my avatar?
It is randomly assigned. 🙂
Lal, I’m not going to delete or edit anything, because you are technically correct. This stuff, even when it is well-intentioned, ultimately pisses me off.
hi Natalia,
i wasn’t saying that i thought it was alright to harass women. I don’t subscribe to it at all, nor do i condone it. However, the fact of the matter is that there are levels of society, no matter where anyone travels.
I see the same kinds of ignorance here in this oh so “civilized” society, and it’s not racially definitive.
Let me expand a bit on my little Dubai visit. That was our first day experience. In only a matter of a few hours. My g/f was wearing shorts, and a t-shirt. Nothing odd about that.
However, in our first day we noticed that quite distinctly, there is an absence of women anywhere. In restaurants. Walking, in the streets and so forth. They were just not around. Something like that, is something that is noticeable, and it does tend to make an impact.
The few places we did encounter women, we noticed their manner of dress.
I’m an advocate of invisibility. I believe that the best way to never be treated as a foreigner, is to not stand out like a foreigner. However one must keep in mind how and why I travel.
I travel to become educated on culture. I do not go anywhere, bringing my attitudes, ideas, and perceptions with me. It defeats the point of what I’m trying to accomplish.
My traveling isn’t about me and what I want. It is however, about what i can stand to learn. So I make it a point, within the first day, to blend in. Fully. To show respect for the culture immediately, and become part of that culture. I do so with every nuance of who and what I am.
My g/f – who is of the same mindset. From the first day, no longer dressed as she would where she was. She dressed as the women in Dubai, though granted it wasn’t that much different, it did change dramatically how she was treated.
Fully.
Absolutely.
That is what I meant by “when in Rome.”
Also, this is my opinion. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, just as I won’t always agree with anyone else’s opinion.
Look it’s simple to me. If some of the tribes in South America, whom wear nothing, were to come here, to this country, and “be able to do what they want, and dress how they want, and live how they want” walking the streets the same as they would in the jungles of South America, the fact of the matter is simple. They would be arrested, harrassed and treated with indignation.
So, the attitude of being able to be and do whatever one wants, in any place in the world is wholly ignorant. It also shows an overwhelming lack of respect and evolution.
In Europe it is annoying when Americans and British travel throughout, and act as Americans and British. People in Europe roll their eyes on it. Yet will take their money.
In The Middle East, when North Americans and European travel, they act as though they should be able to act as they do back home, and then are surprised when they run into issues of cultural dychotomies.
This is a universal problem. It isn’t isolated to any culture, or segment, and well whether or not anyone likes it, if we are somewhere else, and something occurs it is our full responsibility to look at ourselves and see if perhaps we are promoting it, EVEN if it is NOT intended and even if it is NOT desired.
It is not about, “oh! I’ve been offended! I don’t deserve to be treated thusly!” without an honest look in the mirror to see if just maybe, on that 1% chance we are acting as we do in our own countries, inadvertently, and without realization and that action, though acceptable at home, whether it is demeanor, stature, or even something as unassumingly irrelevant as manner of dress – just on that chance. Just because responsibility in my opinion is ALWAYS dualistic.
Always.
I haven’t been anywhere ever in my life, in any nation, at all in any time of my life, in any way shape or form thought of as “a foreigner.”
So if I can do that, and I can show those with me those things, no matter how silly it may seem to them at the time, yet have it garner a completely different response from those who’s country it is, then anyone can do it.
you know there is something I’ve noticed… and it is again not specific to all people, or cultures, or what have you… but well I have noticed that some people just tend to be harassed more then others, and I have always wondered why this occurs. What is the distinction? Is it something spiritual? Is it a scent? What is it that can have two people, both attractive, both women, both dressing the same way, and both being indivisible… yet one of them will find herself constantly harassed, and the other will have no such occurrence in her life…
it is something that I have always found interesting, and if i ever become independently wealthy, will be more than happy to fund research on the why of this particular thing…
of course, I’ve also always wondered why sausages come in packages of 6 and buns come in packages of 8.
I am not going to respond to the other comment, because i don’t think it deserves a response. I have little interest in being accused of anything because what I feel happens to tweak someone else’s issues. I personally realized that the only reason liberal dude wrote what he wrote, was to invoke a response, and as a result, anyone who needs the attention is best ignored. Besides… anything that starts out with “I’m not trying to pick on you but…” well that is distinctly singling out and picking on… a rose by any other name is still a rose… but I’m not offended. No one can offend me. for that to occur i have to allow it. I don’t.
Just like I didn’t get into the thing that that Liberal person said. I don’t give attention to attitudes of ignorance. Whether here or abroad. I’m better than that, and if that makes me arrogant or elitist, oh well… too bad so sad, such is life as I live it.
Just like in video games and TV. We can always turn it off. Same with people. I dismiss whom I do not deem worth any value, and they cease to exist for me.
phew… there that gets out…
I was actually being lighthearted about this and wasn’t at all causing conflict, or intending it. I mean really… this was a blog about a video game. Not national conscience.
Though now? I’m going to go to Jordan on my next trip (but not long I’m trying to get to Russia to take a look around..), and see with my own eyes.
Because I want to see what is what, and make my own mind up.
actually, i’m going to blog about this, as this comment section is NOT the forum for me to air my viewpoints, especially considering the content of the blog in and of itself.
however…. it does need to be addressed… you see, my girlfriend has stated she’d like to work in Dubai (though I don’t know if the economy will support it at this juncture from what i’ve read), which requires that I act the man and conform to her requirements, to ensure her comfort – since it is something which we’ve discussed.
as a result I’m going to blog exactly what I’m meaning, and talking about, instead of having to trade viewpoints on every little nuance, when I can just as easily explain the what, where, why, and how of it…
perhaps then, what I’m expressing will have more clarity, rather than being associated with an attitude which in no way reflects who and what I am as an individual.
I assure you all …. i am much different then what you’re all apparently use to as actions of men, and it is just as annoying for me to be slotted into a box with a assumptive perspective on my character, with those whom are less than able to stand in my shadow, let alone wear my shoes.
James, I think you’re missing the point.
First of all, no one here accused you of condoning harassment.
Second of all – I’ve no idea when you went to Dubai, but I lived there recently, and I don’t know what you’re talking about wrt no women and having to dress a certain way. I think your girlfriend might like working there. I did. It has its own unique challenges, and now that the crisis has hit, there are more unique challenges – but harassment there has been greatly curbed, in no small due to the fact that people didn’t think it was acceptable anymore.
As to the rest of your comments, two points:
(1) Harassment is not something that just happens to conspicuously foreign women in Jordan. I’ve already said that. I guess I need to re-state my point, seeing as you’re intent on believing that all of my troubles stem from being some sort of self-involved foreigner. No dice.
(2) Harassment is not something that is heavily influenced by clothes. If clothes played a huge role, women in niqab would not be harassed in Jordan. This isn’t the case.
As for this:
I’ve never met a woman who has never been harassed.
Your questions are akin to asking why some children get molested and others do not. It’s shifting the focus and responsibility, in one or another, on the victim, and not the attacker.
As a woman who is living with an Arab man, I find all of this particularly insulting. I don’t think you mean to be insulting – but treating other people as a monolith usually does not have positive effects.
I wrote my blog. It’ll make more sense in that… I’m not “a North American.” I’m Dutch. I’ve lived in over 130 cities and 25+ countries. I speak 6 languages fluently.
I wrote about why I feel the way I feel and it is directly related to all of my traveling, and it is a style of thinking which I’ve witnessed from many different cultures and isn’t specific to gender.
I am not at all talking out of my ass here. Because I can go anywhere, and I mean anywhere. I’ve been exposed to some pretty screwed up crap, including pirates, raiders, and so forth, and I’ve never once at all in anyway shape or form, suffered any form of difficulty.
I know my girlfriend will enjoy Dubai, or Abi Dhabi… however, I already know that she knows there is a way to travel, and a way not to travel.
It is an ability to change how one thinks, feels and functions.
here’s the blog >> http://jmendham.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/concepts-of-propriety/
I did actually comment on your post, James. Perhaps it’s languishing in your spam queue.
I am really glad to know that you have no difficulties anywhere, and that your girlfriend knows the absolute correct way to travel.
Once again, I noticed that you bring it all down to propriety and being a foreigner in your blog post.
I have been speaking about something vastly different here, so it seems that you are having a different conversation altogether. With someone else.
what i’d like to know, as a man, being a man, is why, your man, arab or otherwise, isn’t doing something about it?
why isn’t he making sure you don’t have to be subjected to this? Picking you up, dropping you off, meeting you, and so forth.
Doing what a man should do by all actions and attitudes of chivalry and function.
It is not treating a woman as incapable by being the shield which protects her trust. Which is the purpose of a man – in my opinion, as I function thusly.
I am use to being the person who is called when a partner is having an issue, or an ex-partner is having an issue. I know it is my responsibility to pick her up, and drop her off, and treat her rightly, in all actions, thought and function.
I am that guy that stands up when she needs to use the restroom, and stands up again when she returns. I am the man that will do the errand at night and make sure that she never has to feel anything but comfortable in whatever situation might be giving her discomfort.
From what I’ve read from your blog, I personally do not feel that your man is acting the man. Because I know, from the collective of very independent and strong women which I’ve been involved, they do not feel weak or whatever adjective someone wants to lay on me for doing what is wholly and completely right to do, as a man, raised to be a man.
you know… i have this tagline on my blog… it isn’t some rhetoric… it isn’t something to give a false pretense. I function that way. Fully and completely.
I know me, and I know that if it were me, i would make it go away. I am that way, and if it cost me my life, then that is the price for it.
Though i also know, that it would never have to cost me my life.
thanks Natalia, yes I noticed it, it wasn’t in my spam queue, and I approved it.
i’m not talking about a different thing… Who knows if you’re in Jordan when i get a chance to pop by… if that happens, then nice.
I’ll give you a list of women that aren’t harrassed… it might surprise you…
and you’re right i’m not trying to cause shit. I am just as strongly opinionated as you are 🙂
cheers!
actually I’m wrong… i just called them all and asked… seems they’ve all been harassed in some way or another, usually sexual harassment…
geez… there must be something wrong with me or something… i don’t even know how to do that…
but then I’m pretty daft as things go… I don’t even know when someone is interested in me. I always just assume people are nice, till they’re not.
And actually now that I think about it, I don’t have a lot of male friends, because I don’t tolerate their crap when it comes to women, and am blatantly vocal about it, to their faces, as soon as it happens.
I think I was born in the wrong century or something… or maybe I should get out more… or watch tv or something.
James, honestly, after noticing that you actually wrote this:
I once again have to say that you are having a different conversation. With someone else. Not me.
