Pregnant with a “patriarchal oppressor”!

(Officially confirmed by ultrasound. But I knew as much anyway.)

If my instincts are correct, this one will be a boy’s boy. A bit of an Alexander the Great (or Alexander of Macedonia, as they call him around here) underneath it all. A combination of his father’s spirit and his mother’s dorkage, I think.

One person has already asked me if I’m “relieved” that the future kid has the right set of genitals. I mean, we all know that husbands want boys. Russian husbands especially. According to all the usual stereotypes, that is.

I’m happy that something that I thought is probably the case looks like it is actually the case, for sure. I’m happy for another moment of clarity. I feel relief at the fact that so far, this pregnancy is going to plan, and hope that it will keep going to plan. I don’t feel that there is any dissonance between myself and my husband on these matters. He’s happy that we’re having a kid. It’s our latest collaboration, and it’s pretty damn cool.

This week, I was also amused to read about how:

“Funfems object to being called cum guzzling pole dancers, not because that is a rude thing to say, but because it’s true.”

Oh God, ahahaha. I wish I could pole dance with the baby bump.

Though it’s funny how once they’re aware of your pregnancy, people attempt to strip away everything that makes you, well, you. You can’t be sexual, because you’re a “mommy” (even though, like Sarah Jaffe pointed out to me the other day – pregnancy can be used as visible evidence of the fact that you are, in fact, sexual). And you can’t be radical – because mommies are soft and cuddly creatures. And people forget that you have a job. And they don’t think it’s nice of you to write plays with zombies in them (my new one has zombies. Again. But maybe this one won’t get ripped to shreds by Maks Kurochkin. Maybe).

That last thing is really the worst, isn’t it? Hands off my zombies. Alexander of Macedonia loves them too.

6 thoughts on “Pregnant with a “patriarchal oppressor”!

  1. Congratulations on your continuing collaboration with your husband, and heartfelt wishes for everything to go according to plan.

    I have a question: After your son is born, do you plan to practice “Russian Baby Gymnastics” as reported by the BBC and swing your son by his legs around your head and shoulders? Is that how you and your brother were brought up?:)

    The BBC News web article can be found at, “Baby gymnastics: Russia’s ‘potentially dangerous’ therapy” by Steve Rosenberg, 14 February 2011.

  2. I think Alexander is such a nice name :).

    As for the soft and gentle mother stereotype? What I pile of crap! Any mother of any species has a dark homicidal streak she is quite prepared to unleash if she suspects her young are in danger. Let’s put it this way, if I was a Zombie I would NOT want to find myself on the wrong side of a pissed-off Mommy-to-be. Especially not one with a stack of LP’s under her arm (think ‘Shaun of the Dead’ LOL).

    I hope everything continues to tick a long nicely and look forward to the debut of Alexander the Great x

  3. I really think the passive mommy narrative really only belongs to a certain group of women. WOC, poor mothers, lesbian mothers, disabled mothers have all had to fight for their rights and the rights of their children. There is nothing passive about motherhood, and those who believe the opposite have never come face to face with a mother who feels her child is in danger.

  4. I find it weird when people apply this narrative to me, because I always feel that I have to fight tooth and nail to keep it together. I had to do it before the pregnancy, and I have to do it now – whether it’s finances, or health, or my family, etc. I actually want to step away from the “fighter” narrative a little bit, because I can often turn it into something very self-destructive, and find more balance, but there’s a vast difference between that and, well, passivity.

    So when someone says, “Oh, so you’re pregnant now, aren’t you bored? Sitting at home, watching TV…” I’m like – WHAT? Let me begin by saying that I barely have a home right now (though I’m working to fix that). But whatever, some people will never get it.

  5. Congratulations on Alexander The Great Macedonian, and best wishes for a continued smooth pregnancy. I only know about raising future patriarchal oppressors (having only those and no womynchild),but I think having a funfem mom will be a good thing for them.

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