Bring Her Kasha and Caviar: A Horror Story With Illustrations

It’s no secret that even the most humble individuals occasionally get a rush of sweet, sugary satisfaction when they get the chance to feel superior to someone. I know you’re probably reading this and going “Nope. Not me.” at your computer monitor.

Yes, YOU, pumpkin. And me.

What happens, however, when the person you’re supposed to be superior to doesn’t get it? When they turn the tables? And don’t even keep it to themselves, like a decent-minded asshole would?

Names, identities, and locations have been altered in order to protect the guilty. Continue reading “Bring Her Kasha and Caviar: A Horror Story With Illustrations”

Shorter Cath Elliott & Co.:

“You can be a deviant, dearie. Just not where I can see it.”

On a less snarky note: do I believe that people can be triggered by BDSM posts? Absolutely, I do. But this alone does not mean that BDSM can only be talked about in disparaging terms on the various feminist sites out there. Plenty of stuff on feminist sites brings up some rather horrific images for me, and not all of it comes with a warning either. Doesn’t mean I get to tell the authors to STFU.

And you know what, perhaps women want to talk about their BDSM experiences in a feminist context because, guess what, the assumption that one cannot enjoy BDSM or else that one could not possibly call oneself a feminist while practicing BDSM is something they wish to challenge?

Personally, I’m tired of the “SHUT UP about X being empowerfulizing” argument that gets thrown around, both in relation to sex and other matters, just as I am tired of the bloody hierarchies and such. The “SHUT UP” thing rarely addresses the actual substance of any given argument or related experience. It’s the death of nuance. I can’t live without nuance.

It’s like saying, “you know, I really rather love The Death of Ivan Ilyich. It’s really too bad that the author was so horribly sexist, but this passage, for example, on page…”

And hearing in response something like, “SHUT UP! You just loooove that sexist bastard Leo Tolstoy, don’t you? How TYPICAL! He hated women. HATED WOMEN. And you love him because you’re a male-identified sparklepony sellout idiot! Hah!”

– “But… no. That’s not what I said at all. I think it’s truly unfortunate how misogyny permeated the work of great writers such as Tolstoy. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t look at this book and take something out of it, like, for example…”

– “SHUT UP! He called death a ‘She’! That’s all I need to know! You love misogyny!”

– “Actually, it was ‘It’ in the original Russian. Anyway, as I was saying…

– “Misogyny! You love it!”

– “But you’re being unreasonable…”

– “WHAT? You said women are unreasonable?”

– “Um, OK. Screw this.”

– “Get back here! I’ll bite your legs off!”

etc.

Why sleep with a boy? Natalia regails you all with personal musings on sexuality!

Please note that this post stems from a discussion started here – at Twisty’s blog. Also note – I have bolded the nickname “undercover punk” so that reading this rather long post is easier on you.

I moonlight as a valiant defender of my own brand of cynical, eurotrash feminism over at Twisty’s quite a bit these days. I find that the discussion does occasionally get interesting. I like to dialogue with people – especially with radical feminists – and the opportunities for that are rare.

Now, I have met a radical feminist who goes by undercover punk. Undercover punk recently asked this question:

If a woman claims to be conscious of the many insidious ways that patriarchal dominance and oppression invades our everyday lives and our private relationships, AND feels any sexual attraction to women (and considering how the female body is so fetishized by mainstream culture, I really cannot conceive of any way NOT to internalize this at lease to some small degree), WHY would a smart, rational woman choose to sleep with men at all????

I replied that even though I enjoy looking at women as much as men, sex with the former doesn’t appeal to me. I also found that the question had an underlying assumption that it’s dumb and irrational to sleep with men – an assumption that undercover punk says isn’t there. Undercover punk went on to ask more questions – these of a more personal nature. I decided to take my reply to my own blog, since I didn’t want my response to turn into an epic derail.

Here are three important facts, before I get started:

1. Even though I enjoy looking at women (and frequently post pictures of women I consider beautiful on this blog), I do not identify as bisexual.

2. I am presently in a committed, long-term relationship with a man. Have been for… geez, over 5 years now. Holy crap. Gettin old.

3. I don’t think that human sexuality is either constructed or immutable. I think for all people, there’s a degree of both. How large a degree, either way? Depends on the individual in question.

OK, now, on to the more personal stuff! Pull up a chair, grab a beer/popcorn/Valium, and enjoy!

Continue reading “Why sleep with a boy? Natalia regails you all with personal musings on sexuality!”