Your assumptions about my boyfriend actually underscore an important point – men who harass women view them as chattel. If the chattel appears to be “owned” by someone else, they usually hold back. It’s one of the reasons why I do in fact spend much less time going about my business by myself.
I think you were born in the right century – in the sense that sexual harassment is nothing new, though it was usually spoken about way less. After all, most people tend to adopt your attitude – “you’re bringing it on yourself.”
Anyway, glad you have it all very neatly figured out. Would like to stop this conversation now, as we are clearly speaking a different language.
LOL Speaking of Dubai. In my very first days in Dubai I was walking a long the creek enjoying a wonderful view and fresh air. It was not hot at that time of year. I didn’t notice the absence of women around or simply walking people for that meter. I didn’t know then that normal women don’t walk, etc, etc, etc there. A car pulls by with male passengers staring intensely at me. I ignored them. They slowly followed me. Then other car with male passengers pulls by and assumed that previous car will go. But it didn’t and they crashed. I was much younger then and found the whole episode just hilarious, so I just stood there lighting at them (no one was seriously hart). Then right a way police car appears. They asked me what happened and I explained them why they crashed. So they said why didn’t you take a taxi. I said: why should I. They say but mere so and so amount that taxi would have cost you would prevented this accident. And the policemen seemed really frustrated that I didn’t get their point at all, even more – found it funny. It took me some years and some explanations from Arabic women who asked me not to tell anyone that I sow them parting somewhere, not to talk about certain topics in public to them or they wouldn’t be able to be my friends, or that they cant do certain things because they would be killed for that, or that it took them enormous effort to persuade their parents to let them attend mix gender school in a first place, and tons of other weird things to start understanding how much this is a really different world and what is really under shiny wrapper.
I totally blogged this.. These last two comments were too easy… >> http://jmendham.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/concepts-of-propriety-part-2/
It’s done for me to Natalia, this conversation I mean. I hope your week gets better.
James, after reading your latest post, I am confused as to why you’d wish me a “better” week, unless this is merely more condescension. You have me pegged as an ignorant fool who is “bringing it on herself” – and I am not prepared to take your comments in good faith.
I am not interested in having a conversation about who among us is the most well-traveled, well-read, more experienced, or more intelligent – I find such self-justification ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as your repeated assertions that you don’t date uppity women like me. Am I supposed to be devastated? The only proper response to that is a LOLcat. Here’s an appropriate one.
For anyone who is paying attention, however, I’d like to reiterate a few of my earlier points, which have gone unaddressed:
Harassment. Is. Not. A. Problem. Exclusive. To. Foreigners. In. Jordan.
Harassment. Is. Not. Something. People. Invite. On. Themselves. It’s. An. Expression. Of. Social. Dominance.
In. Many. Situations. Harassment. That. Is. Not. Swiftly. Dealt. With. Degenerates. Into. More. Harassment. Or. Something. Worse.
There. That should be simple enough.
James, what exactly is your damage? Why have you written a ranty tl:dr multi-volume epic ending with something or other about how everyone in the whole world is stupid and it’s all crap because Natalia doesn’t like getting harassed? I mean I realize it must be hard to be a supragenius that no one listens to ’cause if they did their lives would magically be much better, especially women who clearly don’t understand the experience of street harassment as well as you, but, y’know. Damn. That’s a -lot- of verbiage. Are you okay?
Lol. James,
Since you are quoting my comment, I would like to say that I don’t thing that I was embarrassing my self. I think those males involved embarrassed themselves in front of me. I don’t think that I insulted culture by expecting equal space to exist while I was not bothering anyone. I have no respect for women-hating cultural practises. Nor did I reasonably expected such to exist in huge size like that. But I understood where it comes from and that it is not just few random fools, it all goes much deeper that in seems.
I was simply describing one of my cultural shocks. And if I had to make a point it would be – it is like arguing with a barking dog or fighting windmills (sorry if it sounds racist). I never implied that it is women’s fold to be harassed or hated for their gender, there are just places that are unfortunately simply not women friendly. Point. And yes more people should learn about it before they go. But guess what? It is difficult to imagine exactly even if you hear about it, because one assumes we less or more live in society of human rights and those are unrelated to bigger picture accidents. Unfortunately, they are all related and it is really that bad. And I don’t see what can be changed about it in our lifetime. But since everyone has right to exist – this culture should be just left to itself.
And for your record UAE government, for example, would love that culture to change a bit and get the women involved more. I was given scholarship from Sharjah ruler’s fund. All the local women I asked were on scholarship. There is scholarship available including all expenses paid from other ruler’s fund for any UAE female whose parents would give permission for her to go to uni in USA WITHOUT her guardians, alone.
And despite the fact that I found my experience not just challenging, but also interesting and rewarding and met lots of nice people, now I check human rights record for different countries online and I don’t spend my money going on holiday in places like that.
thanks to the last three comments 🙂 You happily reminded me of something I’d been too busy to notice.
whenever one listens to “me, my rights, my space, I, what I want” and a plethora of “it’s all about me and what I want” the lower down the social ladder of order and class one descends, as it tends to always be the lower classes which feel as though they’re entitled to something.
Whenever one hears about respecting others, putting propriety and sensibilities before selfish ambition, the higher up the social ladder one climbs.
You three ladies reminded me something in your comments, regarding your birth right and station in life – and this isn’t me insulting or “harassing” you, though I fully realize that anyone whom disagrees with any of you is obviously (rolling my eyes) harassing you… that is the problem with individuals who just think that for some reason the sun and moon should rise and set on their ass.
so now to the point: when i was very young, I remember my mother pointing out to me much of what I’d be experiencing, now that many folks were starting to immigrate:
“one can take a penny. And polish it and shine it, and oh how beautiful that penny will be! Everyone will notice it and say, ‘oh how shiny that penny is!’ however… it is still only a penny. It doesn’t have any more value because it is shiny and pretty.”
I should have known better than to try to express the merit of value, to pennies.
so, thank you. It is a waste of my time to bother trying to have an intelligent discussion with any or either of you, since the best that you have to offer is it being all about you. None of you has any interest in how other cultures, or individuals function and I actually am curious as to your agenda for traveling and marrying outside of your own culture.
The more I read of each of you the more I realize you’re each attempting to climb out of your station or class structure, while pretending to be something you’re not.
well… if it helps you look yourself in the mirror every morning, while each of you adjusts the chip you carry on each shoulder (in order to ensure that you’re not off balance that is…), then so be it.
I just hope the men you’ve each managed to trick don’t get taken and fully fleeced once they’ve outlived their value to you.
I won’t be visiting this blog again. No point. I’ve discovered the source, and realize it is without merit, and riddled with perceptions of entitlement.
And summarily irrelevant. 🙂
PS: I’m not offended. I feel sad for each of you. It is easier for the top of the ladder to climb down then it is for those at the bottom of the ladder to climb up, yet the only noise one ever hears is the rattling of the wind through the rungs at the bottom.
lol
This is kind of entertaining, but in a very specific, Jim Jarmusch-type fashion. I do feel a little dumb for engaging in good faith for a bit, but gems like “when i was very young, I remember my mother pointing out to me much of what I’d be experiencing, now that many folks were starting to immigrate…” make me think that it might have been worth it!
As a great philosopher might say, I’m positively ded of kyoot.
Lol! James, I take back the “nice guy” thing. But I also apologize for taking you seriously. Didn’t know who or what I was dealing with.
So long and thanks for all the laughs!
(Where do these people come from, Nat? So long as they entertain, I guess…)
I blocked out my last blog… i realized after writing all of this that quite simply this… common people do what they are…
I always forget… those whom are not relevant, and won’t be remembered when they’re dead and gone, always have this silly idea that somehow, for some reason they are entitled to something…
i was naive to think that these same individuals would have the capacity to learn beyond their station.
no wonder you have these silly concepts of “your rights” and “your space” and “your entitlement”
you all must come from something, where that has to be considered..
LOL! LOL! LOL!
Nat, don’t ever ban this guy. Narcissists are always funny on the internet (much less funny to their own families). Awww, James, you must really think that folks here care deeply, don’t you?
You’re so cute. Have a cookie.
oh god no… not at all… it just took listening to all of your dribble to realize that you all actually have this attitude as though you’re entitled to anything…
if you walk in the gutter, you are treated accordingly… if you don’t want to be treated like garbage, start acting like you’re a little more valuable.
it has been sad watching each of you… my friends aren’t treated as though they’re garbage, but then, they don’t allow themselves to be dragged into a situation, or be around anyone who would consider treating them thusly.
if walking home means someone is going to harass you… then guess what? Take a taxi… if you live in a low class neighbourhood, then move. really, it isn’t complicated to solve what one doesn’t like to deal with…
if i move to a ghetto, i am going to be treated according to how they live… they won’t come to my neighbourhood, so I don’t have to be subjected to how they choose to live.
it has nothing to do with power… it has everything to do with class and culture…
so whatever… the more i listen to each of you, the more i realize you’re out of your league… i understand why my partner dismissed you after reading all of these comments. she’s eastern european as well ladies. she isn’t fooled by your class or displayed locational class.
each of you, express quite simply in a manner by which she didn’t and wouldn’t have associated with you even by accident in your own culture, and isn’t surprised by how you’re being treated outside of your country.
old saying: you can take the girl out of the shit, but you can’t take the shit out of the girl.
now… i really do have to figure out a way where my phone stops notifying me, everytime one of you “i need to find a man to pay for my life” ladies, writes something here…. oh, and incidently, it doesn’t cost me any money, so if you’re thinking that it will bother me, it won’t. i’ll just turn it off.
easy 🙂 just like life…
long time listener, first time caller….
Just adding my voice to Lal’s! Please don’t ban James Van Douche!
Laughed so much at this that my coffee almost came out of my nose.
P.S. Love this blog, the fairy tales especially.
@James Van Leuvaan — comment dated 3/18 at 7:56 p.m.
Are you out of your mind? Your entire comment sounds like you’re talking from within your own grandiose fantasies.
Your remark, “… you have these silly concepts of ‘your rights’ … You all must come from something, where that has to be considered,” really suggests that you’re so self-deluded that you’ve forgotten even the most basic human realities.
Your entire comment would seem like deliberate satire, if it did not represent the insanely logical endpoint of all your comments on this thread. It also fits with your inflated self-assessments on your own blog, where you come across as someone locked inside his own self-absorption.
I used to tell commenters like you to get out more. In your case, you need to see a shrink pronto, before the courts force you to see one.
“each of you, express quite simply in a manner by which she didn’t and wouldn’t have associated with you even by accident in your own culture, and isn’t surprised by how you’re being treated outside of your country.”
