This discussion about madness & the Icarus Project on Feministe ended up getting shut down because people ended up talking past each other and there was a lot of anger and feelings ended up hurt. With all due respect – as I said over there before the comments were closed – how the hell do you avoid having a discussion about mental illness and what it means and doesn’t mean without people getting trampled on? Is that even possible?

I think there are fine engagement rules that can facilitate honest debate (or bury it, depending on which way the wind is blowing), but personally, I don’t exactly attempt to be careful about the emotions of those around me when it comes to discussing mental illness. There are statements I have patience for and statements I do not have any patience for, and there’s that. I’m more or less grimly amused when, for example, someone shows up on my blog and asks me how I can possibly consider having children after suffering from PTSD. On the other hand, I refuse to be told off by people who tell me to stop using the word “crazy” as an insult – because, guess what? I own that word as much as anyone who has ever had it used to dehumanize them does. And I happen to think it’s a great word that has a variety of connotations – both negative and positive. I will not have my language purged of it.

I’m OK with hosting a largely unmoderated discussion on mental illness here, especially since one of the things I saw wrong with the discussion on Feministe was all of the assumptions people made about each other in their defensiveness (coming from an intensely personal experience, that’s actually quite normal) – assumptions such as “you’re just one of those people who thinks it’s cool to go off their meds and torment others” or “you’re just one of those people who thinks it’s awesome to strap people into chairs and give them injections that can harm them.”

I think if people can bear with each other and talk it out, they realize that nothing as extreme is being proposed – at the very least, I didn’t see anything extreme going on at Feministe.

It isn’t surprising that saying “people should try to manage their conditions” is going to be interpreted as “x and y and z should be mandatory for all the crazies.” It is, however, frustrating, because having been on both sides of the fence, I don’t think that managing one’s condition automatically includes mandatory medication (how about mandatory therapy sessions?).

I think it certainly includes a discussion of various social arrangements, however – especially as this pertains to custody of children, visitation rights, restraining orders, emergency contacts, and other flotsam and jetsam of human relationships.

Continue reading “Mad is as mad does”