If you don’t feel like reading this latest rant of mine – check out my Gaza-themed guest post on Feministe. I tried to be a little more thoughtful than usual.
Welcome to round 1324573645 of “neener-neener, you’re a SLUT!”
With a feminist bent, no less!
Behold, noted “radical feminist” Stormy, on the subject of rape and “sex-positive” women:
“Blow-up dolls have not stopped rape. Lots of freely available “sex-positive” women have not stopped rape, so it’s not just about jerking off into a hole and freely available sex.”
Oh boy. Ohboyohboyohboy.
Now, I know what you might say: “Natalia, maybe you’re just reading too much into it…? Surely, she doesn’t mean what you think she means. Perhaps it’s all comes down to poor word-choice? She does make some good points about rape overall, cut her some slack, why don’t you?”
And I will still say:
You know, I don’t necessarily identify as “sex-positive.” Much like my pal Renegade, I think it is a largely UNHELPFUL and DIVISIVE term. But I do know that people of my “type” are often described as sex-positive. I post pictures of myself eating necklaces, I post pictures of shirtless guys being shirtless – I get that the label can often come with the territory, therefore…
Yes, the “freely available” line doesn’t just piss me off, I find it downright creepy. This wouldn’t be the first time some woman somewhere has spoken about my “tribe,” as it were, in this manner. It erases my agency and presents me as an object that a guy could pick up off a shelf – if he were so inclined.
It also assumes that I am – what, exactly? Some sort of organic barrier meant to keep the rapists away from nice women who want to keep their legs crossed? A hedge with tits, maybe?
Not only is this sexist, it is also incredibly stupid, considering the fact that for millions of the world’s women, consent is a different subject altogether. They might not consider what happens to them rape, the law might not consider what happens to them rape – but in families and communities where men pretty much rule, and yes, those situations can exist right alongside “dirty” women like me, do they honestly have much choice in most matters pertaining to sex…? So while these women may certainly be “available,” something tells me they are not the “sex pox happy hookers hot bisexee” stereotype (well, nobody really fits into that stereotype, to begin with, but whatever) she’s babbling about, or should even be concerned about, for that matter, in trying to tease out just what on earth we can do about the global pandemic of sexual violence.
But overall, I just love being conflated with a blow-up doll. There is something so… postmodern about it.
I had just exited a cab today when some eager young man started pointing and yelling something that sounded like “Russi! Russeeeeeee!” from the sidewalk.
“Clearly, I look Eastern European to this gentleman,” I thought while adjusting the bag on my shoulder. “Why does he feel the need to point this out? Is it merely unrestrained, child-like glee at seeing his favourite sexual stereotype out and about in broad daylight? Does he want to solicit sex from me, but isn’t sure how to go about it?”
I normally don’t glance in the direction of people who accost me on the street in Amman, but this time, I did. It was only to flick him off, of course, but damn. Flicking him off felt good. Much better than pretending I didn’t hear him.
And then I realized the real reason why I get so worked up whenever another clueless “feminist” bloviates on bad, BAD girls like me – when you get it from both sides, you especially need the opportunity to proudly hold up that middle finger.
It’s largely a useless gesture – we’re not human beings to these people, we never will be – but it also makes me feel rather heroic, like a Spartan at Thermopylae.