Hahahahahaha!!! He just keeps coming back for more and more doesn’t he? Natalia Antonova, where do you find these people? Or how is it that they find you?????? This is like someone who stepped out of a Rick Astley video, but doesn’t even realize it.
Van Douche, you’re really real, aren’t you? Thank you for being you. The world is a more interesting place because of douches in sunglasses, I’ve always thought so.
ok so that was predictable… hmm, the top insults by the lowest common denominator are : (are you ready?)
1: mental health
2: emotional stability
3: sexual orientation
4: sexual ability or prowess
congratulations… so far you’ve dealt with “mental health” want to go for sexual orientation? sexual prowes or emotional stability?
of… course you’re not harassing me right? you are hypocrites. do as i say, not as I do…
you don’t want to be insulted and harassed, but it’s obviously ok for each of you to do so…
no wonder you’re treated as you are… you stink of your own hypocrisy 🙂
Speaking as a gay man, Mr. Van Douche, I personally don’t want you on our team, so don’t worry, nobody is going to -gasp- accuse you of homosexuality. At least I won’t.
Poor baby is being harassed? Um, last time I checked, this wasn’t even your blog, Douche-in-Sunglasses. Checked out your own site – reams of self-congratulatory drivel and not a whole lot of comments. It’s no wonder that you seek attention in Natalia Antonova’s space.
You aren’t required to read here, so guess what, nobody is harassing you, Van Douche. We’re just all amused by your Godzilla-like superiority complex.
roflmao…. oh look! yet another liberal 🙂 uh huh… you know what i get a kick out of here the most?
If it wasn’t for the internet you’d all still be oblivious 🙂
oh ps 🙂 i don’t approve 99% of the comments. I don’t care what anyone else thinks, unless of course, i ALREADY respect them 🙂 in which case of course.. .they’re more than welcome to comment 🙂
@James Van Leuvann, comment date 3/18 at 9:14 p.m.
I’m not trying to insult you. You do in fact sound delusional.
Your chain of comments in this thread has progressed from reminding women of their own responsibility to adapt to foreign cultures (as you see it), to chastising Natalia and Marina for trying to ‘rise above their station,’ to, finally, ridiculing the ‘common’ women here for having “these silly concepts” of rights, space, and entitlement, as though your personally-fantasized social hierarchy had the authority to determine other people’s rights.
Your first sentence in the second paragraph of your 7:56 p.m. comment, “those whom [sic] are not relevant … always have this silly idea that somehow … they are entitled to something,” really is the view of someone who is living inside his own fantasy world.
I’m not trying to harass you here, and I don’t think anyone else is, either. But you don’t seem to know what you sound like here.
You really do need to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist, if you actually act on these delusions in real life.
As a closing note, I’ve followed your struggle with grammatical English throughout this thread. You say you’re fluent in six languages. Apparently English isn’t one of them.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
oh, James, stay precious. -pinch-
Yes, yes, Van Douche, of course you only approve the comments of the real thinkers while the unwashed hordes are all beating down your door, trying to express themselves in your precious space.
Please keep talking about how much smarter and better you are on the blog of a Duke alum (I’m a Carolina fan, but have to give credit where it’s due, it’s -very – hard to get into Duke these days…), international journalist, and blogger who’s probably much younger than you and has already been quoted on Jezebel (and it’s thanks too Jezebel that I found this site).
And she’s pretty hot too.
Gosh, Van Douche, it really is no wonder you work so hard to bring people like her down. Guess they must threaten your superiority complex like no one else. LOL. Keep talking, honey.
p.s. I hate to break it to you, Jimbo, but just because your Mommy told you you’re Speshul? doesn’t make it so. good of her to warn you about all the bad bad dirty wimmins out there who might steal your precious bodily fluids, though: I’m sure she didn’t have any ulterior motives at all, there, and you’re -totally well adjusted and healthy, really-.
you’re missing the point.
i have spoken to the different women I know. they don’t think about “their rights” they just accept that they have them.
it doesn’t cross their minds that a man is going to treat them with disrespect, they aren’t around men who think in those terms.
they do not have to be subjected to people on the street harassing them, they don’t walk on those kinds of streets.
that is my point! fully!
my space? my rights? my entitlements?
i mean really… people who always do things the same way, end up with the same results.
no woman that i’ve been in contact with – in my circle of friends – has to remind any man to stand up when she walks in the room.
nor do they have to remind any man in my circle of friends that “oh you should give me respect!”
that is such dribble.
Yet, at the shelter where I volunteer, i get to hear women sound like that perpetually.
obviously this is a class issue. It must be. since I was born to and exist in one class – where these issues do NOT exist.
and volunteer in another class environment where these issues are RELENTLESS.
so whatever… if you need me to be unstable to rock your world! excellent. Glad I could be put down so you can all feel elevated, even if none of you can perceive this as a reverse prejudice.
but of course… i keep forgetting…
its all about you isn’t it?
not what or how you treat anyone, but only how you are treated….
bored now 🙂 ta ta
JVL:
I checked out your own blog just now, noting your latest post where you talk about your “lineage” and privileges of birth, and how that didn’t prepare you for engaging with the “lowest common denominator.”
I have also noted that, during the past four months when I’ve browsed your personal blog, you rarely get comments about your posts.
But when you post your nonsense on Natalia’s blog, you get all the attention that you’ve been missing.
No wonder you keep showing up here.
heh, funny… the comment about “i don’t get comments on my blog and THAT is why i’m coming here to comment” because i need the attention…. heh….
sorry folks… I don’t care… i mean really… i don’t! its true…
most of what I write about is god, my life, what I’ve learned, what I need to change about me, what I have discovered that I didn’t know before…
it isn’t really up for general discussion… i mean really…
you’re going to comment on whether or not i have a hang nail?
or my perception of what this verse or that verse means to me?
uh yeah….
of course, i have no doubt if i wrote about prostitutes and such… i’d get your kind there 🙂
Eeew. Raise your hand if you’re icked by the possibility of James Van Douche volunteering in a shelter.
Van Douche, honey, your delusions of grandeur are precious, really precious. For as long as you confine them to the internet they stay hilarious. Tell us about the books you read and the clothes you wear! If you really think you’re “of a certain station”! I need more entertainment please, I’m stuck in an airport, for God’s sake.
-pulls up chair-
Of course you “don’t care,” Van Douche. That’s because you know, honey, that it’s interesting people that get their blogs regularly commented on…even if they’re just writing about weather. If you start to care you might see yourself as pretty worthless and irrelevant.
Poor baby.
Anyone read Von Douche’s latest? I’ll reproduce it here, for your enjoyment:
“So now, I have this realization that the majority of women, who travel outside of the Russian Federation, are basically and simply looking to land a husband and will do whatever it takes to do it, and if sex is the tool, then that is how they’ll do it.”
Ms. Antonova, I know you must be laughing at this. “Land a husband.” This guy just burrows further into his own cliches.
Come on, Von Douche, we want some confirmation of your high and mighty status. I know -this- is going to be fun.
I went away and missed lots of fun! Have to agree with Comakaze here, this one strikes me as the type to go all jittery at the sight of a pretty, intelligent, and already accomplished woman. Not to be too much of a fangirl [I know you like that word, Nat, but it isn’t for me], but this one is sooo obvious it makes my sides hurt.
Bwahahahaha!! Wow! This is priceless. Natalia how do you always manage to find the really awesome trolls? I always get the run of the mill anonymous, comment-one-time-and-never-come-back trolls.
James, please stick around. I hadn’t been tuning in regularly so I’ve missed most of what you’ve had to say. Please, I’m sure that we can find some way to benefit from your abundant wisdom. Don’t go. Please,
Teh intertubes needz moar lulz!!
Jimmy, what the fuck are you babbling about? You gave Natalia unwanted advice, she told you “thanks, but no, you’re wrong,” and you wrote an Icelandic saga where you increasingly spun out. Is it really that difficult when someone tells you “no?” Speaking of entitlement? It explains a lot.
I mean, it’s kind of awesome: first you insist that no, this doesn’t happen to women if they don’t ask for it, just with a lot more verbiage and wind than usual;
then you go, oh wait, I talked to my female friends and they HAVE all been sexually harassed…did that just bend your brain out of shape too far, or what? Like, if you’re enough of a classist, sexist, patronizing douchebag it’ll somehow magically become true that your previous beliefs about the way the world works will be restored?
As for the whole you don’t have too many male friends either? Yeah, that must be it: you’re just too gosh-darned chivalrous. I mean I am sure it has -nothing- to do with your sparkling personality, bub.
Good luck to your classy, well-behaved, perfectly perfect girlfriend; I have a feeling she’s going to need plenty. Hope she doesn’t ever accidentally use the wrong fork or fart in your presence or reveal she doesn’t like your musical tastes or something. Or, you know, reveal anything bad that happened to her ever, because clearly it’ll be just a sign of how she’s -just like all the rest of them, an utter, utter disappointment.-
“Eeew. Raise your hand if you’re icked by the possibility of James Van Douche volunteering in a shelter. ”
-raises both hands-
“Hello. I’ve come to help bestow my helpy wisdoms upon you low-class tarnished gutter pennies, even though I’m disgusted by you and you DON’T deserve it. I do hope you’re properly grateful, or it’s SNEERY TIME, and NO FRUIT CUP FOR YOU.”
“you’re missing the point.
i have spoken to the different women I know. they don’t think about “their rights” they just accept that they have them.
it doesn’t cross their minds that a man is going to treat them with disrespect, they aren’t around men who think in those terms.”
How fucking awesome! I wonder why I never thought of that! If I don’t believe in it, it just won’t be true! WOW.
So, I guess if I’d just been -believed- harder in the Goodness Of Men like James (someday, o someday, my prince will come), I’d never have been:
randomly grabbed on the tit by some guy on a bike in my hometown California suburbia
groped by a drunk guy in Paris along with my friend, both of us wearing pretty much what every other woman in Paris was wearing as I can recall, then shambled after
followed in my car by some creep until I turned off into a police station
randomly shouted at, exposed at, by I don’t know how many mens;
and all of them complete strangers in all parts of the world, imagine that! I guess I must have been doing SOMETHING wrong, right? Was it my outfit? My come hither glare? No! I learn: I just -didn’t believe.-
“It wasn’t enough. You didn’t clap hard enough. TInkerbell’s dead.”
Alternately I could just never leave the house again I guess. Me and every other woman IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD YOU SELF-ABSORBED, SELFISH DICKHEAD
I mean, i can’t -imagine- why no one would’ve confided in you -beforehand-, you know? -prince- that you are? You tit.
