Why feminist blogging sucks

It sucks because of the fucking idiots.

Really.

Let me tell you a story: when I was 17, I really wanted to go to college. And I got accepted – all the way to Duke University, Eruditio et Religio et Huge-ass Fees. At the time I was accepted, my family were genuinely in a place where they could help out with said fees. By the time I was starting my sophomore year, my family was nowhere near being able to help out with the fees. ‘Cause that’s what happens sometimes. Circumstances change, and it’s not as if there are safety nets in place to help people when they’re already in free-fall – especially if those people happen to be immigrants.

So I got stuck with some huge student loans. And although I am committed to paying them off, I am also in a place right now where I could be picking between “make loan payments” and “make hospital payments for me and my baby.” I didn’t plan on this to happen either, I thought the future would be fairly solid for at least a year or so – and BOY was I wrong. I’m in a situation right now where I can barely afford prenatal vitamins day in and day out, let alone food. And it’s not because I don’t work, I work my ass off – while heavily pregnant – but unexpected expenses keep coming up (like needing laser eye surgery to prevent retinal detachment, woo! And dealing with an insurance company that wants me to wait for months to get treatment in a state clinic when I will lose my fucking retina if I wait for months, double woo!), and freelance gigs keep falling through for both my husband and myself, and chronic pain can take me out for an entire day when I could be being productive.

I have a donate button on this blog – for the fiction that I have published here in the past. I haven’t been able to publish any new fiction – because sitting at a computer for hours literally hurts. I try to do my best, but I am running out of options, and it sucks.

So then I read posts like the one I linked above, that pretends to care about “poor people” and people who no longer have their health, and I’m just like – please. Just stop it. Please.

It sucks that I even have to flay myself open, as Jill put in her original post on the issues in the feminist blogosphere, to get my point across – but whatever. I don’t even care about that anymore. I am tired. Lord, I am tired.

35 thoughts on “Why feminist blogging sucks

  1. Seriously. As if people don’t have enough issues in their offline lives already!

    (Oh, wait. I’m being a cheerleader, I guess. I should never say anything supportive of anyone. I forgot.)

  2. Wow. I don’t even know what to make of the post you linked to. Are they being serious or satirical?

    I’ve been following the comments on Jill’s post and I shake my head that some people are STILL missing the point. So many people think she’s going ‘Oh, don’t criticize me! I’m only one person!’ but to me it seems to be more a case of ‘Can we not have every comments section turn into melee?’. At least, that’s my interpretation based on the fact that every comments section seems to turn into a melee.

  3. Hi…I am a long time reader and first or second time commenter and I just wanted to sayOMG YES!!!!! that jilly person is an absolute asshole and is the type of person that is hurting progressive blogging…she doesn’t care about human rights issues..she just wants to use the term privlage…not as a way to look at the world differntly but as a weapon…a way to make herself feel supiorer to others…Same goes to all others that dogpile on others for having the audacity to use everyday words like idiot, crazy or lame…it is all about feeling self rigtious and I am a better feminist/liberal then thou…

    Gosh this has become quite a rant! It has been on my mind for a very long time and is a reason I perfer to just read and not comment!

  4. I used to blog, and I gave it up, not so much because people were targeting me (or “calling me out”, whatever) but because being really involved in the feminist blogosphere made me realize just how much assholishness people get away with in the name of social justice. I couldn’t deal with it, even from a distance. I burned out before I even started.

    I’m unemployed and can’t donate, despite how much I would like to because it sounds like you’re going through a shitty time and everyone online is pretty much trying to make it worse, but I want to know that I think you’re awesome. I’m new to your blog, but I’ve always appreciated your comments on Feministe, and I hope you don’t let the assholes drive you away.

    I guess this makes me part of the privileged lady cheering section?

  5. I think that Jill’s response to Latoya was really good.

    Also, I should probably just get around to doing that post on naturism I meant to do for Feministe a while back. Because screw the jackasses, srsly.

  6. Maybe she will. Or she won’t. I don’t know. I think that at this point, she has made a number of good points. (And one of those points was that talking about Yee’s book in this context was altogether wrong)

  7. But why? Surely the book could be promoted like other books have, no? I just don’t think not having the time is a good excuse.

