Oh for God’s sake, Jessica Simpson is not freaking “fat”

Let me first say that I generally object to all dissections of famous people’s weight gains and losses. I have to be realistic and say that one hand, this sort of thing is inevitable, but on the other hand – maybe if we had a slightly more inclusive beauty standard, it wouldn’t happen so often.

I am personally really tired of the slightly androgynous, petite, zero jiggle beauty standard that is currently meant to define “classy” or “fashionable.” I’m not saying that there aren’t women who totally rock that look – but come on. Some people just shouldn’t try to fit into that mould to begin with, but are told that they have to. The truth is, it doesn’t work for everyone, and its exclusivity doesn’t make it more appealing, just boring, because people who ought to know better are nattering on about how fabulous it is. At this point, it’s like hearing some twelve-year-old talk about how “awesome” Nickelback are. It’s been done, over and over again. If I was twelve, I would have been right there too. But I’m not twelve, and society must mature with me, dammit.

You know what? I hated it when Angelina Jolie was shown as having dropped at least a size in “Wanted.” It. Didn’t. Work. For. Her. Notice, I’m not calling her a “waif” or sneering about how she should have eaten a cheeseburger. What I am saying is that with her face and body structure, or, actually, divinely-inspired architecture, you need a little oomph and fat. If your body is not meant to weight 120 pounds, it will cry out in protest. And the strain will be visible to all.

I’m not even going to attempt to dig into all of the class and race issues surrounding body weight that we all carry around in our collective beauty culture. I still remember how Cindy Crawford was quoted at being amazed, and not in an especially positive way, that J. Lo could flaunt her decently sized butt like she did. Am not saying that Cindy’s racist (I kind of heart Cindy), but how long is it going to take people to catch on that, hey, it’s not a one-size-fits-all, and not everyone finds the skinny, granite-like supermodel ass attractive, and that it’s OK?

I know what many of you are going to say – “but Natalia, why not do away with beauty standards altogether?” Continue reading “Oh for God’s sake, Jessica Simpson is not freaking “fat””

Fun fashion meme

Because you can never have enough of talking about yourself. Or clothes.

This one was sent to me by email (thanks, Lal!), but it’s frivolously good and ethically conscious, I want to put it up on the blog:

Name an item of clothing that has been with you the longest:
On my thirteenth birthday, friends of the family gave me a blue-gray bikini. The packaging said: “guaranteed to last 10 years.” It’s lasted for 11 years, so far.

What’s an article of clothing that you can’t live without (BESIDES jeans, people)?
Never underestimate the power of a great bra, I say. Preferably with sparkly straps.

Describe your perfect winter & summer footwear:
Winter: knee-high, patent leather boots on a low heel. Summer: Flip-flops with jewelled, blingy little accents.

What’s a good, ethical clothing brand you’d recommend?
Sharkah Chakra makes great eco-jeans. They don’t treat their workers like shit, and they don’t crap all over the environment either. The only drawback is that the jeans are not cheap.

And what’s a brand you wouldn’t recommend?
I don’t like PETA, but they’re right when they tell us NOT to buy fur from Burberry. The fur business in general isn’t very pleasant once you think about it, but if you’re already into fur, just stay clear of Burberry fur. I love that label, but they have really sneaky ways of getting around regulations on the fur industry and it’s really unfortunate.

What’s the ugliest trend of all time?
Like, besides shoulder-pads? Personally, I think really high-waisted pants are godawful.

And the prettiest?
I’m sorry, but as far as I’m concerned, chandelier earrings never went out of style. I LOVE them, and think they’re a great way to brighten up an otherwise basic outfit.

What colors predominate in your wardrobe?
Greys and pinks.

What are your vintage shopping strategies (if you have them)?
I think vintage is a great way to help balance out some of the bullshit that the garment industry is involved in. I don’t shop vintage a whole lot, since things in my size are usually hard to find, but I accept hand-me-downs readily. I also raid my mother’s closet every time I go home. It’s not stealing if she hasn’t worn the thing for over a year… right?

What’s the most insane piece of clothing that you have ever owned?
This pair of glossy pleather pants that I wore on many occasions. And by “occasions,” I don’t just mean Halloween.

If you could describe the majority of the clothes you own in one word, what would it be?
Figure-hugging (not short, not open, or low-cut, but not baggy – I hate baggy).

I tag Octo, Hedonistic Pleasureseeker, Ren, Renee, Daisy, Debs, Amber, and anyone else who’s reading and wants to have a go.

PETA’s “Worst Dressed List” – About as progressive as Rush Limbaugh’s big toe

Every year, PETA, the darling of clueless celebrities everywhere (dear actors & pop stars of the known universe, don’t just check with your publicist if the PETA people are “nice,” or whatever, do research), puts us through the hypocritical indignities of their sanctimonious “Worst Dressed List.”

Of course, PETA is that classy organization that once compared Holocaust victims to chickens, so what the hell can you expect?

Still, the language of the “Worst Dressed List” continues to astound me. Last year, PETA was gleefully making fun of Nicole Ritchie’s suspected eating disorder, and guffawing about Christina Ricci’s big forehead (my forehead is big too, and I will personally eat a big juicy steak in honour of PETA’s third-grade lunchroom tactics).

Now they’ve compared Eva Longoria to a “streetwalker” and made fun of Aretha Franklin’s weight. Because, you see, to encourage people to think progressively you must first attack them in a fashion that would make Rush Limbaugh proud.

Ever notice how PETA reserve most of their venom for women? I don’t usually hear about PETA activists insulting, say, a biker gang in public. Why? Because old ladies in fur coats make for easier targets, of course. And hey, sexist language, fat-shaming, and other such insults will surely inspire people to be kinder and more thoughtful.

This is all beside PETA’s tragic hipness, of course. That holier-than-thou, fundamentalist cause célèbre packaged as enlightenment.

Note, I am not picking on individual members. I just hate the overall sentiment.

Like many people, I have serious problems with the fur and leather industry and the food industry. Having said that, I am not vegetarian, and I don’t have any immediate plans to become one. I don’t believe that humane pet ownership translates into pet slavery either. I think a balance can be struck between higher industry standards and evolving lifestyle choices.

I think good synthetic meat, fur, and leather are the way to go for the future. I put faith in science. I can only hope science will be sufficiently touched by such a statement, and makes my dreams come true. Have at it, science.

But that’s just me.

Bottom line? PETA, you suck.