“What To Expect When You’re Aborting”

This is a good site. Of course, the author’s getting a ton of hate-mail already, so write her an e-mail and cheer her up. Don’t you just love it when “choose life” folks (the ones who talk about “loving” women and babies a whole lot) turn into raging Neanderthals the minute they come across a woman who *gasp* had an abortion and *double gasp* doesn’t don sackcloth and ashes? This proves their inherent sexism all over again: a woman who doesn’t treat a particular pregnancy as joyful is Satan incarnate, an unnatural aberration that must be humiliated and shouted down.

It all reminds me of a discussion in a women’s studies class back during my undergrad years at Duke, wherein most women raised their hands and said something like, “well, I would never have an abortion, but…” When I shrugged my shoulders and said: “You know what? If I were to get pregnant in my present circumstances, I’d definitely go for an abortion. It would be extremely harmful, both to me and the potential kid, to act otherwise,” a couple of mouths fell open in such precious wonder – not at my words, but rather at the fact that I chose to speak very plainly – that I had to think long and hard about the demonization of this practice even among those who support it.

It’s a private decision, to be sure – and as a person who really hopes to have kids, not one I would personally take lightly – but neither is it a dirty secret.

hat-tip to Screaming Lemur.

5 thoughts on ““What To Expect When You’re Aborting”

  1. I think we’re all entitled to an opinion, it’s the hate-mail crowd I happen to (particularly) dislike.

    Oh, and obviously, I’m not going to pretend to like the “we have rights to your uterus” argument, no matter how nicely it’s expressed. D’oh.

  2. Thanks for passing this on, Natalia. I think I will drop her an encouraging word, and make something for her art project idea. I was very touched!

  3. I don’t really see how saying, “I would never have an abortion” demonizes the procedure. For example, I’d never have a love affair with another woman, but I don’t see how that demonizes lesbianism. I just don’t feel attracted to other women. In fact, I think I’d be more comfortable with a female lawmaker who said that she would never have an abortion but she would keep it legal than I would with someone who said they supported legal abortion because they thought the procedure was the best thing since sliced bread. I mean what if they woke up the next morning and decided abortion wasn’t the best thing since sliced bread? I much prefer positions that are based on principles rather than personal emotions.

  4. Hi Emilia! I’m not really sure if the analogy holds, since we are talking about sexuality on one hand and life circumstances on another. Life circumstances are pretty unpredictable – for all of us.

    I don’t believe that women should enthusiastically affirm abortion when they don’t want to – but what I’m talking about is rather the very specific instance wherein conversations on abortion require all participants to be very somber and negative about it. As I mentioned above – I was not somber or negative, and immediately noticed that my conduct was shocking to some of the women present. I thought that was interesting.

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