  8. It’s not about making excuses – obviously, the book should be promoted (and there will be a guest review of it on Feministe – as I’m sure you’ve read), but talking about the book *in the context of the toxic call-out culture on feminist blogs* was an issue. It’s not as if some Shameless editor showed up in the Feministe comments section to call Jill an asshole for having overlooked the book.

    This doesn’t detract from the fact that the call-out culture is still real, and still, for the most part, highly toxic, counter-productive, and plain stupid.

  9. I think that jillycantspelly person is being ironic. Is anybody besides Phyllis Schlafly that fucking annoying while still taking herself seriously?

    I wish I could donate to your cause, Nat, but I’m pretty poor too. Have you tried the journalist-in-danger option to get your healthcare covered in a country where childbirth is free? The UK? Canada? Sweden? I knew an American battered wife who claimed refugee status to fanaggle her way into Canada. That was a long time ago, when the Chretien Liberals were still in, so things might be different here now. But there must be a country somewhere that would cover some of your health costs, I mean you might lose your retinas? OUCH!

  10. I’m debating writing my own post in response to that particular thread, because I kind of feel for everyone involved.

    I can understand the concern that it’s not JUST Jill that’s missed this book.. it’s a lot of people and I can see how that may appear as though it’s being systemically ignored.

    I can see how it could be frustrating to point this out only to be told ‘well, you need a better PR person.’

    I can see Jill’s frustration at being jumped on because she missed ONE email about ONE book and thus neglected to address it. Unfortunately, she missed the wrong email and that oversight has only served to reinforce the view that some commenters and other bloggers have of her as the privileged white lady who is just talking AT them.

    I also agree that although calling people out CAN be helpful if someone says something completely clueless and offensive, but why people feel the need to be an asshole about it is beyond me.

    I agree with the people who have also mentioned that not every has a degree in women’s studies, and Hell, I have a degree in sociology and I STILL get too intimidated to comment in case I get called out for saying something stupid.

  11. I hope things get better for you. If I get a little money someday soon, I will send you some. BTW I can’t read “Feministe” because their posts are so long I can never make it to the end of one. 🙂

  12. Natalia you can always prostitute yourself, thats one sure way of getting a book deal….HaaaHaaa.

    Your losing your eyes, you lost them along time ago. HaaaHaaa

    Don’t bother with the surgery, its way too late too fix,there, I just helped improve your financial situation. Thank You..HaaaHaaa

    Dear Natalia, its your forever Anonymous. How are you doing? Life treating you fine? Beautiful as ever? Enjoying your big TaaaTaaas? Hahaaa

    You see Natalia if you had taken up my offer to marry me and come to Canada, you wouldn’t have to worry squate about your medical needs? The climate in Canada is made for writers…what a shame…too miss an opportunity to be with me and Canada…what a shame Anti-HaaaHaaa

    Is it going to be a boy or a girl or a Russian? HaaaHaaa

    Yours Anonymous

    Ps Your ass is big!!!!!HaaaHaaa

  13. Damn, I thought Canadians were supposed to comparatively polite. I guess we have our weirdos too.

    Idiots like this are the reason I consider myself lucky I’m not in a position where I have to post my photo beside the things I write.

    AS IF big taa taas are an excuse for stupid comments like that! Come join us at Slutwalk, Fuckface. We’ll show you what YOU’RE “asking for”.

    PS the yellow streak up your back is pretty fuckin big too! Chickenshit fuck.

  14. Nah, this is just Wulfie or whatever his nickname was back when we first met at MuslimWakeup! forums. He’s being growing up, but still likes to pretend he’s 12 for the sake of nostalgia (I guess).

  15. Really? Ok, Nat. None of my business then.
    You do get some really stupid trolls around here, tho. I know. I’ve been accused of being one too.

    Good luck with everything. You know, you might be able to sneak into a Canadian hospital to deliver The Globe, if you can convince them you were working here and you just spontaneously went into labour. Look into it first, tho. Our Child Protection Agencies don’t follow the same privacy and freedom laws as the Americans. In that respect, the Americans are right about us. We ARE living in a totalitarian state. You could also get a nasty surprise if your insurance company decides to double bill you for using a foreign hospital. It never hurts to ask a professional, tho. You might be able to save a whole lotta money.

