Despite being broke and living in the jungles of Novogireyevo.
Lev and I listen to the Marriage of Figaro on Saturday mornings.
At night, I can leave Lev with daddy and go trudging through the snow. The soldiers outside the barracks near the ponds still offer me their cigarettes. Nikolay Khomeriki still tells me all the same things when he’s drunk (and he still doesn’t know who I am).
Most of the time I’m just bloated with bags under my eyes, and with high blood pressure, and with distant plans to “get myself together” one of these days – but I also don’t hate myself. I wouldn’t have the energy to do so even if I tried.
I walk by the frozen ponds in the dark, and listen to the sound of the highway mingling with the sound of the winter woods. The birches and oaks are asleep and, at the same time, they are watching. I come hope and peel off layers of clothing, and Lev is asleep in his crib, and we drink discounted wine and make no plans for the future. We’re learning to live in the here and now.
Natalia A. 
The walking and not making plans for the future sounds like a good strategy to me, something like Thoreau. But the bloating and high blood pressure worry me. Maybe its a post-pregnancy thing, but you should look into what might be causing it.
I know what’s causing it, alright. It’s called the I Need a Normal Life disease. And there is no cure.
Just a note to say that I really enjoy reading your articles in RIA Novosti!
Regarding your stress: my wife and I have a “Yuppie” life, I suppose, and yet we (my Russian wife and I) are often stressed as well: work, our child, his homework, bills, repairs to make on house and car, etc.
As you say, though, there is no “cure.”
Thank you!
If I could go sit on a beach for a month, I would…
Sounds great, but the weather is not right for it now. Might make you more depressed. Moscow is a large city in which there are many things to do. Maybe visit a coffee shop regularly – I did that in graduate school while writing essays on literature. From there, you could quaff caffeine and write a book, a play, or poetry while you wait for the weather to warm up for the beach. You certainly write well and seem to enjoy it. Here in the states, it’s called “bibliotherapy.”
To be specific – if I were to sit on a beach right now, I would do so in Thailand…
That would definitely be great!! Eating spicy Thai food would be an additional bonus. Costly vacation, however, and potentially inspires more feelings of frustration and futility because of the great difficulty in making it happen (at least, for me, personally). It would just be an indulgence of self-defeat unless realistic plans/activities were being conducted to that end.