Sexist crap – from a supposed “radical feminist” – AGAIN

If you don’t feel like reading this latest rant of mine – check out my Gaza-themed guest post on Feministe. I tried to be a little more thoughtful than usual.

Welcome to round 1324573645 of “neener-neener, you’re a SLUT!”

With a feminist bent, no less!

Behold, noted “radical feminist” Stormy, on the subject of rape and “sex-positive” women:

“Blow-up dolls have not stopped rape. Lots of freely available “sex-positive” women have not stopped rape, so it’s not just about jerking off into a hole and freely available sex.”

Oh boy. Ohboyohboyohboy.

Now, I know what you might say: “Natalia, maybe you’re just reading too much into it…? Surely, she doesn’t mean what you think she means. Perhaps it’s all comes down to poor word-choice? She does make some good points about rape overall, cut her some slack, why don’t you?”

And I will still say:

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.”

You know, I don’t necessarily identify as “sex-positive.” Much like my pal Renegade, I think it is a largely UNHELPFUL and DIVISIVE term. But I do know that people of my “type” are often described as sex-positive. I post pictures of myself eating necklaces, I post pictures of shirtless guys being shirtless – I get that the label can often come with the territory, therefore…

Yes, the “freely available” line doesn’t just piss me off, I find it downright creepy. This wouldn’t be the first time some woman somewhere has spoken about my “tribe,” as it were, in this manner. It erases my agency and presents me as an object that a guy could pick up off a shelf – if he were so inclined.

It also assumes that I am – what, exactly? Some sort of organic barrier meant to keep the rapists away from nice women who want to keep their legs crossed? A hedge with tits, maybe?

Not only is this sexist, it is also incredibly stupid, considering the fact that for millions of the world’s women, consent is a different subject altogether. They might not consider what happens to them rape, the law might not consider what happens to them rape – but in families and communities where men pretty much rule, and yes, those situations can exist right alongside “dirty” women like me, do they honestly have much choice in most matters pertaining to sex…? So while these women may certainly be “available,” something tells me they are not the “sex pox happy hookers hot bisexee” stereotype (well, nobody really fits into that stereotype, to begin with, but whatever) she’s babbling about, or should even be concerned about, for that matter, in trying to tease out just what on earth we can do about the global pandemic of sexual violence.

But overall, I just love being conflated with a blow-up doll. There is something so… postmodern about it.

I had just exited a cab today when some eager young man started pointing and yelling something that sounded like “Russi! Russeeeeeee!” from the sidewalk.

“Clearly, I look Eastern European to this gentleman,” I thought while adjusting the bag on my shoulder. “Why does he feel the need to point this out? Is it merely unrestrained, child-like glee at seeing his favourite sexual stereotype out and about in broad daylight? Does he want to solicit sex from me, but isn’t sure how to go about it?”

I normally don’t glance in the direction of people who accost me on the street in Amman, but this time, I did. It was only to flick him off, of course, but damn. Flicking him off felt good. Much better than pretending I didn’t hear him.

And then I realized the real reason why I get so worked up whenever another clueless “feminist” bloviates on bad, BAD girls like me – when you get it from both sides, you especially need the opportunity to proudly hold up that middle finger.

It’s largely a useless gesture – we’re not human beings to these people, we never will be – but it also makes me feel rather heroic, like a Spartan at Thermopylae.

SPAR-TA.

15 thoughts on “Sexist crap – from a supposed “radical feminist” – AGAIN

  1. “It also assumes that I am – what, exactly? Some sort of organic barrier meant to keep the rapists away from nice women who want to keep their legs crossed? A hedge with tits, maybe?”

    Well, there is the odd sex posi argument that sex crime goes up & etc.

    Signed

    Call me a Cab

    Swedish sex crimes up over a third since sex purchase outlawed.
    By stephenpaterson
    http://stephenpaterson.wordpress.com/2009/01/05/swedish-sex-crimes-up-over-a-third-since-sex-purchase-outlawed/

  2. Well, there is the odd sex posi argument that sex crime goes up & etc.

    There’s something ironic about using the phrase “sexi posi argument” in a post where the OP decries the use of the designation “sex positive feminism”, not to mention the interesting way of taking such an unwelcome name and making it diminutive.

    Strike the ironic. It’s disrespectful.

    In any case, the argument that women should be able to do with their bodies what they want, including share it (an get the shared body of) a partner or parterns when they want, has no reason to be anywhere near “sex crimes”. It’s integral to feminism that it is about women being able to accomplish shit and be independent adults. Sex is part of that.

    Gods do I wish some feminists would give up on that 1800s “Angel of the Parlor” bullshit.

  3. When i think of Radical feminism in the context of this blog I can’t help but recall the apostate pakistani girl and the apostate herself; both are Pakistani Islamophobe women with what sounds like and probably is a psychotic hatred of muslim men. Their mutually supportive diatribes are often sick.
    Apg, [this portion of your comment has been edited out – rumours can be a dangerous thing. You can’t fight poison with poison, imho. Not trying to be noble, just trying to do the right thing.] returned as jasminefrompakistan and has written reams about how bad us Ukrainians are; wtf? She does this under a rad fem banner which is fucking despicable. Summary, apg or Jasmine blogs in Urdu and Arabic about how evil white women are and how evil muslim men are twisting feminism in a deeply screwed up racist way- that glorifies Pakistan.
    Odd also, apg and the apostate never said tut about Gaza and are no doubt gloating over it.
    Apg, you ever thought about signing up for the Israeli Army and taking along your fellow Paki apostate as your boss.
    Yeah, so much so radical feminism.

  4. Tatiana, I’ve thought about how to respond to your comment, and I’m just not sure, since I consider APG and Apostate to be two wildly different people. I don’t often agree with Apostate, but I’ve certainly enjoyed her blog in the past.

    I have noticed some disturbing links between racism and radical feminism – but the same can also be said for feminism as a whole, unfortunately. I wouldn’t paint all of radical feminism with the same brush, just as I wouldn’t do it to feminism in general.

    I will admit, however, that radical feminism in particular can get to me like nothing else. The exclusion of trans people, for example, is especially problematic, imho. I also find that many radfem comments on Slavic women to be equally… ugh. In personal interactions, I have encountered radical feminists who want to save me from myself, and I feel especially demeaned when this happens.

  5. I tried to help apg having understood that she was mostly either high-delusional-psychotic and suffering from ptsd- take your pick.
    And I admired her for putting her neck on the line in many ways. She liked the fact that I am East European and knew more than most. Nice girl, so I thought and maybe we could be friends, which is what she appeared to need.
    After several calls to her at my own expense we did build up a bit of frienship and I got to know more about her background. She is not very easy to understand due to her strong Pakistani-UK accent, but there you go.
    When did things turn horrible? When I told her I was dating a Palestinian student from Jenin. The abuse I got was terrific and she literally turned psycho on me. I called her back, but she was even worse, said I had lied to her and destroyed her mind and on and on until I had to hang up.
    I have had no contact with her since.
    What I think deep down is that there are people on the hard left who who provide some sort of political context for this insanity.
    And I blame them more than apg whose pain is all too easily manipulated.

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