Moscow. Jean-Jacques on Nikitsky

Snails. Gossip. Playwrights. Annoying actor types. The greatness and terriblness of power. Class anxiety and cheap wine.

Or, in other words, a personal take on the famous (and, some would say, famously obnoxious) cafe that became the site of a police crackdown during Vladimir Putin’s inauguration on May 7 of this year. Remember that old line about how the terrorists had to have believed in the WTC and what it stood for in order to destroy it? I find similar logic applies here, particularly when it comes to Jean-Jacques’ most virulent haters – though the tale of the French-themed cafe in the heart of Russia is, thankfully, devoid of tragedy. And I hope it stays that way.

Perhaps the gods will punish me for this column

But I really don’t see why Vladimir Medinsky is apparently The Most Horrible Person Of All Time.

I was genuinely afraid that a genuinely polarizing figure such as Nikita Mikhalkov or Stanislav Govorukhin or whoever was about to be appointed Culture Minister – so when I heard it was this guy, I was busy being relieved, while a bunch of other journalists were busy convlusing in agony and disgust.

*shrug*

Also – Ukrainian beer is cheap and good

Just sayin.

Reading the comments, I have to reflect on how much British readers don’t understand the way Ukrainian government works. When I say that “racism in Ukraine is no longer being swept under the rug,” they say, “Aha! But your Foreign Ministry is denying it even exists!”

That’s because Ukrainian government doesn’t really *do* much. It’s all down to civil society now in Ukraine – which is still too small, but growing fast. The Foreign Ministry can say that the real social problems in Ukraine revolve around people-eating plants from Pluto – and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash.

I suppose you will think different if you have MP’s who are at least minimally accountable to their own people. Ukraine? That’s a whole different game. To you. Bahaha.

Remember: I read tarot

For cheap.

I don’t think that the tarot has anything to do with predicting the future – but it is useful when you’re trying to figure out the present. I think of it as a form of therapy, not as a form of fortune-telling. Different spreads usually suit different people, and I do all of my readings in essay form via e-mail these days. I find that useful. If you’re interested, drop me a line in the comments section here (be sure to include your real e-mail address in the form) and I’ll get in touch over the next few days. I accept PayPal.

I’m in Crete

My husband is obsessed with this country and I may have to stop making fun of him for that – for reasons that are suddenly obvious.

The nights are starry in an insane, Van Gogh-sort of way. The sea is a dense oil painting. Waiters say that all of the jobs are here – and in Athens, “but who the hell wants to go to Athens?” The clouds come down and fit on top of the mountains like hats, and then they dip into the valleys, and turn the sun overhead into a ghost. “Greece is like a mirror. It makes you suffer. Then you learn.”