On believing

No American, or, for that matter, Ukrainian (Russian, ex-Soviet, whatever) person I know has brushed me off when I talked about that one New Year’s Eve. The Special New Year’s Eve. Special for many reasons, but here is the obvious one – the one that involved me getting surrounded by friends of friends on a stairwell, and being called a “vulgar American” and, even, “pig” (“But I’m just drunk and trying to make a joke” – didn’t cut it, when I started crying.). This had been a Good Party, thrown by a Good Girl. It had been a party with guitars and singing and pricey champagne. I walked out of it, at six in the morning in torn stockings and a none-too-warm coat, and kept walking for miles, because everything, everything – even the trash on the sidewalk and the hungover gas station attendant’s belaboured whistling, was better than a Good Party, with Good Kids like that.

“Well, I’m not surprised!” My old friend from primary school told me later. “Shit happens. There are enough morons to fill nearly the whole of Kreschatik on every weekend. And half of them have diplomas!”

Similar stories involving Americans get a variety of responses (even if you’re talking to someone you consider a good friend) – some of them unpleasant. I’m all for diversity of thought, but …. It makes you wonder.

Sometimes it’s OK to feel wronged. I’m getting used to that idea right now. Where to go from here? Hmmm… To Kreschatik, I suppose. 😉

3 thoughts on “On believing

  1. Your title for this post (“On believing”), your final point here that “it’s OK to feel wronged,” and your quote from this post in your own final comment dated September 14 on your post about your “Special Evening” (posted September 4), lead me to think that you might have read my comment on your “Special Evening” post as implicitly questioning your veracity, especially my phrases “I find it unbelievable” and “I can’t believe.” If so, then I should have chosen my words more carefully. I didn’t mean to imply that I was doubting your honesty. In fact, I took the truthfulness of your report for granted, if it was actually meant as a factual report (which you affirmed it was). I used the words “unbelievable” and “believe” simply to indicate that your New York intellectual’s bigotry was completely new to me. I now realize that my choice of words could be construed as calling you a liar, which was not my intent at all. I apologize for any misunderstanding my comment might have caused. I take your truthfulness for granted.

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