My face hurts from laughing so hard.
p.p.s. per “the women you know:” once again? your moms may not be entirely straight with you all the time. just so you know.
…good grief, I just realized. He’s a Slytherin.
(“WHAT A -GREAT TWIT!!-“)
This is like someone who stepped out of a Rick Astley video, but doesn’t even realize it.
Oh, BURN.
oh lulz, Nat, have you seen his “about” page? He’s a PIOUS upper-class twit.
James was born in Amsterdam, Netherlands, though currently commutes between Toronto and Vancouver, Canada. He has experienced cultures and ideas through his travels which have given a greater appreciation and sadness for humanity.
He is a Christian, however, he does not applaud the method by which Christianity has been sold stating that, “It is possible to teach scripture to a parrot and never once hear the meaning of that verse from that parrot – as it squawks on its perch – high above the filth on the bottom of its cage.”
You will be challenged by the thoughts expressed here – they will incite you to expand your perceptions and open your mind to a greater understanding.
Please note: I am not a perfect person in regards to the reality that I do and have succumb to the intricacies of being human. Being human, who serves God means such to me: that I know I was created a perfect creature and am finished and fully complete – as is the nature of creation – yet still wrestle with the innate qualities of an imperfect world which completely includes the nature of my mind, my will and my emotions. That on occasion, I do not or will not listen to the quiet voice of the spirit within me – which is to say that I do not follow my intuition or conscience – to which I then – must recount and restore in order to return to the intended result of my created character.
Being human means that knowing that right action is a choice and a function of my spirit, and that the carnality of humanity can force a constant wrestling with both the spirit and the humanity.
Hey, N. I think you’re a “pretty penny.” Mom WARNED him about girls like you, you know. You carnal temptation to parrot filth, you. SQUAWK!!!1!
(Are you pining for the fjords yet, Jimbob?)
@Comakaze 10:06:
Eeew. Raise your hand if you’re icked by the possibility of James Van Douche volunteering in a shelter.
my hands also raised.
i seem to remember mister van douchenozzle being a class-a-1 rape apologist on Feministe several months ago. i had quite the argument with him.
i know better now. he’s just an incredibly self-absorbed asshole (though high-class, i’m sure). nothing more.
signed,
“low-class tarnished gutter penny #57787837489289287” (thx, belle!)
…holy crap. he’s a pure-D Calvinist. or whatever the fuck that is. See, it’s your fault because your ancestors were spiritually impure, see:
When I was teaching the course on Spiritual Warfare it never surprised me when a woman was harassed sexually over and over again, when a history discovered that her mother, or grand mother had been molested, or a grand father had perpetrated molestation. Not at all. It goes back to the sins of the father to the third generation.
And it’s really easy to solve. I mean really. I have a girlfriend who managed to stay a virgin all these years, and doesn’t get sexually harassed all the time. Though mind you, she doesn’t do anything either. She’s in bed by 10, she goes to church on Sunday, and she lives a quiet normal life. She doesn’t cuss or swear. She doesn’t feel any need to give her opinion on every thing because she knows it doesn’t matter, though she does tell me in private. But that again is a matter of class and wisdom. She doesn’t agree with me, and tells me when I’m wrong, but doesn’t feel the need to stomp around or be loud or act like a flailing emotional basket head.
She’s just better then most. It really is that simple.
Men will look at her absolutely but they don’t feel compelled to approach her. As a matter of point, I’ve watched as they sort of seem almost afraid to approach her, which I find rather interesting.
So I was right to wait for the right person to come along. Just as I’ve been blessed with the different partners I’ve had in my life. The drama never happens in their lives, and they’re able to live their lives, free from all the conflict and baggage which comes to those who just don’t get things, in the middle of them adamantly declaring that they understand everything because oh my God! It happened to them. Which is silly really. Because all they understand, is that it happened to them, so they run around clinging to everyone and anyone who has the same experiences. So that they can wallow in it, within that unity. Rather than making any effort to change it, and make it go away.
Someone needs to pick up a hardcover copy of “When Bad Things Happen To Good People” and jam it sideways up his prostate. maybe then he’ll “get it.” wow. I want to write the GF (assuming she actually exists) a “run away! run away!!” note for srs.
(dear Jimmy Hat: what did your ancestors do to God to inflict the world with not only your personality but your Vogon poetry?
http://jmendham.wordpress.com/2005/05/07/pure-love-explained/)
..oh laws, I must’ve missed the preamble, before he decided Nat was nowt but a shiny penny:
what i’d like to know, as a man, being a man, is why, your man, arab or otherwise, isn’t doing something about it?
why isn’t he making sure you don’t have to be subjected to this? Picking you up, dropping you off, meeting you, and so forth.
Doing what a man should do by all actions and attitudes of chivalry and function.
It is not treating a woman as incapable by being the shield which protects her trust. Which is the purpose of a man – in my opinion, as I function thusly.
I am use to being the person who is called when a partner is having an issue, or an ex-partner is having an issue. I know it is my responsibility to pick her up, and drop her off, and treat her rightly, in all actions, thought and function.
I am that guy that stands up when she needs to use the restroom, and stands up again when she returns. I am the man that will do the errand at night and make sure that she never has to feel anything but comfortable in whatever situation might be giving her discomfort.
From what I’ve read from your blog, I personally do not feel that your man is acting the man. Because I know, from the collective of very independent and strong women which I’ve been involved, they do not feel weak or whatever adjective someone wants to lay on me for doing what is wholly and completely right to do, as a man, raised to be a man.
you know… i have this tagline on my blog… it isn’t some rhetoric… it isn’t something to give a false pretense. I function that way. Fully and completely.
I know me, and I know that if it were me, i would make it go away. I am that way, and if it cost me my life, then that is the price for it.
Though i also know, that it would never have to cost me my life.
*
“I am a man, who is being of the manliness, and you are being a woman who is being of the womanliness, and it is in my manly opinion that you are lacking as the woman from the man who is manly. Why is it that a man who is manly to your womanliness is not being of the manliness? I, surely, would be more manly, for I am a man (who is manly), and…”
Awfully chivalric for him to stand up when she needs to use the can. I mean, your basic dull normal ill-bred gutter-man would just, like, sit there, and not salute her womanly trips to the womens’ room. Especially if she had to get past him in order to get out of the booth. And, not only does he not hold doors open, he would -pitch the woman through the closed door head first-, like a battering ram. Those bastards! Damn those Bad Men anyway. If only we could all have a GOOD man (who is manly), like James here.
Is it just me, or is he also channeling Smoove B here just a tad?
http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/view/smoove
So I finally get home at this ungodly hour, and of course I’m checking the internet instead of going to bed because this one is too priceless to miss. He deleted his previous little odes and is now bragging about away his girlfriend’s virginity (pssst, honey, RUN, if you’re not imaginary that is). It’s no wonder he got his panties in a twist over a woman who complains about harassment, he’s a creep himself in addition to being a douche (no, James, sticking your pinkie out when you have your tea doesn’t mean shit).
It’s hi-larious that people who are forever bloviating on their superior status honestly have nothing to show for it. The guy can’t even get the banner to his blog to show up properly, for God’s sake, but I am supposed to be impressed?
I just hope he’s making up all that bullshit about being a shelter volunteer. He’s the last thing those people in a shelter need. There ought to be a hazard warning of some kind, with lots of flashing lights, each time he tries to scurry over there to feed his Godzilla-like ego.
And apparently somebody is sending him hate-mail? More BS. Who in their right mind would want to trade correspondence with Van Douche? That’s way too much effort, a couple of trolling comments I would at least understand.
GallingGalla, why am I not surprised about the rape apologia business? “See, your grandfather fucked a badger in the year 1929, it’s no wonder you were raped.”
For someone who prides himself on being civilized and cultured and cultivated, he sure does wave that bloody sheet around.
Win at life. 😀
In the immortal words of Bint – MOAR LULZ!!!
“She doesn’t feel any need to give her opinion on every thing because she knows it doesn’t matter” – i think this is the funniest thing he said. James, look, i am giving my opinion like if it matters 🙂
My heart goes out to her. Even an imaginary girlfriend doesn’t deserve a douche like that.
Now, now, Marina, that is just low-class. Everyone knows that classy women don’t give opinions on things. They smile, fold their hands in their laps, and try to look interested when guys like Jimmy Thing here dazzle them with their superior wisdom on God and parrots.
http://www.pinkthink.com/pinkthink.html
see, Miss Abigail (or whomever she’s channeling) would probably agree with James Von James:
http://www.missabigail.com/advice/selection55.html.
If you follow the laws of good conduct, if you do only what is right and in good form, you will find yourself an acknowledged leader, an acknowledged success, no matter in what station of life you may be. The world is quick to perceive good manners, just as it is quick to perceive the blunders in etiquette. If you study the rules of good conduct, and follow good form in everything you do and say, you will become courteous and kind and well-mannered. Etiquette will attract people to you, make you and your home a center of social activity. But most of all, it will make you respect yourself. And that is more important than riches or fame ~ for self-respect is the only thing that brings true happiness.
Remember the words of the prophet, ‘He who respects himself will earn the respect of all the world.’
http://www.missabigail.com/advice/selection126.html
Every real woman must be sweet, and she must express her sweetness in kindness.
The real sweetness that is the essence distilled from a lovely soul is not the cloying, sticky, kittenish sweetness that all too inadequately conceals its owner’s claws, but the deep, real loveliness that shines from the depths of the lovely soul, and often produces an effect of actual physical beauty.
True sweetness is ‘as rare as a day in June’ ~ and I mean ‘rare’ in the sense that it was used by the author of this quotation. Rare meaning ‘choice, priceless, and seldom found’ applies to sweetness on all three counts.
A naturally sweet disposition is often an inherited quality or the product of an environment where one is constantly surrounded by others who are so pricelessly blessed. Yet, even though it may be latent, the germ of sweetness abides in each of us.
Sweetness is founded upon many things. Often it is based upon a philosophical outlook which is sometimes called understanding ~ at other times tolerance. For one with a sweet personality may, at times, be rather easily hurt, but realizing and having the intelligence to analyze this hurt, that person never retaliates. And also, upon such a one, the cares and irritations of life seem not to weigh too heavily, despite the fact that usually she is not the type of moron who is always happy because she cannot feel sorrow.
Life being what it is, it appears to me that the sooner one cultivates a philosophical attitude tinct with humor, the sooner will one be equipped to go through it with a minimum of discomfort to one’s self and to others.
ah, look, more sage advice from Miss A’s archive. I think James may find this particularly geared toward his exquisite sensitivities:
http://web.archive.org/web/19980418153321/chew-the-parasite.com/timewarp/advice/q16.html
Is There Any Hope At All?
