The Gentleman Has Standards

Noticed via The Pervocracy & Something Awful.

I have to admit this, I am one of those sappy, boring people who generally cannot bring themselves to make vicious fun of anyone’s quest for love, no matter how idiotic or misguided. Unless I read something like this, that is.

I suppose I could get all serious at this juncture, and talk about how self-hating women might flock to this guy, eager to be validated by his “high standards.” I could, but I’m not going to, because it’s not going to change anyone’s mind. I’ve seen friends, both men and women, drift from one abusive relationship to another, and I learned that keeping a lid on well-meaning advice and making yourself available should the person in question come to you for help is all you can do. Otherwise, you look like an ass, the other person feels like an ass, and there is that weird, awkward vibe that can never be quite erased no matter how many times you get drunk together or gossip online at four a.m.

So. Moving on.

There’s lots of gems scattered about this gentleman’s narrative regarding his search for the perfect woman, the rules of courtship, the meaning of the word “whore,” etc. Here are, however, some of my favourites:Continue reading “The Gentleman Has Standards”

David Brooks Spoke on Sarah Palin and “Elitism,” and the Peasants Grabbed Their Pitchforks

How can anyone take David Brooks on Sarah Palin seriously? Parallel Sidewalk does a good job of fisking a particularly disastrous Palin eruption, and you should read. Now.

I simply cannot let this pass:

People who’ve never been in a Wal-Mart think [Sarah Palin] is parochial because she has never summered in Tuscany. – David Brooks.

David! Dah-ling! Speaking as someone who has never been to Tuscany (but still wants to go; a thought-crime, perhaps?), and pretty much decorated her entire post-college apartment with Wal-Mart house couture, I have to say:

You’re full of crap.

It’s not even the ridiculous false dichotomy you attempt to set up here, it’s just the sheer, absurd lie that you are propagating.

Do you really think that Sarah Palin fished those Kawasaki 704 glasses, the ones that cost at least $375, out of a discount bin at Wal-Mart?

I’ve got no problem with splurging here and there on fashion, what I do have a problem with is the demented insistence that Sarah Palin is some noble Regular Jane who’s going to save the failing economy and fix the disastrous foreign policy through pluck and folksiness and small-town charm. Not to mention the other idea being floated here – that those of us who do not support her are saber-toothed snobs who sustain themselves on lattes and the tears of impoverished widows, spending the better part of our days receiving Dom Perignon enemas from our indentured servants.

Grow up, David Brooks!

Sarah Palin not an elitist? From where I stand, she’s as elite as they come. The fact that she hasn’t used her privilege to learn something about the rest of the world is not a compliment to her. I have seen Alabama housewives who scrimped and saved for a trip abroad with their kids pause in front of a Da Vinci in sheer wonder – are you telling me that Sarah Palin is better than they are?

There are things to be said in favour of Sarah Palin – the simple fact that she has managed to juggle a political career with having five kids, all this in a day and age where childcare is still considered to be the primary responsibility of the woman, is terrific.

What you can’t compliment Sarah Palin on is her profound lack of depth wherein national and international politics are concerned. You can’t sugarcoat that with “well, at least she’ll be at home in Applebee’s” rhetoric. THE WHITE HOUSE IS NOT AN APPLEBEE’S. Why does anyone even need to point this out?

And please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t tell me that Sarah Palin is “just like us” while anyone who opposes her is “not like us.” What does that even mean?

Hey David Brooks, you want to take a look at my student debt? You want to hear about how I couldn’t even get a job that would allow me to make payments on my loans when I first graduated? You want to see the pictures of my bloody and painful dental surgery, the one I ended up needing because I could not afford preventative care? You want to discuss me having to take a job abroad because opportunities for both me and my boyfriend simply did not exist in the United States? You want to chat about how I walked other people’s dogs and edited their vampire sex novels after work just so I could have gas money? Or how I had to ask my friends to bail my ass out when I ran into problems with my auto loan, the one I had to take because public transportation in most American cities is a joke, and got by on the sheer generosity and kindheartedness of said friends? You want to ask my old boss about how I cried in his office after Sallie Mae tried to screw me out of a deferral on my loan?

Oh, but I’m the evil elitist who can’t talk about what is happening to our country? Sure, I have a diploma from Duke University. I’m proud of it too. I worked for that. My parents worked for that. I have the student debt to repay for that – but hey, at least I stuck it through, even when it got really tough, my junior year especially. I did what was right for me: I took my education seriously – and gosh darn it, that is just wrong! We don’t celebrate academic achievement in this country, there’s no room for that high falutin’ intellectual curiosity pinko commie islamofascist satanist mumbo jumbo!

Can place Pakistan on a map? You’re just one of them liberal elites then, shut up and know your place.

And all of this, of course, is coming from David Brooks, mind you. THE David Brooks. The same David Brooks who actually taught courses at my very own Duke University. Right after I had graduated, when my boyfriend and I got stuck eating Nutella off a spoon for breakfast on more occasions than I’d like to recall, he was at the Terry Sanford Institute of Public Policy, getting wined and dined at the WaDuke and Magnolia Grill by our academics.

This is the same David Brooks who gets to lecture people like me on elitism, apparently.