    I hear Sarah Palin–Mrs. Frikkin’ Teabag fanaggled free health services out of our gvt. It’s only fair to extend that privilege to somebody I ACTUALLY LIKE who’s NOT a filthy stinkin rich politician.

  16. XENA IS TRULY A LOSER!!!!!

    “What would I do in Canada?”

    Natalia we just had an election where one of the running candidates was a first generation Russian!!!

    By the way our New Prime Minister is of Ukrainian descent!!!!!

    Your a talented writer, im sure you can make a name for yourself here in canada, easily so. Besides our climate is very similar to russia. Come. Its your choice…..

    12 is better than 42, unless your getting botax injected in your face, here about that….

    Muslim Wakeup, blast from the past that whole site is gone, i think alqaida had something to do with it, I guess we wont have to deal with them again obama/osama is gona, haha

    Hey whatever happen to your friend deidre?

    All the best with your new family, Im sure your new big Taaas taaas will be delicios for husband and healthy child. Stop writing and rest for your childs sake….

    Whuddup, Vulfgang, Anonymous

    a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

    PS Who needs breast implants, just have kids. HaaaHaaa

    Pps Slutwalk?!?!?@
    Go feminists Go!!!??$&^%
    Go Chaz Go….what the f…

  17. 😉 I’d love to test that hypothesis, Nat. Me and Anonymous(?!?) somewhere around Church and Wellesley, drawing our tools at high noon, cheered on by a sea of queens and transpeople. Who will be Bad and who will be just Plain Ugly?

  18. Oh, and Stephen Harper’s a fascist asshole. Thank Democracy and the Quebecois for Jack Layton and his NDP opposition.

  19. Asshole is as asshole does, tho, Ukranian or not. Ukranian has nothing to do with why Harper’s an asshole.

    Ignatieff’s platform wasn’t too bad. But he’s a much better academic than “man of the people”, and that’s where he hurt his own campaign. His writings on the subject of political philosophy are excellent. I enjoyed The Warrior’s Code. He was also voted 4th smartest person in the world.

    Then he opened his mouth and started talking. Sorry, Mike. You can’t please all of the people all of the time. You just come off as spineless if you try, and nobody will follow you. He would have done better to follow Pierre Trudeau’s example by refusing to bend on certain issues; the important issues that separate Liberals from Conservatives.

    And that’s why Layton stole Iggy’s thunder on the educated left, and Harper snatched the uneducated poor from the center with his lies about cutting taxes for all.

    But I digress. Just thought I’d give a fuller explanation as to why asshole follows from Conservative, but asshole doesn’t follow from Ukranian. Just in case some troll’s out there waiting to put words in my mouth 😛

  20. “Rise up, rise up, rise up.” Hahaha

    It doesn’t matter if ndp is the official oppostion, evangelical harper and his followers are gonna do what they want. Church and wellesley will soon be a beacon of christian light!

    Iggy would have been good for Canada but he’s too academic, see how fast he went to his professorial position.

    Layton is good but it won’t make a difference. Harper majority rules! Here comes a 9hristian nation, say bye bye to the things your use too. What it means for minorities especially Muslims we will see….

    Natalia, I love your big taaas taaas. Hahaa. I’m offended you didn’t address any of my questions. I was going to donate but I think I’m just going to boycott this site(a little too over the top, a tad I think) but really..

    See yaa

  21. Am i getting laid?

    Natalia I love you even though you always hurt me. I could never be with another woman, I can only be with you!

    Or

    No I’m not, part of the new government rules is that all men of puberty have to wear chastity belts, the iron types, made in china with small c on the front. CONSERVATIVE MAN!!!!!

    Or

    I get laid more often than a pack of rabbits. I can do you five times a day and still lay another 50 woman.

    Or

    You have any friends(that’s the pathetic answer)

    Or

    Or

    Or

  22. I’m just wondering how much of our healthcare will turn to pay-per-use so the evangelicals can pay their ‘experts’ to police the Muslims on our buses. Don’t pray or wear your traditional clothing on the bus, Wulfie. Pretend you’re a Xtian when you’re commuting or you might end up in Gitmo 😉

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