Q Dear Miss Abigail:
What do you do if you asked a girl out, in a romantic fashion and in a foreign land, and she indirectly says no, but you still like this person and you have not been able to get her out of your mind for the past 8 months?
Signed,
Sameer
A Dear Sameer:
Without more information (how indirect was she, exactly?) it is hard to tell whether or not there is hope for you. It may be the pessimist in me, but I have a feeling that the situation will not work out in your favor, even if you do approach this girl again with your true feelings. It might be best just to move on. Here is a bit of advice to help you through these rough times.
1963: Surviving Disappointment in Love
Love, even when solidly won, can never be guaranteed. Your beloved may dote on you madly for a while ~ and then for one reason or another find you a bore. Or unkind fate ~ such as a move to a distant part of the country ~ may separate you from the woman you love. Or your inamorata may die, and be irrevocably taken from you.
For a number of reasons, then, you may fail to win a woman’s love in the first place, or you may gain her affection and have it rudely torn away from you in the second place. In such an event, you will naturally tend to sorrow over your loss; and unless you do something to minimize or mitigate this sorrow, it may turn to depression, despair, or even suicidal tendencies.
Can anything effective be done about your falling out of love with a woman or your conquering sorrow over loss of a beloved person? Yes, if you want to work hard at thinking and acting in this respect, something very definitely can be done to lessen amative involvements and alleviate love’s sorrows . . . .
If, therefore, you want to avoid depression and self-pity as a consequence of losing your beloved, you must look at the additional, gratuitous sentences that you are telling yourself after your appropriate sorrow-creating sentences. And you must vigorously, consistantly question and challenge these unnecessary sentences, in theory and action, until they become significantly modified or disappear.
More concretely, you must ask yourself: “Why am I a worthless fool just because I have made human mistakes and have lost out with Mary?” . . . “Why is it impossible for me to ever hope to win and keep a worthwhile girl again?” . . . “Is the world really horrible and mean, just because I have lost Mary?” . . . “Will people like Jack and Eddie, who were partly instrumental in my losing Mary, actually be able to keep frustrating me in this way? And are they really bastards, just because they interfered with my relationship with Mary?”
While challenging your own catastrophizing, depression- and anger-creating philosophies in this way, you must also combat them in action. That is to say, you must force yourself to look for another girl like Mary; go out into the world and show yourself that there are other joys in life aside from sex and love; deliberately see people like Jack and Eddie, and show yourself that they are not blackguards, but do have good points in spite of their helping you lose Mary. If, verbally and actively, you fight your own despair-creating views, you will soon come to see and to feel how ridiculous they are, and will acquire a saner philosophy of life that will still leave you with normal sorrow and regret over the loss of Mary, but will prevent you from becoming intensely and prolongedly upset about this loss.
You can, then, observe your negative emotions; reassess and reevaluate the philosophic assumptions that lie behind and cause them; and change them so that you still remain an emoting, feeling human being, but one who experiences little or no deep despair or self-hatred, while still experiencing suitable levels of sadness, sorrow, and frustration. All this, naturally, is difficult for you to do, when you have been born and raised as you have been. But, as I keep telling my psychotherapy patients and marriage counseling clients, it is much more difficult for you not to do this.
James can travel anywhere and just blend right in, eh?
I’d give him and his gal all of about 15 minutes in Southeast DC or wide sections of Baltimore. Or Liberty City Miami. Or rural West Virginia. Or various parts of Chicago. I could go on…
And his class snobbery is rather amusing. Now, truthfully- I do not get harassed all that much really, it’s happened, but it is not a regular thing- probably because even thought I am female and small, I do tend to look like I could strangle someone to death with a cordless phone. And “class” and how I dress have nothing to do with that.
It is also very interesting how James there goes off on his born privilege and such, as if his family line came into creation with money and manners! Somewhere, someone back on down the family line had to get their hands dirty in order to make all that happen, yet if they walked up to James in the here and now, he would probably treat them like low class scum…so much for that popular religious theory of respecting ones elders, eh?
Hubris, plain and simple. So convinced of his own intelligence, importance and superiority he cannot engage with those who disagree because they are, conveniently enough, just to trashy for him! Nice little excuse, no? Or, worse yet, those Eastern European whores are just after his money!
Laughable really.
No no no RE, the money and lineage was handed down by a just God who is simply rewarding teh Von Douches for their purity and Godliness. Sheesh.
I’m sure he did just fine with the pirates, anyway. It was touch and go in the Haunted Mansion for a few minutes there, though.
what i’d like to know, as a man, being a man, is why, your man, arab or otherwise, isn’t doing something about it?
why isn’t he making sure you don’t have to be subjected to this? Picking you up, dropping you off, meeting you, and so forth.
Doing what a man should do by all actions and attitudes of chivalry and function.
It is not treating a woman as incapable by being the shield which protects her trust. Which is the purpose of a man – in my opinion, as I function thusly.
Okay, everyone, all together now:
We’re MEN! MANLY men! We’re men in TIGHTS!
We roam around the forest looking for fights!
“We may look like sissies, but don’t tell us that or we’ll put out your lights!”
…I just reread and: damn, that’s even sillier than I thought:
True sweetness is ‘as rare as a day in June’ ~ and I mean ‘rare’ in the sense that it was used by the author of this quotation. Rare meaning ‘choice, priceless, and seldom found’
um. aren’t there 30 of those days? like, every year?
Oh, WOW…first FA, then Cranky Lib, and now this fool??
I will try to keep it as real and as brief as possible here.
James…you are not a woman.
I assume that you have not experienced the kind of harrassment that Natalia has.
Therefore, it is not your damn business — however you might think of yourself as the “expert” on male-female relations — to attempt to lecture Natalia or any other woman on how she should experience what she experiences.
You asked a question. She responded. Kindly SYAD and STFU.
Or….not. If you want to continue to keep digging a deeper hole for yourself, then who am I or anyone else to stop you??
Anthony
heh, so i actually thought i’d come back because for some bizarre reason, people from here are still going to my blog… though that does require a semblance of literacy.
don’t you all get tired of being common? I mean really… sigh…
imaginary girlfriend? my mental health? my emotional capabilities? my sexual orientation? my sexual prowess?
it seems that whenever folks have nothing to say, they use those as their anchors… how sad is that? I mean really.
and of course… lets not forget profanity, cussing and other banalities.
Ironically, I haven’t sworn, made personal assessments of sexual orientation, mental health, or what is and isn’t imagined, because I don’t view anyone in those terms.
everyone thinks, and therefore everyone is.. it is truly that simple.
so it is interesting to me that these avenues seem to always fall off the lips of the individuals who don’t seem to have much to say. Congratulations, you’ve not insulted me at all. All you’ve done is show who you are. But hey 🙂 if that is what you needed to do to elevate yourself, and make it possible to deal with your day, then I guess that is what you need to do.
And incidentally. I’ve had discussions at length, with different women I speak to (oh and btw, they’re not imaginary, but i’m sure someone will say that again, because that’s all they have), they don’t get harassed. At all. Zero.
They don’t go to places where that type of behavior exists. You know, when my friends – my male friends – see an attractive woman, they don’t feel this uncontrollable urge to run up and grope, cat call, yell from across the street, or pursue them. Why?
Oh look! There is an attractive woman. Here is a quarter, call someone who cares! There are beautiful women all over the world, and the fact of the matter is, that from those women with whom I associate, these kinds of behaviors just aren’t things they’re subjected to, either accidentally or what have you.
so maybe you all should probably change a few things in your lives. Just maybe, you should not put yourself in the company of those kinds of individuals.
If that means moving to a better class of people in the city, then do that. If you desire to be treated better. Or you can stay where you are, and just expect – ignorantly – that the entire universe will just stop spinning and accommodate you. Because after all, each of you is the center of the universe. Though perhaps you should have a discussion to see which of you is more center than the others, though I’m sure that would cause some contention for you, to the point where you’d have forgotten about me 🙂
After all the sun and moon rise and set on your collective asses, and your excrement is without scent, and your genitalia is made of pure gold.
Obviously haha!
My girlfriend read some of this garbage you all have here, and that is why i deleted those blogs. She made a good point. I was wasting my time trying to inform individuals who need their offense to give themselves value.
but then again… you all think she’s imaginary heh…
so congratulations! you have your blogs, and your 15 minutes. Real life is too frightening for the included collective (here) and so, you live in your virtual little world.
Class and station still exist in this world. Whether or not any of you like it.
Class and station still function without thinking about “our rights” and “what we deserve” since the fact of the matter is, that those ideas didn’t exist until the provincial decided that they deserved what they didn’t have.
Nowadays we just call that entitlement issues. Self generated value.
Yet, if you all keep doing what you have always done, then you will always end up with the same results.
You’d know that if you changed how you were doing things… but i know you won’t change how you’re doing things, because that action might, just maybe, give you a different perspective, and then you’d have to re-examine that yes, just maybe it was your environment, and just maybe it was a basis of your current choices, and the surroundings you preferred, which were the core and essence of why you were being treated thusly.
And it isn’t power based, because they whom have power, don’t need to pretend it. And it is hardly powerful at all for a low life common man, on the street, to offend directly any woman.
Otherwise all men would do so. And all men do not. However, I suppose because you’ve been harassed, then all men must be evil and all men must be pigs, because that is all you’ve each experienced, and obviously you’re all totally 100% correct. And everyone with a different viewpoint or experience is obviously 100% incorrect.
I don’t think though, that any of you whom have been harassed would have the courage to admit that it isn’t all women who suffer, since that would obviously undermine the essence of the anger and offense you each need to live within.
So go ahead… give the next little bit of lowest common denominator insults that only indicate that you each, live within that level and culture, in which the behaviors you abhor reside within.
well? hmm? demonstrate once again, who and what you are… and then go ahead and tell me that ALL men are this way.
go ahead! Act in the same manner by which you have so vehemently waved your banner against! Show that you’re not any better. 🙂
attitude, and action. Class and environment are indicative of resultant behavior.
It is the core of all psychology.
in regards to Miss Abigail… it is hilarious to me that there even has to be a website that teaches etiquette, and manners and social correctness. hahaha!
but then again… i remember that many companies in the USA actually teach their employee’s basic manners and customer service, as it seems that most folks don’t even know the simplicities of how to use a fork and knife at a table, and use words such as “eh? huh? what?” instead of excuse me? pardon me? etc…
that is sad. very very sad. it just goes to show that children are having babies, and raising them with attitudes of expectation, entitlement and absence of culture. how pathetic.