You know, I’ve organized plenty of faculty dinners in my time. When I was doing it, I was mostly thinking about the one thing that I agree on with Camille Paglia: my disdain for those academics who can vehemently attack the comforts of capitalism when they are enjoyed by your regular Joe, then sit down to a nice faculty dinner with a visiting professor, eat lobster on the university’s dime and pretend that they’re more enlightened than some “corporate puppet” like me, while it’s my overblown student loans that pay for the lobster in the first place.

But neither do I like the flip-side of that – the phony concern for your “average hard-working American,” the deliberate dumbing-down of our national discourse, the idiotic riff on Lenin’s suggestion that every cook should be able to run a government (hey you guys! You’ve appropriated Lenin! You’re all scary commie KGB’ers! Bwahaha!).

Why doesn’t David Brooks just admit it? These attacks on “the elite” are mere power plays that are meant to disguise the fact that John McCain, a politician I had some respect for, made a disastrous error in choosing Sarah Palin, the same Sarah Palin who apparently deserves a medal for not falling to pieces during the debate.

You know, having parlayed my own fancy Duke connections into a job in a country where I can at least afford dental care for now, and watching this entire drama play out in the United States on satellite television, I am feeling a genuine chill travel up my spine:

We are in a crisis. We have an enormous budget deficit. Our national debt is getting bought up by China. Our people can’t afford healthcare, they can’t afford to keep their homes, and they are losing their jobs. In light of all this, voting for the Big Oil/Bomb Everything club is not an option.

Where does it stop? We are one of the richest nations in the world, yet in Alaska, a state with particularly depressing rape statistics, Wasilla’s mayor, Sarah Palin, allowed for rape victims to be billed for their own rape kits. Sarah Palin, friend to women. Sarah Palin, not a friend of the “elites,” the one who wouldn’t sully the city budget with something as base as addressing the needs of rape victims.

Perhaps rape is an “elite” concern as well? Do enlighten me, Mr. Brooks.

Colossal Squid Will Go On Display at Te Papa in Wellington on December 13th!

Just in case you haven’t heard – the colossal squid will soon be on display. There is a small chance I might actually be in Wellington that week, but knowing my luck, I will probably have to make do with a new colossal squid website which will, apparently, go online soon.

Also, check out this spooky awesomeness – worthy of any X-Files episode, as far as I’m concerned.

We need Chris Carter to immortalize the squid’s glory. Somehow. Somebody call him please. Now.

The VP Debate, Speaking Personally

I agree with a lot of what Sarah has written about the VP debate. When Sarah Palin first arrived on the scene, I regarded her as a worthy political opponent, someone who would keep the Democratic party on their toes. I welcomed the idea of a woman VP candidate, regardless of party affiliation. But a woman chosen simply for her gender is an insult. And the fact that “all Sarah Palin needed to do was to survive this debate,” an oft-repeated talking point, is an even bigger insult.

I find it funny when someone like Camille Paglia, who is forever talking about how women ought to learn how to play by men’s rules and not expect preferential treatment in the political arena, turns around and hails the Palin pick as “feminist.” Excuse me? The fact that the McCain campaign essentially argued that Palin must be shielded and muzzled by the big boys, lest the press not show her due “deference,” is somehow feminist? The fact that expectations for her are laughably low is also feminist? The fact that we are being encouraged to overlook her political background and her stance on the issues because she has a uterus is in any way shape or form acceptable?

Paglia tore viciously into Hillary Clinton, but Palin got a free pass? Why, exactly, did this happen? And do you mean to tell me that this has nothing at all to do with Paglia’s interest in looks over substance, in charm over clarity?

To be honest, I also found Paglia’s comparison of John McCain to a “vampire” to be equally ridiculous. McCain may be old, both in the sense of his age and in the sense of him representing a political party that will not embrace change at this crucial juncture in our history, but that’s not an excuse to paint him as a decrepit undead monster. If anything, it’s Palin that bothers me more.

So after this debate, all I am left with is the sense that a woman’s success, as defined by the Republican party, doesn’t depend on much. One must look good, galvanize the darling “base,” and be able to complete a sentence. A new take on “feminism” for the 21st century indeed.

“What To Expect When You’re Aborting”

This is a good site. Of course, the author’s getting a ton of hate-mail already, so write her an e-mail and cheer her up. Don’t you just love it when “choose life” folks (the ones who talk about “loving” women and babies a whole lot) turn into raging Neanderthals the minute they come across a woman who *gasp* had an abortion and *double gasp* doesn’t don sackcloth and ashes? This proves their inherent sexism all over again: a woman who doesn’t treat a particular pregnancy as joyful is Satan incarnate, an unnatural aberration that must be humiliated and shouted down.

It all reminds me of a discussion in a women’s studies class back during my undergrad years at Duke, wherein most women raised their hands and said something like, “well, I would never have an abortion, but…” When I shrugged my shoulders and said: “You know what? If I were to get pregnant in my present circumstances, I’d definitely go for an abortion. It would be extremely harmful, both to me and the potential kid, to act otherwise,” a couple of mouths fell open in such precious wonder – not at my words, but rather at the fact that I chose to speak very plainly – that I had to think long and hard about the demonization of this practice even among those who support it.

It’s a private decision, to be sure – and as a person who really hopes to have kids, not one I would personally take lightly – but neither is it a dirty secret.

hat-tip to Screaming Lemur.