Reasons not to hate autumn

If you have seasonal depression like me – especially if said depression is being abetted by something else that’s crappy – you need this list. It was put together with help and inspiration from Sarah, who is a true autumn-lover. Autumn, for me, is like some good-looking but terrible man who arrives in town once every nine months and messes with my head for a while before he rides off into the sunset to mess with someone else’s head, probably blaring Leatherbag or Noir Desir on his stereo as he goes.

And here is how I cope with him and his bullshit:

Mulled wine (served at Gogolfest last night, yea-ah)
Gogolfest
Octoberfest
Apples
Cider
Wearing boots
Crunching on leaves
The smell of leaves burning
An excuse to stay in with a book when it’s raining
An excuse to sit in a cafe with a book when it’s raining
An excuse to blare “November Rain”
An excuse to give someone a dirty look when they criticize you for blaring “November Rain,” and tell them to fuck right off
Less annoying insects
Less sweat
Meditating upon the transience of all biological life (in an enlightened, Keatsian way)
The sound of leaves scraping against pavement in the wind
Harvest
Wearing slippers indoors (my new ones feature caveman-esque drawings of reindeer)
Colour
Getting into a hot bath after freezing your ass off outside
Any excuse to get warm (haw haw)
Better vodka-drinking weather
Better everything-drinking weather, actually
Wearing stockings
Conspicuous lack of bloated summer blockbusters
Coats. With pockets. For storing MP3 players and other items crucial to one’s psychological well-being (such as gum)
No worrying about how your ass looks in those shorts
Children are back in school and thus have less time and energy to draw dicks on the sidewalk with chalk (or maybe that’s a bad thing?)

I think this is a pretty good list, but if you’ve got stuff to add, please do so.

10 thoughts on “Reasons not to hate autumn

  1. Autumn is actually my favourite time of year. I get a kind of reverse-SAD – I’m miserable in the summer but as soon as autumn comes along I’m happy and perky again.

    Your seventh one – crunching on leaves – is my and my son’s favourite thing to do at this time of year. We deliberately walk out of our way on the way to preschool to go through through grassy tree-lined areas and make big piles of crunchy leaves to jump in. 😀

  2. Sorry about your SAD. I have to say that for someone who spreads the feminist gospel you spend way too much time worrying about your looks.

  3. Tabby, many women worry about looks, feminists too. I refer to this condition as being human. Being honest about it can take a lot of courage.

    Natalia: are the DUKE shorts the ones we are talking about? I just saw your ass in them recently. Looks delicious.

    My reasons not to hate autumn: hot pies in the kitchen, more twilight hours and more hot chocolate.

  4. I’m going to take the risk of sounding like a creep and point out that you do have a nice ass. It’s a fact of nature. My wife thinks you’re pretty good-looking too, so I think I’m off the hook in this instance.

    Please don’t feel like you need to be Super Woman 24/7. Seasonal depression sucks, break-ups suck, uncertainty sucks. Just remember there are people who adore you virtually on every continent. You do great work you’re fun to be around. My best friend Hank is still madly in love with you (he’ll punch me if he reads this). You don’t have to paste on a smile, but don’t get too down.

    Reasons to like autumn? All of them. My favorite season.

  5. well, fellow SAD-sufferer, I do like your list of reasons not to hate a season which I also dislike for the most part.

    On the positive list for me:

    – Liverpool FC playing soccer/football again;
    – Traktor Chelyabinsk with fresh hopes of a better KHL season (LOL!);
    – fresh pumpkin everything;
    – easier to work and sleep in places with no A/C;
    – watching all those foreign movies I picked up over the summer but never watched because i was outside most of the time;
    – wearing shorts and sandals while also wearing a jacket;
    – fewer flies, mosquitoes and other annoying bugs.

  6. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. My ass thanks you too.

    Tabby, yeah, sometimes I obsess about my looks. Other times, I obsess about TV show characters, or, you know, the perfect bloody mary, or something.

  7. I get ‘Summer SAD’ so Autumn is actually a very happy time for me. Having read your other blog, I think you should treat yourself to a box of lush goodies regularly until Spring – that’ll get you through Winter :D.

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