I can count a lady on one hand, of how many I’ve met in all the places I’ve been. Lots of little contentious little girls though… lots of little brats that have some idea in their head that they should be treated in a manner which is not a reflection of their own behavior.
But then again… my partner is a 27 year old virgin who actually values her desire to remain stoic until she is married.
and it is women – similar to those whom are here commenting in this blog post – who are the kinds of women who are laughing at her behind her back.
yes yes… people like you, mocking other women who decide to follow a manner of ethics, which none of you could respect yourself enough to maintain, and yet I doubt any of you can state that your first experience was the way you’d always dreamed it would be….
but then again… hypocrisy is a domino which relents through every action from it’s inception…
ok then … what new common insults do you have for me? What new insights do I get to have toward your insecurities, weaknesses, and lack of self acceptance?
oh and btw (cuz i just came back from a little dinner party and have had a few drinks i can’t help myself but drop this in your face).
my girl? she’s fiercely independent. She has been in Canada 2 years now. Managed to land a job not given to immigrants using my resume as her template, to land a senior position at our major university.
Has purchased 2 new cars, in 2 years (she likes new cars), on her own, with her own money.
Thinks for herself, decides wisely, has a plan. We won’t be married until she’s 30 – by her decision.
She paid to come to this country, after all the processes, without the help of any man, without the need for any man.
She is the epitome of all that I respect in a woman. She knows that there is power in strategic silence over many words. She doesn’t waste her breath on zealots with a cause (such as you all seem to be, from what I’ve read in your collective blogs and your banner waving).
She strong founded in our own right, and ability.
Oh and coincidently? She doesn’t drink. She goes to church every Sunday. She’s in bed by 10pm every night. She isn’t loud, or bosterious. She hasn’t EVER been harassed by any pig or animal that might pass for a man, because she doesn’t put herself in those kinds of environments.
She LOVES being feminine and a woman. She doesn’t have any interest – ironically – in the attention of men, and she picked me. I didn’t pick her.
But then you don’t know that I haven’t chased a woman ever, I don’t see the point in it. I never have.
Oh and have I mentioned she’s brilliant? Really! It’s true!
So while you all swear, and cuss, and cut down and put down, and write blogs and give attention to what you can’t control, keep in mind. There are quite a few women out there that don’t need to hide behind a keyboard writing diatribes of crap to feel relevant. They just go out and make their lives relevant.
And as for Duke. Who cares? I went to Harvard, and Laurier, and I have a few degree’s as well. I’m hardly threatened by strong women. But strength isn’t shown in temper tantrums yelling and kicking on the street. That’s what a weak person does. Not a strong one. A strong individual doesn’t get provoked. They just recognize the source, shrug and move on with their day.
I want to thank you all for being the core of conversation at dinner tonight – it turns out that all of the women there, whom are all successful in their own rights, don’t have much use for your kind. But then they don’t need to wave a banner to feel relevant. haha!
oh Dimmy. Normally one charges for the quality of abuse you’re getting, you sad sack. You were just too fun to mock, is the thing, although you’re beginning to go on repeat, and that’s getting a bit dull.
Per the Miss Abigail: Jim, uh, see…you missed the funny part, there. I don’t quite know how to explain it to you, because you seem terminally devoid of any sense of irony–pathological narcissists usually are–but, um, well, first of all, the “advice” is garnered from books dating back from 1923 and earlier, see. Blog author’s hobby.
Mostly we were noting how strikingly familiar the worldview of the century old agony aunts and your own seemed?
per your girlfriend: we’re not mocking her, we’re sympathizing with her (real or otherwise) for dating a terminal blowhard like you.
I mean, I’m sure none of this was you anxiously trying to reassure yourself that -this- one won’t turn out to be just after your money like some -other- Eastern European woman you happened to fancy but who -unlike- your girlfriend (who may or may not live in Canada) is just so very, very declasse, which you somehow managed to ignore right up until she disagreed with you (about her own experience, yet). I’m sure she -really is- just -perfect-, whomever she is. And if God forbid she ever gets breast cancer or hit by a car or something, I’m sure you’ll put aside your moralizing on “bad things only happen to bad people” long enough to actually consider her needs for once, right? Or, no, wait, actually, nothing bad -will- ever happen to her. Or you. God -loves- you, Jimmy! You’ll never grow old, you’ll never suffer, and you’ll never die. And you totally won’t be alone and terrified when it happens, either. Hey, -I- believe it.
by the way, Jimmy: you do know that your “class and station” just means that your ancestors went out and did the dirty work of exploiting the hell out of other people and then passed the lucre on to you so that you don’t have to, right?
I mean at some level deep down you must know that you’re pretty much useless, and all the stories you and your parents tell you about how special you are are strictly in service of their vanity. Because why if their Sonny Boy wasn’t special, then -they- couldn’t be special. I do hope you haven’t let Mater down, Jimmy. I mean, I am sure she expected Great Things, and, well, you’re getting along, aren’t you. I mean you’re twenty years older than Natalia here, and she’s a much better writer than you, and better known than you’ll probably ever be. -And- she’s a Gurl. Not that that bothers you at all…
my partner is a 27 year old virgin who actually values her desire to remain stoic
I do not think that word means what you think it means. Although, again, dating an insufferable gasbag like yourself probably WOULD require stoicism.
Seriously, though, why do you keep going on and on about your girlfriend? Surely you’re not just trying to convince us extra hard that you were so NOT interested in Natalia, because you HAVE a -perfect- girlfriend, a -better- Eastern European who -doesn’t- smart off or have unpleasant things you can’t control happen to her, and she -does so- exist, really and truly!
And, Jimmy, whatever you do, don’t let your girlfriend see this:
http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/sexual_assault.html
Dispelling the Myths
MYTH: Sexual assault is not a common problem.
FACT: Sexual assault is experienced by Canadian women every day at home, at work, at school and on the street.
A 1993 Statistics Canada survey found that one-half of all Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence. Almost 60% of these women were the targets of more than one such incident. (1)
A 1984 study found that one in four Canadian women will be sexually assaulted during her lifetime. Half of these assaults will be against women under the age of 16. (2)
For women with disabilities, these figures may be even higher one study indicates that 83% of women with disabilities will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime. (3)
MYTH: Women lie about being sexually assaulted, often because they feel guilty about having sex.
FACT: Women rarely make false reports about sexual assault. In fact, sexual assault is a vastly under-reported crime. According to Statistics Canada, only 6% of all sexual assaults are reported to police.
MYTH: Sexual assault is most often committed by strangers.
FACT: Women face the greatest risk of sexual assault from men they know, not strangers. Of the women who are sexually assaulted, most (69%) are sexually assaulted by men known to them dates, boyfriends, marital partners, friends, family members or neighbours. (4)
For example, four out of five female undergraduates recently surveyed at Canadian universities said that they had been victims of violence in a dating relationship. Of that number, 29% reported incidents of sexual assault. (5)
When a woman knows the man who sexually assaults her, it is less likely that it will be recognized as a crime, even by her. But these sexual assaults are no less a crime than those committed by strangers.
MYTH: The best way for a woman to protect herself from sexual assault is to avoid being alone at night in dark, deserted places, such as alleys or parking lots.
FACT: Most sexual assaults (60%) occur in a private home and the largest percentage of these (38%) occur in the victim’s home. (6) The idea that most sexual assaults fit the ‘stranger-in-a-dark-alley’ stereotype can lead to a false sense of security.
MYTH: Women who are sexually assaulted “ask for it” by the way they dress or act.
FACT: The idea that women “ask for it” is often used by offenders to rationalize their behaviour. It also blames the victim for the crime, not the offender.
Victims of sexual assault report a wide range of dress and actions at the time of the assault. Any woman of any age and physical type, in almost any situation, can be sexually assaulted. If a woman is sexually assaulted, it is not her fault.
No woman ever “asks” or deserves to be sexually assaulted. Whatever a woman wears, wherever she goes, whomever she talks to, “no” means “no”. It’s the law.
MYTH: Men who sexually assault women are either mentally ill or sexually starved.
FACT: Men who sexually assault are not mentally ill or sexually starved. Studies on the profiles of rapists reveal that they are “ordinary” and “normal” men who sexually assault women in order to assert power and control over them. (7)
MYTH: Men of certain races and backgrounds are more likely to sexually assault women.
FACT: Men who commit sexual assault come from every economic, ethnic, racial, age and social group. The belief that women are more often sexually assaulted by men of colour or working class men is a stereotype rooted in racism and classism.
Men who commit sexual assault can be the doctors, teachers, employers, co-workers, lawyers, husbands, or relatives of the women they assault.
A recent survey on date rape provides a strong indication of the range of potential male offenders. In this survey, 60% of Canadian college-aged males indicated that they would commit sexual assault if they were certain they would not get caught. (8)…
Myth: The greatest danger is from a stranger.
Fact: Most rapes, 50 to 80%, are committed by someone the victim knows.
http://www.butler.edu/HealthEducation/?pg=4911
Myth: Only certain types of women get sexually assaulted. It could never happen to me.
Fact: Both men and women can be sexually assaulted. It is not dependent on race, class, or gender.
Myth: Sexual assault is the result of sexual arousal or sex deprivation.
Fact: Sexual assault occurs as an attempt to exert control and confirm power.
Myth: Sexual assault is most often committed by strangers at night in dark alleys.
Fact: Most assaults are committed by someone the person knows and occur at any time of the day or night. Sexual assault occurs most frequently in a familiar place, such as the home.
…Myth: If a person isn’t a virgin then they can’t be raped.
Fact: A person’s sexual history has nothing to do with a case of rape. A person could even have had sex with the attacker at an earlier time and can still be raped by them.
…
She LOVES being feminine and a woman. She doesn’t have any interest – ironically – in the attention of men, and she picked me
Um, Jimmy…? oh, never mind.
Jimmy, you cretin, no one said anything about “all men.” I know plenty of genuinely “nice guys.” Thing is, unlike you, they don’t feel the need to trumpet their own virtue all over womens’ blogs; this is what is known as “protestething too goddam much.”
And, no, I don’t think the fact that you’re an utter chode indicts the gender as a whole. I doubt anyone here does.
We just think you’re, you know, a total chode.
-bless-
right, Jimbo, that’s your abuse session for the evening; you don’t get any more freebies. That will be $140 in U.S. dollars, please. cigarette not included.
or else play “Melancholy Baby.” if you -can-.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
the inadvertent rimshot heard ’round the world, that was…
There ought to be a Hallmark card…
Oh, I was probably one of the ones spelunking his site for more lulz from here (I am far too easily amused, yes), speaking of Hallmark cards, I was actually inspired after reading this bit:
http://jmendhamdotwordpress.com/2006/04/17/so-what-is-that-a…
Going all the way back to the first written patriarchs and prophets. All of em just rattled everyone’s cages and were totally hated, hunted
and in some cases murdered for doing the one thing that everyone says they want. Telling the truth.
I’ve always found it entirely amusing that what people say they want and what people can actually stomach have very little to do with each
other.
” I want an honest loving caring person” yeah uh huh, sure you do. An honest person will tell you that they think you look fat in that dress; if they think that you look fat in that dress. It doesn’t mean that you’re fat in that dress; it just means that is what they think.
At the same token, most would rather that they said, oh no honey you look stunning; so that if they themselves think that they look fat in that dress; they can be assured that it’s all in their minds, and avoid it for another day.
If you ask me? I’ll tell you what i think. Cuz that is what honesty is.
And love? sometimes love is saying something to banally and gutterly honest that the feelings get hurt; however, loving in return is the knowledge that the person asked didn’t tell you to hurt you and loved you enough to be honest, and loved you enough to be forthright.”
-ahem-
Love is
Being your knight in shining armor to your damsel in distress
Love Is
Being brutally honest enough to say
“Yes, you look fat in that dress”
Thou art the Eternal Feminine who beckons me
Upward through the Pearly Gate
And so it is because I care about your soul
That I tell you that I think you need to lose some weight
In God’s Perfect Love
doesn’t really scan, but then that’s Hallmark for you. maybe strike the first “your.” eh, still doesn’t scan. o well.
(“Go down, Moses…
Tell Ol’ Pharoah
That he looks kind of portly in those robes…”)
I love me some cheap lulz on a Sunday (despite Sunday being a work-day in Jordan).
His/imaginary girlfriend is 27 years old virgin? The root of the problem is obvious – he never gets laid lol
James:
If all these women are so lesser than thou, why bother? Why are you here? Does insulting them do something for you? Give you some sort of joy? Telling them how low and worthless they are? How unintelligent and irrevelant? Why? Why the need to do that What’s in it for you? What does it do for you? Tearing other people down in the manner you are trying to here says very little about them, but it says a lot about you.
I think, Marina, that you’re probably right.
Hey, Jimmy, let me break it down for you (since you obviously read here… and comment while drunk too – classy!):
You repeatedly insulted a blogger whose readers happen to really, really like her. If people are showing up on your blog, that’s what you deserve. Honestly I thought you’d be thankful for the free hits.
You’re humiliating yourself. And Nat is letting you, probably because you’ve managed to piss her off enough. Well, I asked her not to ban you. You are damn good for those cheap lulz.
Van Douche is back! I just noticed… back and douchier than ever. How -does- he do it?
Sorry for momentarily suspending the hilarity, but did anyone catch the following:
So not only is he a troll, he’s also fishing for masturbation fantasies.
Van Douche, is your other name Kyle Payne? Just wondering.
You’re making this too easy.
Look up the definition of the word “stoic” before you brag about Harvard, sweet cheeks.
Yeah, there are a number of grammatical and spelling and vocab mistakes that normally I wouldn’t mention, but seeing as how this one’s a superior Ubermensch SupraGenius and all.
And yeah, I missed that about the first time business. um ewy lulz. Whatever -are- you trying to tell us, Dimmy? How does your little mind work? No one had asked about your and your putative GF’s sex life, or lack thereof. Sorry Marina took the bait you’re dangling there. Me? Hey, stay celibate your entire life for all of me. Sleep with thousands of people. It’s no skin off my ass either way. You’re still a fucking douchebag.
Yep I didn’t get dreaming about first time ether 🙂 Do people really dream about it? And how long is he been dreaming about it 🙂
#
And, Jimmy, whatever you do, don’t let your girlfriend see this:
http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/sexual_assault.html
Dispelling the Myths
MYTH: Sexual assault is not a common problem.
FACT: Sexual assault is experienced by Canadian women every day at home, at work, at school and on the street.
A 1993 Statistics Canada survey found that one-half of all Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence. Almost 60% of these women were the targets of more than one such incident.
so… i’m right again. thank you for actually providing statistics. 1 half… that is meaning that the other half has NOT been assaulted. interesting.
and 60% of the women who WERE assaulted were the targets of more than one incident, thusly, mathematically, 40% of that 1/2 of the population of women who were assaulted didn’t experience a second incident… hmmm, wonder what they did differently to avoid it? Wonder what they learned. Be neat to find that out.
A 1984 study found that one in four Canadian women will be sexually assaulted during her lifetime. Half of these assaults will be against women under the age of 16.
ok, so the “1 half of…” has now dropped to 1 quarter of… with those being under 16.
intellestink… oh but the percentage has increased between 1984 to 1993.
doubled even. neato.
either way… i’m still 100% correct. That NOT ALL WOMEN have been assaulted, therefore NOT ALL WOMEN have this issue.
Which means that it merits research into WHY THAT IS!!!!
geez, you’re all so busy waving your banner, in order to be so right, that you don’t even see – in any manner of objectivity – that there is another side to the coin, and instead of sitting back – objectively – and saying huh… i wonder why that is? what are the distinct differences which might shed some light on this for us, so that we can perhaps see an avenue to decease the percentage points.
but no… that would be too much work… especially since it’s way more fun (for each of you) to be angry, and rant, and wave a banner, and nurture your inner rage of whatever it is that you all seem to be unable to control.
i bet you’re all shocked when you go to a zoo and OMG :O there are animals… i mean what the hell huh? how DARE they have animals in a zoo. It’s almost as bad as going to a car dealership and actually finding. :O omg… cars!!!!!
you’re all so pathetic.
as for why i come back here? i get a ripping hoot out of self generated tunnel vision…
it’s like sitting there listening to a vegetarian who wears leather… obviously it’s not ok to eat the meat of the animal but hey it’s totally fine to skin that animal for a coat or boats, and leave the carcass rotting on the side of the road…
and what you all aren’t even remotely getting? is that you’re sounding the same way…
I stated that not all individual get sexually harassed. i knew that i knew that it was only a matter of time before one of you short sighted, non-thinkers, in your “need to put this james guy in his place” would provide statistics to prove I was right – fully – in my assertion.
and what none of you perceive, is that I’m trying to show you that if you walk around with blinders on, you can’t see the things you’re not looking for…
there is one way to learn, and yes mom taught me this – thank God i was raised by strong independent women!!!
Take both sides of every viewpoint, whether it be history, or ideology. Then compare them, FIND THEIR FLAWS – and make up your own mind, because there are rules to all perceptions
1: history is always written by the victors.
2: viewpoints will always be in favor of the intended concept for sale.
you all are so close to this that you’re not able to step back and view it objectively.
oh and as for the class commentary about “my lineage exploiting” let me tell you a little secret folks.
my family, exists and only exists by the manner we treated all folks, during colonialism. All of which is historically documented. Of course, you’ll have to google it yourself, but I know you won’t do the work. You’re lazy, and angry.
My grandmother? In Indonesia? During the colonization of what was then the “dutch east indies” did more for the workers at her factory, in an era when a: women didn’t run anything. and b: in an ear when women were not yet afforded the right of first station.
oh and my mother? she single handedly, changed the laws in canada toward child support and protection of women and children who have survived an abusive home environment. All the way to the supreme court – to the point where criminal charges were implemented against spousal abuse. You can google that as well.
So i’m not talking out my ass. You’re busy being angry, none of you bothered to find out which family I was born to. None of you bothered to do any research in your aching need to validate your anger and malcontent.
as for me? I’ve already written a course which is used across north america in all the UGM’s as an option to the “10 step programs” which have less than a 15% success rate, while my course has an 80% success rate with zero relapse. But it’s not profitable you see… organizations make money from relapse, not from success… but then you’d have to understand political economics to know that.
That’s the difference between me and you. I’m already in the history books. When you all die, you’ll just be another anonymous headstone in an anonymous cemetery.
so it’s been fun yanking all your chains, but really… your anger collectively, clouds your ability to actually be affective. I’d rather be affective and throw it in your faces.
I have NEVER yet dated anyone who’s quality of life was improved either during, or after we were involved. I have watched more women realize that they’re valuable because of our relationships, in contrast to the crap that I watch my friends go through, because they don’t know how to treat the folks they date, and I have all of them which have stated that they understand why I am the way I am because of my mother, and grandmother – whom I enjoy introducing to them, simply because they whom raised me, are worthy of respect and accolades.
but hey, i guess since you all can’t realize or perceive that, you aren’t able to stomach it.
so enjoy your rage.
enjoy your malcontent.
enjoy your chips on your shoulders.
no one will remember any of you, and no one will notice that you’re not around.
I’ve already made my mark. Losers.
That was poetic!
…I don’t think that’s “Melancholy Baby.”
…however, yes, it was rather Klassik, wasn’t it.
Oh, I think you’ll be remembered for a -while-, Dimmy, at least in Internets time, although probably not the way you think. oh LAWSIE
as for me? I’ve already written a course which is used across north america in all the UGM’s as an option to the “10 step programs” which have less than a 15% success rate, while my course has an 80% success rate with zero relapse. But it’s not profitable you see… organizations make money from relapse, not from success… but then you’d have to understand political economics to know that.
That’s the difference between me and you. I’m already in the history books.
..oh..jesus…can’t…breathe….
I doubt any of you will learn anything from this… but i figured it’s been enough time… I’ll post it now…
I hope at least one of you has enough wisdom to pull your head out of your ass.
http://jmendham.wordpress.com/2009/03/23/violence-in-our-home/
especially you belladame22… since you seem to have the biggest mouth of the group.
i knew exactly what i was doing here… you just shot off your mouth, showing yourself to be a fool.
Okay, Jimbo, I bit. googled Van Leuvaan plus Canada. nada about Moms or Supreme Court cases so far, just your silly Linked In profile, at least for the first three pages. added “child abuse” and then “Supreme Court.” “Canadian Supreme Court.” zilch. tried the alternate “Van Leuven” spelling. sorry, Dimmy. sorry, Dimmy’s Mom. you seem to have spawned a pathological liar, and a very sad one.
maybe I was supposed to be using the Bizarro World Google, where there are “10 step programs” instead of 12 and good starting points for scientific/sociological research are questions like,
“Why are there some women in the entire planet who do -not- report sexual harassment?”
oh well, just one more place on Jimmy’s extensive travel route (this one being one where he’s taken up semi-permanent residence, one gathers) I don’t know.
/mad seething envy of Jimmy’s sophistication as well as his assured place in the history books as author of some obscure addiction relapse something or other
yeah, Lal, narcissists -are- hysterical, at least at this distance.
so, Jim, what about Dad? -pulls up analyst’s lawnchair-
ah, what do you know, cross posted. Well, that’s a bit of a mood killer, isn’t it.
okay, James. It…sounds like there’s some stuff going on for you there. I’m sorry to hear about the violence you grew up with. I still really don’t think you’re understanding or hearing what Natalia or anyone else here is saying, and, yeah, I won’t even begin to unpack all that.
As for the “chain yanking” piece right before that combined with these revelations and all the rest of it…
yeah, no. Not touching it.
um… do you usually assume that the son’s last name is the maiden name of the mom? hmmmm?
or do you just expect that your kids will have your last name and not that of your husband?
the point of the exercise you weak little person, is to do the research on the laws in canada, and the precedents – by legal process, to find out who and what occurred…
it requires reading…education, and research….
unless of course you just think that my last name, is the last name from my mother, and not my father heh…
man, even the most basic of logistics escapes you doesn’t it?
i only respect people who bother. people who yap and do nothing, are just blowing wind and clanging symbols.
who offer nothing
James. How are people supposed to do “research” on someone else’s name when they don’t know what that name even is?
Seriously, no one has time for these games. Whatever they are. Clearly, you’ve got more issues than National Geographic, and sorry and all; but no one here caused them; you were the one who spun out at Natalia on her blog; no one owes you anything. And if this latest bit is more “messing with peoples’ realities”/”chain yanking” for whatever reason–yeah, either way. Not my table, sorry.
I will say, however, that in “researching” I found this:
http://jmendham.wordpress.com/2009/01/08/my-blog/
There are few whom blog, and also have journalistic requirements as a profession, though indeed I have met a few (whom I envy – kidding, lucky buggers)
and then of course from upthread:
but then… i’m a $***-disturber… i get a kick out of watching the average person’s eye’s glaze over and blink because they don’t get it…
I think we understand pretty much all we need to understand about you, James.
Buh bye.
Yeah… I’m supposed to feel terribly sorry for people like James, but I don’t. My father put me in a coma when he found out I was gay (hence the nom de plume; if you’re still wondering) – and my sister was hospitalized because she got in his way on that occasion – but you’re not going to catch me writing perverted comments on other people’s sites or demanding random women to stroke my damaged ego.
Jimmy, whatever your plentiful problems are… nobody on here is responsible for them. I’m going to give you one piece of advice, because I’m feeling generous tonight: you’re not over it. People who are over it don’t have hysterical meltdowns because their great wisdom was -politely- challenged. You need major help, Poeschl was -so- right about that.
What’s this about bloggers? I’m pretty sure that all of here have jobs or maybe are attending school. I work with dogs, like them better than most human beings, and doing my masters part-time. Antonova is a journalist. Et cetera. If you want to exploit other people’s insecurities, you might want to remember that -you- are a goddamn blogger (just a shitty one).
First you implied she’s a hooker, then when that doesn’t get the desired reaction you say we’re obviously all unemployed, now you’re giving us your back-story. Am unimpressed, sweet cheeks.
Other people besides yourself have had shitty childhoods, honey. We don’t feel the need to take it out on attractive women we -totally- don’t have a thing for. Just a thought.
James, I realize that I should have probably banned you for your own good, but Lal’s right, you pissed me off just enough for that option to go off the table.
In the immortal words of Madonna – I’m not your bitch, don’t hang your shit on me.
Get help. Seriously.
I’d like to add this link for JvL as it seems appropriate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKjxFJfcrcA youtube really does have an answer for everything.
BTW, It’s always good to see another gamer out there, as it makes me feel a little less guilty about my own occasional gaming habits. I mean someone has to shoot the zombies/explore the ruins/battle the forces of darkness, right?
Amen.
All some very interesting stuff there. JVL is certain all these folk hate men. Also assumes whatever violence he has witnessed/was a part of trumps whatever violence any of us have witnessed/were a part of. Assumes he is the only one who has ever stepped up in or stopped someone in a violent situation. Also assumes he has no anger issues…
Hold up. For one, no one who has completely let go of their anger or what have you comes onto another persons blog and lets loose with the whole “I am SPECIAL, and you will die a NOBODY” screed. That sort of behavior is rooted in malovence and rage, pure and simple. I also find it rathe amusing, the one person here who probably does make a habit of hanging out with “scum” (me) is also the one who mentions that I don’t get harassed all that often? Could it be that upstanding classy folk are just as capable of that sort of behavior but JVL is so vested in his lineage and whatnot he cannot admit it? I mean, I hate armchair psychology all around, but he claims to be so calm and un-hating, but the behavior he is showing here is frenzied and nothing but hateful.
And if he really does not care what Nat and her readers think, why does he keep coming back and blogging himself about what is going on here?
The gentleman doth protest too much!
Oh, and just from lifes experience and all, I have found people who endlessly go on about how much smarter and better they are than other people are usually not too confident, deep down, about either of those things.
Sorry to hear it, Comakaze. And thanks for the reality check.
It’s funny, you’d think being back in school for psychology I’d be -more- inclined than even before to do armchair on people like James; but y’know, increasingly I’m more like, you know what: it’s my lunch hour. Am I getting paid for this crap? No, no I am not. C’ya.
Wow, Natalia, you’ve dredged up another funny troll. Again!
James, I recognize your game here. Your writing is hilarious. Your presumption that people are angry with you is kinda cute. You are like a tiny little furbee, pumped up with Godzilla-like visions of himself. I wanna tickle you under your tiny little chin! Coochie coochie!
However, I’m here for one reason: I very rarely get the chance to trump people with my sorry-ass childhood stories. My sociopathetic and extremely upperclass father came close to murdering me at least 5 times before he was finally put in prison. I can trump your crappy little stories up one wall and down the other, but I really won’t bother.
What I will say is listen to Comakaze:
“Other people besides yourself have had shitty childhoods, honey. We don’t feel the need to take it out on attractive women we -totally- don’t have a thing for.”
James wrote: “…your anger collectively, clouds your ability to actually be affective. I’d rather be affective and throw it in your faces.”
That’s “effective”, Mr. Harvard grad. And it’s kinda sad that you’ve read this entire thread and yet you cannot see our collective love, humor and comaraderie.
Thanks again for the lolz, Natalia! Comakazie, you are a wise man!
You are like a tiny little furbee, pumped up with Godzilla-like visions of himself. I wanna tickle you under your tiny little chin! Coochie coochie!
Raven wins for that alone.
…ah, ha, I’d missed this (this is what he’s going down in the history books for, please note)
“I made a point to be part of the solution. Most of the different addicts in those 12 step programs have a self worth issue. They abuse others, and in most cases are in some way shape or form have been subjected to abuse.
It is for that reason that I became heavily involved in the recovery process. Of course, I’m intelligent. I had to learn about it. So I conned my way into a “recovery” program. I wanted to see what they were fed. What was the system they were made to swallow.
Then I wrote a course myself. Having lived through it, and not having been a drug addict or alcoholic. I managed to get one Union Gospel Mission to run a test on it, for those participants of their 12 step program, as an elective after they completed that 12 step course.
It took. Over 80% success rate. Granted, out of the 1500 people who took the course, only 10% were able to actually deal with themselves honestly enough to complete the course, but out of those… 80% never had an issue with drugs, alcohol, prostitution, or self worth issues again.”
****
1) “conned” his way into a recovery program, yeah, that armchair sociopath diagnosis is looking better and better
2) 80% success rate! Okay, 80% of the 10% who actually stayed with the program, but hey, 80% success is 80%!! Except, well, it really isn’t, it’s uh 8%, but never mind! Stupid commoners with their common reality-based math! Take THAT, Ten Step Programs! If you’d only cut out those last two steps you could have as good a success rate as I do! You’ll never be in the history books now! Losers.
… AFTER they completed the 12 step course, that is. Which, we are positive (due to our extensive following up and other careful adherence to scientific research procedure) their “never” abusing substances again has NOTHING to do with, but rather Jimmy’s uh program…
drugs, alcohol, “problems with prostitution,” AND “self worth,” that’s awesome. It’s like, the UBER 12 step program, or rather 13th step…
which I confess I now have a morbid curiosity about how it actually -went-, the uh treatment.
“It’s very simple. Stop going into trashy places where trashy people will try to make you do trashy things. Just Say No To Trashy! If you live in a trashy place, move. If you don’t have enough money to move, that’s because you’re trashy. Stop being trashy and you’ll have money, like me. And then you won’t have any more problems with drinking or drugs or prostitution or self worth. Like me! Do you want to be one of those anonymous losers who no one remembers after they’re dead? Well, do you? Well then! Stop drinking and abusing drugs and having problems with prostitution and self worth! No one remembers losers who drink and abuse drugs and have problems with prostitution and have problems with self worth! If you weren’t such a gutter-dwelling loser, you wouldn’t have problems with self worth!”
hahah! i was working and traveling and i came back. and heh… obviously belledame or whatever her virtual persona needs to be is, and has a reading dyslexia… heh
problems drinking? problems with drugs? problems with prostitutes? heh
nice! you really are an internet loser. 😀
I’d be back but i’m going to take your advice 😉 and stay away from “trashy places” 🙂
finally! something useful.
so then 🙂 this should give your “she is on medication and on welfare” little life something to rant, vent and yell and scream about for another month 🙂
heh…. it’s like smacking fish in a barrel. I bet you have all your blinds drawn and go into a hyperventilating fit when someone “OMG!!! :O” knocks at the door.
gotta love the internet crowd. they are so afraid of life, they spend all their time frantically running around find a “cause” through blogs 🙂
glad I could help <(##<) (>##)>
One phrase, Jimmy: STFU. We’ve passed you by a long time ago.
Anthony
heh, just thought i’d let you know. quite a few of the people on your ‘comment’ list have had their accounts suspended. I find that hilarious. I never lose, but then I never talk out my ass, and well, lets face it. When you all die, you’ll get a nice little service, be dropped in a hole. Have a slab of marble shoved over where your heads are suppose to be, and no one will remember any of you.
and then, 25 to 50 years from after you’ve been buried, a shopping center or condo complex will be built over top of you. Without the slightest concern for all the things you thought were relevant.
Of course, none of those things will happen to me, or anyone in my family tree, but then, I get along with most everyone in person.
You all, only have the internet, to give yourselves relevance.
have a happy new year! count them all, because no one cares or knows any of you.
lol
Happy New Year, Van Douche!
I’ll be on the lookout for your name in the papers, Van Douche. On top of a bell tower. Seriously, you have that vibe. Seek help before it’s too late.
yes I’ve had an encounter on the internet with so called “james” (if such a character even exists) and I can vouche for his stupidity when it comes to anything regarding sexuality equality.